2008 In Review....Part 2

SUMMER
The summer began with much expectation. The time off for my wife and I was dearly needed. The warm weather was going to help with all of the life changes we were about to make. I managed to make it out with some friends to check out Hanzel Und Gretyl at Skully's in Columbus, Ohio. It was a the first time in about a decade that I was able to see them live. The show was awesome and I loved every minute of it.

Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate played an extremely entertaining and exciting U.S. Open solidifying my interest in golf.....as long as Tiger is playing. The Indians played through a lackluster season continuing my expectations of the descent of my teams from a stellar yet championshipless 2007. I continued through mediocre seasons in softball although my play was far below mediocre. The Celtics won the NBA Title adding to my anger towards Boston fan. But the Cavs signed a key free agent in the offseason in Mo Williams who would fill a dying need. Also, Ferry managed to work his magic in the draft to get a couple of key big men that show a lot of promise if they can develop enough in time.

My family dealt with a tragedy and I blogged about the grieving I went through. I was able to move on and grow from the experience but the effects of that event are still manifesting themselves in subtle actions and much of my thinking. While I repeat the steps that led to that horrific experience, I can't help but fall back to those feelings and deal with much of the fear and paranoia that is still present as a result.

With the residue of that experience still around, my wife and I put one foot in front of the other (actually two feet since there was two of us) and tried to celebrate our first anniversary with a trip to West Virginia. It was a nice little trip together where we enjoyed some couple time. We also decided it was time to really push to get the house ready for the market and move into a house that would truly be ours. We felt like we were still living in the past with the current house. So we began the process of fixing the countless little problems with the house and trying to improve the look. I almost lost my mind due to frustration from my lack of Mr. Fix-it skills.
In between the the home improvements I made a trip out to Evanston with my dad to help move my brother's family from one apartment to another. It was a cool weekend to share with the men of my immediate family moving furniture, eating some good barb-b-que and sampling the campus hang outs. Doug was able to show us around and let us peek into his life a little bit.

Just as we put the house on the market and witnessed the cats' stubborn resistance to all the change, I left for Las Vegas to celebrate my good friend's upcoming marriage. I left for Los Angeles to meet two other good friends who also were contributing to the Vegas bachelor party and began a week of good times with good people creating memories that we will relive for a long time.

When I returned, it was back to the grind. School was ready to begin the house was on the market. Football season was ready to start and I finished my first year in a new fantasy baseball league in a very respectable second place. The school routine was back up and running. At the same time the presidential election was heating up and I began to blog more and more about my political views and my hopes for the future.

AUTUMN
Ohio State lost in embarrassing fashion to a superior USC team. It reinforced my fears that OSU was overrated and over hyped. There was very little if anything to realistically take from the game as positive. The weak schedule only gave Penn State as an opportunity to redeem our reputation but while that game was hard fought and showed some glimpse of hope, we lost that one too and went on to beat teams we should be including bitter rival, Michigan who had one of their worst seasons ever under new coach Rich Rodriquez.

The Browns looked absolutely horrible and quit more often than not. They mailed in the last 1/3 of the season after it was obviously a lost cause. "Romeo must go," I kept saying before the season. 2007 was fool's gold in more ways than one and was probably a really bad thing. 2008 proved me right.

The Cavs on the other hand came out guns blazin'! Since you don't win NBA titles in December, the 25-4 start means absolutely NOTHING!!!! It is a good sign. It has been fun to watch. But it will be interesting to see if they maintain such a rate of success.

I was able to take a trip out to Evanston, Illinois again. This time it was to watch my Ohio State Buckeyes dominate a solid Northwestern team. It was cold. Oh so cold. But it was a fun weekend with my brother and his wife's family. Anytime I can catch the Buckeyes on the road and knock out another Big Ten stadium, I am happy.

My wife and sister-in-law and I ventured out to see Trent Reznor, better known as Nine Inch Nails, play a show in Columbus. The visual effects were outstanding. He had an interactive screen at times behind him and at other times in front of him. It was pretty cool and creative. He played an ok set. There was a bit much of his instrumental slow stuff but he doesn't seem to be as angry as he once was. I guess money will do that for you right?

