2008 is coming to a close. Naturally we look ahead to 2009. I look ahead to a year of growth. I don't want to get caught up in "New Year's Resolutions" that are destined to fail and make me feel like a failure. But I have several things we can call goals that I would like to set and work on. Last year I said I wanted to read more. I didn't set an amount or a regiment, I just wanted to make a generalized effort to read more. I did. I plan to do the same this year with these 5 goals.
1)Drink more water..... I don't have a set amount or schedule set up for this. I just want to drink more water. I have already incorporated this and it has led to multiple restroom visits in the middle of the night so I need to modify it a bit. For instance, I should keep most of the water consumption earlier in the day.
2)Quit agreeing with my brother....Prior to this season for the Cavs, we both concurred that the Cavs season could go the way of Daniel "Boobie" Gibson. We felt as though he brought energy and shoots well from long range which would stretch defenses. So far this year, Boobie has stunk it up but the Cavs have dominated and none of it has anything to do with Gibson at all. He has been a non factor. We were dead wrong. So no more crazy predictions from me the bro.
3)Be more positive......yeah, right. I say this every two months and never follow through. See? There's that old reliable negative thinking of mine. There's a couple things in the world you can count on...Cleveland sports choking or self-destructing and my negativity. But we are going to try this again. I am going to try to be more positive.
4)Say No....I plan to work on saying no more often and standing up for myself respectfully. I have plenty of anger to work on. I want to take it out on others. But I would like to do that in a calm, reasonable manner. I don't plan to insult and fight people, but I plan to say something when they bother me.
5)Exercise again....I had a good rhythm going earlier this year and stopped after we packed up the treadmill. With the sale of the house on hold, I plan to get back into the regular exercise routine.
So these are my 5 goals. They may change. They may not be accomplished. But they will give me direction to grow in 2009.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
2008 In Review....Part 2
SUMMER
The summer began with much expectation. The time off for my wife and I was dearly needed. The warm weather was going to help with all of the life changes we were about to make. I managed to make it out with some friends to check out Hanzel Und Gretyl at Skully's in Columbus, Ohio. It was a the first time in about a decade that I was able to see them live. The show was awesome and I loved every minute of it.
Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate played an extremely entertaining and exciting U.S. Open solidifying my interest in golf.....as long as Tiger is playing. The Indians played through a lackluster season continuing my expectations of the descent of my teams from a stellar yet championshipless 2007. I continued through mediocre seasons in softball although my play was far below mediocre. The Celtics won the NBA Title adding to my anger towards Boston fan. But the Cavs signed a key free agent in the offseason in Mo Williams who would fill a dying need. Also, Ferry managed to work his magic in the draft to get a couple of key big men that show a lot of promise if they can develop enough in time.
My family dealt with a tragedy and I blogged about the grieving I went through. I was able to move on and grow from the experience but the effects of that event are still manifesting themselves in subtle actions and much of my thinking. While I repeat the steps that led to that horrific experience, I can't help but fall back to those feelings and deal with much of the fear and paranoia that is still present as a result.
With the residue of that experience still around, my wife and I put one foot in front of the other (actually two feet since there was two of us) and tried to celebrate our first anniversary with a trip to West Virginia. It was a nice little trip together where we enjoyed some couple time. We also decided it was time to really push to get the house ready for the market and move into a house that would truly be ours. We felt like we were still living in the past with the current house. So we began the process of fixing the countless little problems with the house and trying to improve the look. I almost lost my mind due to frustration from my lack of Mr. Fix-it skills.
In between the the home improvements I made a trip out to Evanston with my dad to help move my brother's family from one apartment to another. It was a cool weekend to share with the men of my immediate family moving furniture, eating some good barb-b-que and sampling the campus hang outs. Doug was able to show us around and let us peek into his life a little bit.
Just as we put the house on the market and witnessed the cats' stubborn resistance to all the change, I left for Las Vegas to celebrate my good friend's upcoming marriage. I left for Los Angeles to meet two other good friends who also were contributing to the Vegas bachelor party and began a week of good times with good people creating memories that we will relive for a long time.
