I recently heard some awesome news that a good friend of mine and his wife are having their first baby! My brother and sister-in-law had twins recently. Another good friend just had a second daughter. The list goes on but my point is that all of these new children got me thinking about fatherhood. So I am sharing my thoughts with you.
I thought of manhood and how we define being a "man." It seems as though the first things that come to mind are attributes of physical and emotional strength. The more muscular you are, the more of a man you are. The tougher you are, the more macho you are. The more emotional pain you can endure without crying makes you more manly. Going out and making a living to support your family and put bread on the table defines your success as a man. These are all legitimate characteristics of being a man. I am not writing this blog to discount the traditional definition of man.
The reason I am writing this blog is to shine a light on another aspect of being a real man....Fatherhood. The word "Father" is so empowering. The strength of "father" is intense. While "daddy" tears at your heartstrings, father's connotation is very powerful.
It means providing for your family in the way you are able to depending on your specific situation. It means listening to your child. Knowing your child and what makes them tick. Loving them unconditionally. Giving and giving. Turning on the discipline when needed and letting go when the time calls for it. Putting your kid before yourself. Changing your lifestyle, if needed, for the good of your child. Putting high value on education. Being a positive role model. Instilling a caring and loving sense of being in your kid. Hugging and kissing and patting on the back and rubbing the top of their head. Watching your language. Explaining yourself. Letting go and being the better person. Biting your tongue and not saying what you really, really want to say. PATIENCE! Reading lots of medical stuff you hardly understand, trying to find answers or help with health conditions that arise. Consistency. Doctors appointments. Meetings with teachers. Bugging people for answers. Following through on things that you may have been lazy with when it was just you. Cleaning up. Being a good partner or husband. Surrounding yourself and your child with good people. Not being afraid to say, "HELP!" Listening to trusted people's advice even if your ego makes it difficult.
I know I could go on. Some of these things may have been personal to me or you may disagree with some or add others. Feel free to do so. I know a couple of things:
1) Father is not easy
2) Father is humility
3) Father is the perfect example of gaining by giving
4) Father is worth it
I do realize this could have been entitled, "Parenthood." But within the definition of manhood, maybe on the top of the list, I wanted to add these things.
3 comments:
I think you forgot "nurturer" (unless it was implied in your other descriptions). Just as the mother can be as much (if not more) of a provider as the father, a father can nurture his child. Thanks for sharing.
Amen! I was intending to imply it and thought to flat out say it but I wanted to stay focused and avoid going off on a tangent regarding traditional parenting roles.
Congrats! More to come in my email.
Beau, you do all these things with excellence and heart.
I'm not surprised - you had (have) an incredible role model in your own dad.
You and Ally are both blessed. :)
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