Obama was elected president of the United States promising change and giving hope of unity and improved pride in ourselves and country. In the end it will be up to us to make any effective changes. My hope has been that Obama will be charismatic enough to lead the change and motivate us to make the right kind of changes. But as I obsess over 2012 and armageddon, I worry that Obama may be the antichrist. I have problems.

Basically, this is where I stand right now. 2008 wasn't my best years. I still think it wasn't my worst either. I have a lot of changes I need to make in the way I behave and think. I am working on that. What happened in 2008 has led me to these things. So maybe 2008, while being difficult at the time, will prove to be a year that led to better things and much needed growth.

Is this Fatigue?

Let me tell you...this post is all about me unleashing some venom.

I am really cranky, irritable, and tense. I don't want to work on this house anymore. I feel like we have been racing to get things done for months now and we still have so much more to go. I thought I'd feel some satisfaction from crossing off things on the to do list but each thing that gets scratched off turns into two or even three other things to do!!!

Also, I feel guilty because there have been numerous people helping out. My wife is doing more than I am doing. Her expectations are a bit higher than mine. Her parents have helped out tremendously with their expertise. As I blogged before, fixing things is not my forte. I need much help and education. So I shouldn't be so tired of this.

In addition to the frustration over the amount of work, we have spent a tremendous amount of money on these things. If I have to watch my wife buy any more flowers, paint, brushes, light bulbs, blue tape, box cutters, door stops, carpet, carpet padding, floor tiles, glue, light fixtures, towel racks, top soil, grass seed, pipes and pieces for pipes I never heard of or knew about, and so on...I will gouge my eyeballs out slowly and mercilessly. I can't even pay for this because I am dead broke. Ok, ok not really broke, but broke after the bills are paid. Nobody's filing for bankruptcy here.

So far my vacation has consisted of ripping out bushes and mini-trees, growing grass. pulling weeds and planting a garden, pulling more weeds, cleaning the shutters, painting the garage, three bedrooms, outside trim, pulling off wallpaper in the basement, painting that basement, fixing two bathroom sinks, putting up a towel rack, taking down and putting up two light fixtures, fixing two three lights, getting new carpeting, fixing baseboards and putting in three new vents, boxing up clutter and taking out furniture not used anymore, finding a plumber to fix the leaks we didn't get, calling to get bulk trash pickup and then finding out we have to dump most of it somewhere ourselves, hearing nobody will help with the shutters leaving us to deal with them despite the fact that they are too high up for our ladder, dealing with a misquote by the stupid people at Home Depot and still going back to fix another mistake they made on the price, dealing with the nickel and dime crap they put us through with the charges for installation (easy one time charge of $199 my ass!) and planning with the wife and in-laws how to do it all.

And I still have to paint the back exterior steps, plant more grass, level more of the backyard, paint the rest of the garage, move furniture while the carpet people install because moving furniture wasn't in their contracted amount, figure out how to rid ourselves of the piles of trash in our garage, fix the smoke alarm and CO2 alarm, fix the front outdoor water socket, fix the back patio exterior outlet, seal the driveway, steamclean the basement carpet, paint my daughter's room, clean the place up and down and more that I have forgotten.

I'm really pissed off.

My poor daughter is getting bored and my patience with her is nonexistent. Her mom takes her all over the midwest to amusement parks, county fairs to ride rides and meanwhile we have her watch us work. We try to let her help us paint, she loves that, but she drips it all over the place. I am trying not to take it out on her or my wife but they are getting the brunt of it.

I am glad this is happening when we have time, the summer. To think how stressed I would be if I was teaching through all of this? Missing my football on the weekends? Oh my, my, my. To think if I had to do this on my income alone? Fortunately, my wife makes enough to pay for this while I keep cranking out the monthly bills and debts. We haven't had to put any of this on credit cards.

This was my attempt at venting....exhale.



Ok, I feel better now. Tomorrow is a new day. Day of more work...but new attitude.

Father's Day

I have blogged about being a Father, which I take very seriously as you have noticed. I am very proud of being a Father. Today, in honor of Father's Day, I would like to pay tribute to my Father who has been my model for Fatherhood and how I try raise my daughter and child to be.


