Saturday, January 5, 2008

Me and my lack of manliness

As I have progressed through my life I have come to the conclusion I am just not much of a man's man. Most of the time I am ok with it. I even take pride in it at times. Other times I feel inadequate. I have voiced this to my wife on numerous occasions. Ironically, she feels quite the opposite saying that I am "just a typical guy" and most of our disagreements are results of the fact that I am stereotypical man she is a stereotypical woman. You know, battle of the sexes thing.

Well, today she witnessed just what I mean. We are working on the house to improve it. Why now? Well despite living here for 6 years I have done nothing to the house. It needs alot of TLC as they say. Getting my point yet?

Today we did the simple project of putting shelving in the closet to turn it into a much needed pantry. Nothing to it right? Not when Huey is on the case. Anything remotely requiring the manly skill of using tools and building stuff or putting stuff together is a laborious pain in the...

We had to use these things called Mollies. Huh? The lady at Home Depot told us how to use them and I obviously didn't understand as I struggled through the entire afternoon with them. We needed to put up a bar to stablize the shelves. Unfortunately it was too long so we needed it cut. Someone said we could get it cut there. Apparently not. But we could just use a hacksaw the other guy said. Now this is embarassing. I wasn't sure what kind of saw was a hacksaw. Luckily, either did the wife and she asked the guy saving me from my humiliation.

Home Depot just makes me uncomfortable. All this stuff and no idea how to use any of it. Guys working there speaking English to me but using words that I have no clue about. Everybody just assume I know stuff that I don't. And when I go with my wife they always look at me when they explain things. Uhhhh, don't look at me buddy.

Same thing goes with cars. I don't have a freaking clue what anything under the hood is except the windsheild washer fluid place and the oil stick thing. I'll meet guys and they start talking all this car talk and I'm lost. Inevitably after it becomes blatantly obvious I am zoning, they go to the "tits and ass" talk. Ok, I can participate in that, but it just doesn't feel right. I love those qualities in woman but there is a line. Respect maybe.

So anyway, today was a day of inadequacy for me. Maybe tomorrow when I'm on the couch watching the NFL playoffs and eating too many potato chips and longing for an ice cold beer, admiring the looks of the women in the commercials I will feel like more of a "man."

2 comments:

Sven said...

As a former employee of Home dePOT, I hereby authorize you to call me whenever you need help with a home improvement project (I could probably even help you use the pneumatic shelf cutter at the store)

Huey said...

Haha much needed.