When I returned, it was back to the grind. School was ready to begin the house was on the market. Football season was ready to start and I finished my first year in a new fantasy baseball league in a very respectable second place. The school routine was back up and running. At the same time the presidential election was heating up and I began to blog more and more about my political views and my hopes for the future.
AUTUMN
Ohio State lost in embarrassing fashion to a superior USC team. It reinforced my fears that OSU was overrated and over hyped. There was very little if anything to realistically take from the game as positive. The weak schedule only gave Penn State as an opportunity to redeem our reputation but while that game was hard fought and showed some glimpse of hope, we lost that one too and went on to beat teams we should be including bitter rival, Michigan who had one of their worst seasons ever under new coach Rich Rodriquez.
The Browns looked absolutely horrible and quit more often than not. They mailed in the last 1/3 of the season after it was obviously a lost cause. "Romeo must go," I kept saying before the season. 2007 was fool's gold in more ways than one and was probably a really bad thing. 2008 proved me right.
The Cavs on the other hand came out guns blazin'! Since you don't win NBA titles in December, the 25-4 start means absolutely NOTHING!!!! It is a good sign. It has been fun to watch. But it will be interesting to see if they maintain such a rate of success.
I was able to take a trip out to Evanston, Illinois again. This time it was to watch my Ohio State Buckeyes dominate a solid Northwestern team. It was cold. Oh so cold. But it was a fun weekend with my brother and his wife's family. Anytime I can catch the Buckeyes on the road and knock out another Big Ten stadium, I am happy.
My wife and sister-in-law and I ventured out to see Trent Reznor, better known as Nine Inch Nails, play a show in Columbus. The visual effects were outstanding. He had an interactive screen at times behind him and at other times in front of him. It was pretty cool and creative. He played an ok set. There was a bit much of his instrumental slow stuff but he doesn't seem to be as angry as he once was. I guess money will do that for you right?
Obama was elected president of the United States promising change and giving hope of unity and improved pride in ourselves and country. In the end it will be up to us to make any effective changes. My hope has been that Obama will be charismatic enough to lead the change and motivate us to make the right kind of changes. But as I obsess over 2012 and armageddon, I worry that Obama may be the antichrist. I have problems.
Basically, this is where I stand right now. 2008 wasn't my best years. I still think it wasn't my worst either. I have a lot of changes I need to make in the way I behave and think. I am working on that. What happened in 2008 has led me to these things. So maybe 2008, while being difficult at the time, will prove to be a year that led to better things and much needed growth.
The summer began with much expectation. The time off for my wife and I was dearly needed. The warm weather was going to help with all of the life changes we were about to make. I managed to make it out with some friends to check out Hanzel Und Gretyl at Skully's in Columbus, Ohio. It was a the first time in about a decade that I was able to see them live. The show was awesome and I loved every minute of it.
Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate played an extremely entertaining and exciting U.S. Open solidifying my interest in golf.....as long as Tiger is playing. The Indians played through a lackluster season continuing my expectations of the descent of my teams from a stellar yet championshipless 2007. I continued through mediocre seasons in softball although my play was far below mediocre. The Celtics won the NBA Title adding to my anger towards Boston fan. But the Cavs signed a key free agent in the offseason in Mo Williams who would fill a dying need. Also, Ferry managed to work his magic in the draft to get a couple of key big men that show a lot of promise if they can develop enough in time.
My family dealt with a tragedy and I blogged about the grieving I went through. I was able to move on and grow from the experience but the effects of that event are still manifesting themselves in subtle actions and much of my thinking. While I repeat the steps that led to that horrific experience, I can't help but fall back to those feelings and deal with much of the fear and paranoia that is still present as a result.
With the residue of that experience still around, my wife and I put one foot in front of the other (actually two feet since there was two of us) and tried to celebrate our first anniversary with a trip to West Virginia. It was a nice little trip together where we enjoyed some couple time. We also decided it was time to really push to get the house ready for the market and move into a house that would truly be ours. We felt like we were still living in the past with the current house. So we began the process of fixing the countless little problems with the house and trying to improve the look. I almost lost my mind due to frustration from my lack of Mr. Fix-it skills.
