Hanzel und Gretyl

I don't claim or aspire to be a metalhead, but I do enjoy a good metal show when a good one comes around and last night one did.

Back in the mid-90's when I attended Ohio State, I lived with several guys that I still consider good friends of mine. We would listen to a number a great metal bands from Ministry to Tool to Metallica to a number of other bands I had never heard of and still rarely do. But their tastes were always reliable.

Back in college, I joined these friends of mine to attend a show (whose headliner shall remain nameless due to the shame that exists in my head for ever seeing them...twice) and I witnessed firsthand, for the first time the epic performance of Hanzel und Gretyl. They opened for this anonymous band and were well worth the price of admission on their own. They can be categorized as industrial metal with the futuristic machine, post apocalyptic style they feature and can be credited for opening the door for similar sounding Rammstein, a German metal band that found some modest popularity in the US during the late 90s. But don't be fooled by their German lyrics and references....they are straight outta New York.

Since that unbelieveable show I have continued to listen to their stuff when I could. Not being the metalhead most of their fans are, my listening would come and go in spurts.

Last night I finally had an opportunity to see them again at Skully's in Columbus, Ohio. It may have been 12 years or so since they kicked Newport's ass, but they haven't lost an ounce of the pure, intense, ear splitting, German rage metal they demonstrated in the 90s.


This video's audio isn't exactly synced up right but it accurately shows what they looked like. Obviously the sound is better live than over a videophone or whatever took this clip.

They opened with "Number 1 in Deutschland" and never paused. Straight through "Loud and Proud" to "Fukken Uber Death Party" as an encore, they had the crowd in a frenzy pulling people up to the stage to join in the rock. It was a good hour or so of straight up metal. Kaizer Von Loopy in his WW2 style helmet with a skull on the front and winged creature on top rocked out pulling all the standard rock star moves stage diving and getting floated atop the crowd, drinking shots and beers from the audience and discarding the bottles aimlessly and carelessly. Meanwhile Vas Kallas, who we estimated at 45-50 years old by now due to her work in Cylce Sluts From Hell in the early 80s, pumped her roaring, deep death vocals that would make most men's voices sound like a kitten's meow.

My ears continue to ring but it was well worth it. I haven't experienced a great metal show like that in a long time. I may have stuck out like a sore thumb in the midst of all the chain clad metalheads with black t-shirts covered with over the top offensive language and white face paint traced with black eye liner and lipstick, but I bet I enjoyed the show as much.

Well, maybe almost as much. I wasn't riding high on the stuff that most of them probably were on, but my point is:

AAAARRRRRRWWWWWWWWWGGGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!!!