My Dad has taught me as much as any Father. He has shown me how to be a man, husband, son, neighbor, friend, trusted set of ears, shoulder to cry on, financial advisor, emotional supporter, teacher, coach and good person.

I want to share with you how much respect and love I have for my Dad through several stories from my life that highlight his best qualities.

Money
Growing up he would give us an allowance every Friday regardless of whether we did our chores or not. I remember thinking that we were getting away with highway robbery but later found out that his goal was not so much to get us to do chores, (I think he was pretty lax in that department but also figured we should do that regardless of allowance) but to teach us to handle money appropriately. By giving us a "ration" each week and then holding us to it when we wanted to buy that candy bar staring at us waiting in line at the store, we were forced with the decision of how important that treat was to us. Through those experiences we learned the scarcity of money. It also probably got us off his back when we were at the store by getting us to quit begging him for stuff which can be awfully annoying for a parent (or teacher).

Education
I also remember how much emphasis he put on grades. He was of the belief that all three of us were more than capable of getting all A's and we were. He knew the gene pool we came from and it was unlikely two extremely intelligent people like my parents would have offspring that just could not get A's. But he also knew that A's took work. So as we grew older and our friends were dealing with authoritative parents trying to keep them out of trouble, Dad would continue to point to the grades as an indicator of our behavior and prospects of success later in life.

I understand this method could be debated and wouldn't work for every kid, but that was the greatness of my Father. He knew his kids. He knew this method would work with us. He let alot of things go, but he didn't give an inch on grades. I never got that feel good "atta boy, son!" for a B. Shoot, even A's were treated as expected. When I faltered in college, he immediately lit a fire under my butt that propelled me to the A's I should have earned long before. As grown adults, my brother and sister and I have managed to get where we are now rather successfully albeit totally different places (i.e. teaching, business and entertainment), in large part due to our education.

I am grateful he did this because even though I didn't consistently get the 4.0 that my siblings did (for reasons that can be blogged about later), it was a tangible motivator for me that instilled this value for education and success later in college.

Being the Better Person
My Dad has been a model for me in numerous facets of life. One way is the grace, maturity and compassion that he handled the divorce with my mom. It couldn't have been an easy thing for him to deal with, yet he was so supportive, understanding and caring through the whole thing. The way he continues to handle his relationship with my mother is admirable. Instead of being bitter and resentful, he has shown how humans should treat each other keeping an eye on what really is important. He continues to support her as she does him. He made sure things were done for the best of all parties involved. Obviously, no one can say it was an easy transition, but it could have been so much worse.

As I have dealt with divorce myself, I have tried to be the same way. Now that I am "in his shoes," I appreciate just how mature and strong he has been with the whole thing. It is such a slippery slope into those negative feelings of anger, self-pity and bitterness. But from my point of view, he never came close. To this day he defends my mother's side and never complains.

Definition of Strength
If you have been reading this blog or know me personally, you have probably noticed that I don't fall into that stereotypical "manly man" category. My Dad taught me through example that strength is much more broad than muscles and ability to hold in your emotions. I can credit my mom for wearing my heart on my sleeve, but my Dad showed me that sometimes that is ok. He welcomed the opportunity to allow me to cry on his shoulder. I still remember leaving a mark on the shoulder of his nice shirt after church or some dress up event one day in the living room sitting on the piano bench. He wasn't the least bit bothered by it. He was quick to give me a hug if I looked distraught. He also was willing to be the one to give in when we argued to make peace....even though I was obviously out of line.

He showed me strength wasn't always being the "man," but being the better man. Sometimes justice wasn't as important as peace. Doing what is right is more important than winning. I am not sure he directly told me this, but showed me it through his actions.

Financial Advisor
As I entered adulthood and began buying cars and houses and insurance and making decisions about retirement and so on, I would call Dad (and will continue to do so) before I'd pull the trigger on anything. Before I knew it, he would come calling with a spreadsheet and thorough explanation of all my options and their effects. Without him, who knows where I would be right now.