In between the the home improvements I made a trip out to Evanston with my dad to help move my brother's family from one apartment to another. It was a cool weekend to share with the men of my immediate family moving furniture, eating some good barb-b-que and sampling the campus hang outs. Doug was able to show us around and let us peek into his life a little bit.
Just as we put the house on the market and witnessed the cats' stubborn resistance to all the change, I left for Las Vegas to celebrate my good friend's upcoming marriage. I left for Los Angeles to meet two other good friends who also were contributing to the Vegas bachelor party and began a week of good times with good people creating memories that we will relive for a long time.
When I returned, it was back to the grind. School was ready to begin the house was on the market. Football season was ready to start and I finished my first year in a new fantasy baseball league in a very respectable second place. The school routine was back up and running. At the same time the presidential election was heating up and I began to blog more and more about my political views and my hopes for the future.
AUTUMN
Ohio State lost in embarrassing fashion to a superior USC team. It reinforced my fears that OSU was overrated and over hyped. There was very little if anything to realistically take from the game as positive. The weak schedule only gave Penn State as an opportunity to redeem our reputation but while that game was hard fought and showed some glimpse of hope, we lost that one too and went on to beat teams we should be including bitter rival, Michigan who had one of their worst seasons ever under new coach Rich Rodriquez.
The Browns looked absolutely horrible and quit more often than not. They mailed in the last 1/3 of the season after it was obviously a lost cause. "Romeo must go," I kept saying before the season. 2007 was fool's gold in more ways than one and was probably a really bad thing. 2008 proved me right.
The Cavs on the other hand came out guns blazin'! Since you don't win NBA titles in December, the 25-4 start means absolutely NOTHING!!!! It is a good sign. It has been fun to watch. But it will be interesting to see if they maintain such a rate of success.
I was able to take a trip out to Evanston, Illinois again. This time it was to watch my Ohio State Buckeyes dominate a solid Northwestern team. It was cold. Oh so cold. But it was a fun weekend with my brother and his wife's family. Anytime I can catch the Buckeyes on the road and knock out another Big Ten stadium, I am happy.
My wife and sister-in-law and I ventured out to see Trent Reznor, better known as Nine Inch Nails, play a show in Columbus. The visual effects were outstanding. He had an interactive screen at times behind him and at other times in front of him. It was pretty cool and creative. He played an ok set. There was a bit much of his instrumental slow stuff but he doesn't seem to be as angry as he once was. I guess money will do that for you right?
Obama was elected president of the United States promising change and giving hope of unity and improved pride in ourselves and country. In the end it will be up to us to make any effective changes. My hope has been that Obama will be charismatic enough to lead the change and motivate us to make the right kind of changes. But as I obsess over 2012 and armageddon, I worry that Obama may be the antichrist. I have problems.
Basically, this is where I stand right now. 2008 wasn't my best years. I still think it wasn't my worst either. I have a lot of changes I need to make in the way I behave and think. I am working on that. What happened in 2008 has led me to these things. So maybe 2008, while being difficult at the time, will prove to be a year that led to better things and much needed growth.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Year In Review 2008...Part One
As we wrap up another year, I am taking some time to reflect on the happenings on both a macro and micro scale. There were historic events we all experienced together and there were some personal occurrences that shaped who I am individually. There was the good, the bad and the ugly. Hopefully, I can accurately review them here.
WINTER
I began 2008 with the genesis of this blog. I played around with the blog section of my myspace profile prior to 2008. After following my buddy's blogs a bit and following the encouragement and lead of my sister-in-law who also entered the blogosphere, I began this enjoyable experience of sharing what goes on in my head. While I used Comoprozac's Living in Misery and my sister-in-law's DailyLiving (now Nurturing Self) as models, I wanted to keep this true to myself and my personality. I enjoy variety so I have intended to keep my topics on this blog varied. It is focused and may seem to be all over the place, but I am very pleased with what I have done here. I have thoroughly enjoyed the conversations generated through this blog without having to bother people with mass email threads.
I began with numerous philosophical observations and views but it didn't take long for me to voice my opinion on my true passion: sports. January began with my beloved Ohio State Football Buckeyes losing another BCS Title Game to an SEC team in embarrassing fashion. Chants of "overrated" rang across the nation. But that's ok. We had a ton of returning seniors and a match up with USC in the beginning of the year to shut everybody up. Sigh.
