Karma can summed up as "what goes around, comes around." But The Huey Karma twists it to the point of Murphy's Law. Want to see how I get from here to there? Read on.
Throughout my decades of sports watching and borderline fanaticism, I have made numerous observations. Not least of which is that everything in sports revolves around me and what I do. But it goes deeper than this.
I have also noticed through my supersticious behavior that anytime I begin to think positive about any of my teams, things inevitably go bad. It can be within the context of a single game. My team gets a big lead......just to blow it down the stretch. I assume the game is won because there is no way the opponent can come back with such little time left......my team somehow finds a way to lose. Or it could be within the context of a season....my team as a sure shot at making the postseason....they don't make the playoffs at all.
Here are some examples:
Exhibit A) 2001 Cleveland Browns vs. Kansas City Chiefs.
The clock says 0:00. The Browns have more points than the Chiefs. We Won! Nope. Dwayne Rudd get flagged for taking his helmet off. Never seen this penalty before in my life. Penalty results in field goal attempt for Chiefs. KC wins.
Exhibit B) Same season vs. Chicago Bears.
Fourth quarter with a 14 point lead for the Browns. Everybody thinks the game is over. The Bears proceed to score a touchdown, get an onside kick and Hail Mary another touchdown. Go to OT, Browns win the coin toss only to throw a pick 6 and lose the game.
Exhibit C) Same Season vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
My memory is vague for details but it was the infamous beer bottles on the field game when the instant reply wasn't supposed to be used but was anyway despite the Browns snapping the ball. Led to Browns loss.
Exhibit D) The Drive....'nuff said.
Exhibit E) The Fumble...c'mon.
Exhibit F) The Shot....poor Craig Ehlo.
Exhibit G) 2007 season Cleveland Browns vs. Buffalo Bills
After the huge victory my friend and I walked out of the Stadium chanting "Playoffs!" knowing we just needed to beat Cincinnati to all but clinch a berth. The following week the Browns promptly lost to the Buungles.
Exhibit H) 2007-2008 Columbus Blue Jackets
The Blue Jackets start off well this season and I text for free tickets. As a result I get updates after each period of Jacket scores. They have lost all but two games since I began.
Exhibit I) 1997 World Series Cleveland Indians vs. Florida Marlins
Tribe takes a lead into the 7th inning of game 7 only to have Jose Mesa come in later to blow a save and game and ultimately the series.
Exhibit J) 2007 season Cleveland Indians
The Tribe has a 3-2 lead on the sox with our best two pitchers due up in the next two games. We lose both and end up home watching the World Series.
Exhibit K) 1998 Ohio St Buckeyes vs. Michigan St SpartansShamefully, probably the best OSU football team during my years at OSU (technically I graduated before football season though) and they couldn't represent it with a National Championship.
Exhibit L) 1990s Pre-Tressel Football Buckeyes
Loss after loss after loss to the team up north unless the season was already shot.
I could go on. It has happened on my softball teams, soccer teams, intra-mural basketball teams and more. Almost every time I feel positive, something negative happens to bring me back to earth and reality.
It has gotten to the point that I just refer to it as the Huey Karma. In order to make it fit the Karma label though I have to twist things. So here it goes:
When I begin to assume anything for my team that is positive, it is looked at as disrespectful to the opponent and therefore the disrespect is negative energy coming from me. So in return I get negative energy back which is a loss or lack of postseason.
This goes back to the 80s when I would go to Browns games with my dad and brother and the fans would chant "we will rock you." I refused to join in because of the ramifications of the "karma police." This is not a lie. 100% truth. I had no idea what karma was, but I felt something wrong about chanting that. It would come back to haunt me for sure...I was convinced of it. And it did.
You don't believe me? Ask two good friends of mine Chad and Ernie. They doubted me at first as well. Laughed at me even.
Now? Before you could finish your question they would tell you to fear the karma. The Huey Karma is real. It is powerful.
Don't mess with the karma or the karma will mess with you!!
9 comments:
What's crazy about exhibit B is that the Bears won with a pick-6 in OT for the second week in a row.
Give me a break. Sure, Cleveland has had its share of tough sports moments, but you failed to mention all the successes. Remember, your teams have been to the championship round in 4 of the last 7 major sports seasons (NBA, NFL, MLB, NCAA football and basketball). Ok, none of them won, but it's still an envious position. Didn't your softball team win a championship? Didn't the Buckeyes win a championship in an absolutely storybook season in '02? Move to Philadelphia or Buffalo and start telling people about Huey karma. Don't expect any sympathy.
Well at least you didn't play the Boston or Chicago card. I would have been pissed.
Of course you are right, this whole thing was tongue and cheek. Or was it?
Oh yeah and Doug....Buffalo is no worse off than Cleveland, maybe even better. They went to several Super Bowls. Browns 0. The Tribe didn't get to the WS last year at all or since 97. And didn't win it. The Cavs made only one Finals and were swept. You have to throw OSU into the mix to get anything. Might as well give Buffalo Syracuse then. They won a championship in basketball with Carmelo recently.
So...yes, the karma remains true. Even versus Buffalo. Since when was settling for one team in the championship getting swept a good thing? That is how powerful the Huey Karma is. It lowers our collective expectations.
Now I need to explain away Philly but my job is in the way.
The reason the Buckeyes won the championship in '02 was because it was storybook. The whole season Huey and I were very negative week after week. "This is the week they are going to lose. No way they can do it again!" It was reverse karma. We never put all of our eggs into one basket as we had done with other Cleveland teams that have lost. And getting to a championship is not enough. There is first place and then there is evryone else. What did the OSU teams who went to the championships get that everyone else didn't? Oh yeah, embarrased! FEAR THE KARMA!!
Yeah Chad, that '02 season was hard work wasn't it? We almost didn't make it a couple times, but our pessimism stayed strong. I'm surprised we haven't gotten any well deserved credit for that season now that I think about it.
For the record, the Cavs stink on ice this year. They won't win another game. And I'm banking some pessimism for the Tribe too, they won't even break .500 this season.
Huey,
I can't keep up with all your blogs! Ha I love the Huey Karma. Especially this season's Blue Jackets. That is hilarious. Nash could go to practically any other team and make them a Cup contender, I think he could've beaten Ottawa on his own tonight. I don't know what to say about the Huey Karma except that there are a lot of bad memories that are associated with that Karma.
I LOVE the whole idea of "FEAR THE KARMA"!!!
Beau, this is your genetic imperative. I'm sorry, but your Uncle Dan and I have been miserable sports fans since long before you were born. By the way, he and I watched the very first Super Bowl together, and he explained to me how the whole thing worked, this new kind of championship game.
Also, your karma with sports reminds me uncomfortably of what it feels like to be a Democrat these days. For the third time in a row, we're going to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, and we'll do it to ourselves. The right wing can phone it in.
Yes, the karma extends to all facets of life. It also can be dealt with. You must "play the game" with the karma as I have learned. But it is very tricky in that if the karma realizes you are playing the game, it will get you.
Quick example: Last week the weather people predicted a "winter storm" (Columbus' "storm" seems to be much different than Cleveland's) Thursday night. So naturally all us teachers were hoping for a snow day. Someone posted a makeup date for the potluck we were going to have Friday due to the impending snow day. NO!!!!!!!!! That means we wouldn't have one. Fortunately Chad and I sprung into action and quickly shot down the idea of any chance of a day off and told everyone to prepare the dishes regardless. Looks like they listened because we had no school despite the weak so called storm.
I am curious what you mean about the right phoning it in. I'd like to hear your details.
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