No Excuses

I often hear members of the Cleveland Cavaliers say they are a "no excuse team." This means that they will not come up with some reason why they lose a game or make mistakes other than the fact that they were outplayed or did not get the job done.

It is refreshing to see and hear this. Instead of passing the buck or blaming someone or something else, these players and coaches answer to a self-accountable agenda and own their mistakes in an era and culture that does the opposite.

This is where my sports reference stops.

Whether it is in my classroom or in the general public, I consistently hear people avoid any kind of ownership in their own actions. Mistakes are inevitably followed by what somebody else did or some other factor that led to their mistake.

I have heard it a million times. "I didn't make the team because the coach is a jerk." "It's all politics. I'm as good as anybody on that team." "The refs had it out for us. You can't beat your opponent AND the refs."

"He was talking too. Why are you mad at me?" "He hit me first." "She was talking about my mama!" "You always pick on me." All of this as they watch me watching them doing something wrong.

I have heard people who can't keep jobs (or drag their feet looking for a jobs) explain every time that it was their boss' fault or a problem with the business itself or the people they worked with at the place of employment. Never do they admit that they didn't perform the way that was required.

I am a culprit as well. This is not an attempt to point my finger at anybody in particular or to ignore my share in this tendency. At some point, we need to toughen up and admit our mistakes and focus on fixing them or moving on from them.

Personally, I have consciously made an effort to avoid this type of behavior. But these attempts are just looked at as pessimism or negative thinking. Sometimes, people make comments that I am too hard on myself.

It is a difficult line to walk. Balancing between self-accountability and pessimism is not easy.

This past week I made two bad throws during double play attempts. It wasn't the runner coming at me, it wasn't the sun, it wasn't a bad throw from my teammate, it was purely, 100% my inability to make that throw well enough.

When I get upset with myself and later make a comment that I can't make that throw, I come off as pessimistic.

I understand my personal issue here. I generally make numerous negative comments about things before they happen. I also go overboard in my negative talk and overtones. So I am seen as a pessimistic person. The Huey Karma is a perfect example.

I'll own this.

In my case, I need to better balance the accountability and pessimism by forcing myself to be more positive in general.

But people in general need to quit coming up with excuses. Call it what it is. If you are lazy, you are lazy. If you don't like it....change it. If you don't want to change it, then realize you are what you are and quit coming up with excuses about why you are that way. The reason is that you have chosen to be that way.

I am pessimistic. I am trying to be more positive. No excuses. That is what I am. Hopefully, I won't be in the future.

Man up and deal with your shortcomings in honest way. Nobody expects you to be perfect and if they do, that is their problem not yours.

The End Justifies The Means?

Are you a believer in the old saying, "The end justifies the means?" I think I am. There are limits of course. I believe each situation is unique and needs to be examined on a case by case basis. What about when rule breaking comes into the picture?

On the morning of The Game I should be blogging about this rivalry game between Ohio State and nagihcim. In fact I should have been all week like my buddy did here. But I have had heavier things on my brain of late. Regardless of that team's horrible record this game is still important and big and anyone can win. In fact it would not surprise one bit if that team came down here and beat us due to this very fact and that the whole world isn't giving them a chance. Despite this, I am consumed with other things, so let's continue:

I am curious what people think about this concept of the end justifying the means. I am widely considered a good person. I think that I am. I try to do things that are "right" and "good." My relationship with my daughter's mother is an example of my efforts to "be the better man" and put any and all bitterness behind me. So much of what I do regarding my kid is based in what is right more than what I want even though I admit I haven't held true to this every time. I try to be good not perfect.

I find myself in a position right now where I can do something that is beneficial in my mind for someone I love dearly. The issue here is that it breaks the rules. I am 100% aware that I would break these rules to do this. I know exactly what I am doing and have no hesitation to do it. I feel no guilt whatsoever. Honesty is important, but in this case, I don't mind being dishonest. I am willing to pay the consequences....assuming these consequences are what I think they are. (In the words of former Cardinals' head coach Dennis Green: "They are who we thought they were...AND WE LET THEM OFF THE HOOK!!")

I firmly believe in this case that the end justifies the means. Nobody is technically getting hurt. Nobody is benefiting in a superficial, shallow way. The benefit is life altering for the better (if I could only be more dramatic, geez) without any real harm being done to get it. It is something that is done all the time for nothing more than convenience. In my case, it is not for convenience but something deeper. But of course, anyone who breaks a rule or law has their own justification for it. In their mind, they are right. What is it about mine that is more justified than theirs? Rules and laws are there for a reason, right? Plus, I am not saying that I am not breaking any rules, I admit I am. I'm saying my case trumps those rules. I choose not to get into details publicly, but my logic here is sound. I have thought this through and feel comfortably justified in this logic.

Now, no decision has been made. There are other options. I plan to study every option. My fear is that these other options are not attainable. Therefore, I am setting my sights on this "rule breaking" option. There is still a good bit of time ahead and calls to be made and ideas to be hatched before I make a decision. I also need to let go of my controlling nature and allow other vested interests get their say. But for the sake of discussion, does the end justify the means to you? Do I forfeit my "good guy" badge for intentionally breaking the rules even when I feel there is a greater purpose here? Do I get a mulligan here and allow myself to be dishonest.

I think so.

Above all, my loved ones come first. Even before honesty and rule following.