Fresh off that depressing loss, I felt the realization of opportunity lost. My teams has just finished an exciting 2007 with no championships to show for it. The Buckeyes has two title appearances in the span of a calendar year for football. The men's cagers were in the championship. The women's basketball team had success, the men's soccer team was in the final four. The Columbus Destroyers were in the Arena Bowl. The Cleveland Indians were one game away from the World Series. Even the Cleveland Browns were a smoke and mirrors 10-6. The Cleveland Cavaliers were in the NBA Finals.
But no trophies or rings.
So I figured 2008 would mark the beginning of the descent. The Browns followed through on their part. So did the Destroyers and Indians. The Buckeyes were able to get the men's basketball team a NIT Title (which means 66th place) and the football team into another BCS game (the Fiesta Bowl surprise, surprise) but both are considered disappointing in Columbus. We have set higher standards. But the Cavaliers are ending 2008 with real evidence that their descent may only be a dip before the rise. We still have too much season ahead to make any claims of success and a band of Celtics in the way.
But my blog began with more than opinions on my sports interests. I spent much of the early posts reflecting on my stances and thoughts on my spirituality and different moral topics. I used this venue as an arena to work on myself and express my thoughts in an effort to initiate discussion and acquire varying points of view to shape and reshape my own. It has definitely been a success as I continue to develop my ideas of the metaphysical.
The winter months brought plenty of snow days which was a joy. I thought about how Exxon made record profits in the earlier year and how Snoop Dogg was suddenly appearing on Larry King to discuss topics so far removed from what made him famous. He would speak of pimpin', using and selling drugs and glorified the trashy treatment of women to sell millions of dollars worth of records. Now he is speaking to Larry King about fatherhood and politics and what not. Meanwhile, gas prices continued to skyrocket and lead these oil companies like Exxon to record profits. But that was just the beginning of the frustration we would feel in regards to the economy in this country.
SPRING
Spring brought The Master's, March Madness, Spring Training and Opening day, The NFL Draft, a big Cavs trade with a run at the playoffs, an NIT championship, and improvement in the weather. The Cavs made a monster trade ridding themselves of Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes et al to acquire Delonte (Delmonte Best) West, Wally Szczerbiak, (Big) Ben Wallace, and Joe (Hard Hat) Smith. The major component of this trade was the expiring contracts of the new guys along with the potential of West. Plus, it was nice to get rid of the inconsistency that Gooden and Laura Hughes brought to the table. After the season ended and I began to look towards the future, I was well aware that any number of those four would be gone sooner than later but I was curious how things would have been or could be if that group had a whole season to build chemistry and find their role on the team. More on this later.
I also took a trip to Chicago to visit my brother and sister-in-law and nephews. My brother and I headed downtown to the United Center to check out our Cleveland Cavaliers as they lost a game to the Chicago Bulls. Despite the loss, it was a good time. We took a couple shots outside before the game to win some prizes.
I was also able to get some one on two time with the nephews allowing the parents some time to go shopping for the boys. I may have father experience but not with twins. PHEW! God bless them! But it was very cool. I look forward to more chances in the future to hang out with the EZ brothers.
My wife and I settled into her pregnancy. And looked forward to ending another school year. The push for the OAT hit full speed and our students made their way through another standardized test that would ultimately determine our success as teachers. Once again, they failed miserably. My grade level managed to make gains yet again (every year since 2004), but not enough to make AYP or average yearly progress requirements set by the Bush administration within No Child Left Behind to rid ourselves of the "YOUR TEACHER SUCKS" label. So despite our efforts and stress, we both ended the 2007-2008 as bad teachers, failures of teachers.
Nice. I love this job.
Softball began and I thought I would share my progress with you all but quickly decided to pass on that as I stunk it up. I was never able to get it going in either league I played in. Unfortunately, my Westerville team had much of the same problem as a whole. Our bats were silent throughout most of the season. In Hilliard, we were much more competitive despite a move to a tougher league. We managed to stay .500 and snuck in the playoffs just to go out in the first round....again. But playing in two leagues was fun. I hope to do it again.