Support System
During any time of need my Dad has been there in anyway I needed at the drop of a hat. When my daughter was in the hospital, he never hesitated to pack his emergency bag, tie up his loose end responsibilities and drive down I-71 to be there with me. Whether it meant standing by my side with a hand on my shoulder, providing me with that shoulder again to cry on, take notes of what the doctors were saying, asking questions I couldn't get out in the midst of my mind running a million miles a second, going home to make sure my house is ok or to get me a change of clothes, running down to pay for more time parking or move the car to the garage, finding the vending machines, looking for times the cafeteria would be open, calling other family members and the list goes on, he would be there to do it all and more.

I remembered this last month when my grandmother, his mother passed away. My knee-jerk reaction was, "I gotta get up there to be with him." It must have been instinct because I was programmed that way from my experience on the other side.


And I can't end this section without mentioning his undying support of his mother as she progressed through Alzheimer's. Again, a tough, tough situation to handle yet he dealt with it with such grace and love. He visited her everyday and advocated for her 100% for 100% of the time. She was able to live a comfortable and pleasant life to the end because of his unending support and care.

Mr. Fix-it
Oh yes, Dad couldn't fix much. Paying somebody else to fix it was the best solution. I think his favorite tool was the pen. A pen to write the check. I am my Father's son!
Sports
I can't end this post without mentioning one of my favorite memories of my Dad. While he never was the type of Father to push me into sports or expect me to be this great athlete, he was such a great fan. I played so many years of soccer and a number of years playing city league baseball and softball in my childhood but nothing stands out as much as my dad standing on the sidelines away from the other parents cheering me on and yelling encouragement from the sidelines. Whether it was screaming to back up another defender or yelling the name of an open teammate to pass the ball to, he was so into it and I loved every minute of it. Finally, I loved the numerous driveway basketball games or frontyard football games that he would play with us. He was always the dad that got out there with us and played along....even now, bowling with is granddaughter.


That's my awesome Dad. I'm trying to be the same kind of Dad to my kids because of his awesomeness.

Me and my lack of manliness

As I have progressed through my life I have come to the conclusion I am just not much of a man's man. Most of the time I am ok with it. I even take pride in it at times. Other times I feel inadequate. I have voiced this to my wife on numerous occasions. Ironically, she feels quite the opposite saying that I am "just a typical guy" and most of our disagreements are results of the fact that I am stereotypical man she is a stereotypical woman. You know, battle of the sexes thing.

Well, today she witnessed just what I mean. We are working on the house to improve it. Why now? Well despite living here for 6 years I have done nothing to the house. It needs alot of TLC as they say. Getting my point yet?

Today we did the simple project of putting shelving in the closet to turn it into a much needed pantry. Nothing to it right? Not when Huey is on the case. Anything remotely requiring the manly skill of using tools and building stuff or putting stuff together is a laborious pain in the...

We had to use these things called Mollies. Huh? The lady at Home Depot told us how to use them and I obviously didn't understand as I struggled through the entire afternoon with them. We needed to put up a bar to stablize the shelves. Unfortunately it was too long so we needed it cut. Someone said we could get it cut there. Apparently not. But we could just use a hacksaw the other guy said. Now this is embarassing. I wasn't sure what kind of saw was a hacksaw. Luckily, either did the wife and she asked the guy saving me from my humiliation.

Home Depot just makes me uncomfortable. All this stuff and no idea how to use any of it. Guys working there speaking English to me but using words that I have no clue about. Everybody just assume I know stuff that I don't. And when I go with my wife they always look at me when they explain things. Uhhhh, don't look at me buddy.

Same thing goes with cars. I don't have a freaking clue what anything under the hood is except the windsheild washer fluid place and the oil stick thing. I'll meet guys and they start talking all this car talk and I'm lost. Inevitably after it becomes blatantly obvious I am zoning, they go to the "tits and ass" talk. Ok, I can participate in that, but it just doesn't feel right. I love those qualities in woman but there is a line. Respect maybe.

So anyway, today was a day of inadequacy for me. Maybe tomorrow when I'm on the couch watching the NFL playoffs and eating too many potato chips and longing for an ice cold beer, admiring the looks of the women in the commercials I will feel like more of a "man."