May brought the passing of my grandmother. She was ready to go. The time was right. She lived a long, fruitful life. While it was hard to say goodbye, I felt very good about my time with her. I looked back on my dad's trip to Europe with my brother and sister for his birthday two years earlier. During that time I spent a good bit of time with my grandmother. I would check in for my dad since he couldn't. I was able to take my daughter a couple times as well. This was a very valuable time for me because I knew it was my chance to "say goodbye" without the sadness of really watching her leave. At the time of her death, I drew on this experience to help me say goodbye. It still hurt, but I think I was able to avoid any feelings of disappointment or opportunity lost.
The day I heard of her death I was in the middle of negotiating my neighbors' acquisition of my garden bricks with tears pouring from my eyes. I quickly packed up my car and drove up to my dad's house to be with him for the initial grieving. Part of my trip was for him, but most of it was for me. I recalled my divorce when he came down and said he would be there to do whatever I wanted to feel better whether it was drink as much beer as I wanted and have him drive me home or just peak in on my daughter at school and take her trick or treating. We chose the trick or treating. I thought I would do the same for him this time.
So we made our way to the nearest local bar for some comfort food and foreign beers. We made it home long before last call but spent the night reliving our time with and memories of B, my grandmother. We looked at old pictures, we read her numerous works of literature and poetry. We sang, listened to music, laughed, cried and made our way across the whole spectrum of emotion. I think it was good for both of us.
The trip to Alabama was sad as we mourned the loss of B, but comforting as we were able to see the places of her early life and spend time with family we hadn't seen for a long time and sadly may never see again. We were able to get a true peak into her life before we came along. We also met people who had so much admiration for my grandmother. So many people showed up and paid their respects to this articulate, funny, energetic, kind, warm, intellectual and strong, independent woman at a time that was hard for women to be so. The trip was a bonding experience for me with my father, sister, brother, uncle Paul and Aunt Gina. It also gave some satisfaction towards that part of my life. I first thought to write closure, but that wouldn't be accurate. Alabama and my heritage will always be a part of me. I would like to keep Alabama safely in a place in my heart.
I will review more of 2008 in my next post.
WINTER
I began 2008 with the genesis of this blog. I played around with the blog section of my myspace profile prior to 2008. After following my buddy's blogs a bit and following the encouragement and lead of my sister-in-law who also entered the blogosphere, I began this enjoyable experience of sharing what goes on in my head. While I used Comoprozac's Living in Misery and my sister-in-law's DailyLiving (now Nurturing Self) as models, I wanted to keep this true to myself and my personality. I enjoy variety so I have intended to keep my topics on this blog varied. It is focused and may seem to be all over the place, but I am very pleased with what I have done here. I have thoroughly enjoyed the conversations generated through this blog without having to bother people with mass email threads.
I began with numerous philosophical observations and views but it didn't take long for me to voice my opinion on my true passion: sports. January began with my beloved Ohio State Football Buckeyes losing another BCS Title Game to an SEC team in embarrassing fashion. Chants of "overrated" rang across the nation. But that's ok. We had a ton of returning seniors and a match up with USC in the beginning of the year to shut everybody up. Sigh.
Fresh off that depressing loss, I felt the realization of opportunity lost. My teams has just finished an exciting 2007 with no championships to show for it. The Buckeyes has two title appearances in the span of a calendar year for football. The men's cagers were in the championship. The women's basketball team had success, the men's soccer team was in the final four. The Columbus Destroyers were in the Arena Bowl. The Cleveland Indians were one game away from the World Series. Even the Cleveland Browns were a smoke and mirrors 10-6. The Cleveland Cavaliers were in the NBA Finals.
But no trophies or rings.
So I figured 2008 would mark the beginning of the descent. The Browns followed through on their part. So did the Destroyers and Indians. The Buckeyes were able to get the men's basketball team a NIT Title (which means 66th place) and the football team into another BCS game (the Fiesta Bowl surprise, surprise) but both are considered disappointing in Columbus. We have set higher standards. But the Cavaliers are ending 2008 with real evidence that their descent may only be a dip before the rise. We still have too much season ahead to make any claims of success and a band of Celtics in the way.
But my blog began with more than opinions on my sports interests. I spent much of the early posts reflecting on my stances and thoughts on my spirituality and different moral topics. I used this venue as an arena to work on myself and express my thoughts in an effort to initiate discussion and acquire varying points of view to shape and reshape my own. It has definitely been a success as I continue to develop my ideas of the metaphysical.
The winter months brought plenty of snow days which was a joy. I thought about how Exxon made record profits in the earlier year and how Snoop Dogg was suddenly appearing on Larry King to discuss topics so far removed from what made him famous. He would speak of pimpin', using and selling drugs and glorified the trashy treatment of women to sell millions of dollars worth of records. Now he is speaking to Larry King about fatherhood and politics and what not. Meanwhile, gas prices continued to skyrocket and lead these oil companies like Exxon to record profits. But that was just the beginning of the frustration we would feel in regards to the economy in this country.
SPRING
Spring brought The Master's, March Madness, Spring Training and Opening day, The NFL Draft, a big Cavs trade with a run at the playoffs, an NIT championship, and improvement in the weather. The Cavs made a monster trade ridding themselves of Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes et al to acquire Delonte (Delmonte Best) West, Wally Szczerbiak, (Big) Ben Wallace, and Joe (Hard Hat) Smith. The major component of this trade was the expiring contracts of the new guys along with the potential of West. Plus, it was nice to get rid of the inconsistency that Gooden and Laura Hughes brought to the table. After the season ended and I began to look towards the future, I was well aware that any number of those four would be gone sooner than later but I was curious how things would have been or could be if that group had a whole season to build chemistry and find their role on the team. More on this later.
I also took a trip to Chicago to visit my brother and sister-in-law and nephews. My brother and I headed downtown to the United Center to check out our Cleveland Cavaliers as they lost a game to the Chicago Bulls. Despite the loss, it was a good time. We took a couple shots outside before the game to win some prizes.
I was also able to get some one on two time with the nephews allowing the parents some time to go shopping for the boys. I may have father experience but not with twins. PHEW! God bless them! But it was very cool. I look forward to more chances in the future to hang out with the EZ brothers.
My wife and I settled into her pregnancy. And looked forward to ending another school year. The push for the OAT hit full speed and our students made their way through another standardized test that would ultimately determine our success as teachers. Once again, they failed miserably. My grade level managed to make gains yet again (every year since 2004), but not enough to make AYP or average yearly progress requirements set by the Bush administration within No Child Left Behind to rid ourselves of the "YOUR TEACHER SUCKS" label. So despite our efforts and stress, we both ended the 2007-2008 as bad teachers, failures of teachers.
Nice. I love this job.
Softball began and I thought I would share my progress with you all but quickly decided to pass on that as I stunk it up. I was never able to get it going in either league I played in. Unfortunately, my Westerville team had much of the same problem as a whole. Our bats were silent throughout most of the season. In Hilliard, we were much more competitive despite a move to a tougher league. We managed to stay .500 and snuck in the playoffs just to go out in the first round....again. But playing in two leagues was fun. I hope to do it again.
May brought the passing of my grandmother. She was ready to go. The time was right. She lived a long, fruitful life. While it was hard to say goodbye, I felt very good about my time with her. I looked back on my dad's trip to Europe with my brother and sister for his birthday two years earlier. During that time I spent a good bit of time with my grandmother. I would check in for my dad since he couldn't. I was able to take my daughter a couple times as well. This was a very valuable time for me because I knew it was my chance to "say goodbye" without the sadness of really watching her leave. At the time of her death, I drew on this experience to help me say goodbye. It still hurt, but I think I was able to avoid any feelings of disappointment or opportunity lost.
The day I heard of her death I was in the middle of negotiating my neighbors' acquisition of my garden bricks with tears pouring from my eyes. I quickly packed up my car and drove up to my dad's house to be with him for the initial grieving. Part of my trip was for him, but most of it was for me. I recalled my divorce when he came down and said he would be there to do whatever I wanted to feel better whether it was drink as much beer as I wanted and have him drive me home or just peak in on my daughter at school and take her trick or treating. We chose the trick or treating. I thought I would do the same for him this time.
So we made our way to the nearest local bar for some comfort food and foreign beers. We made it home long before last call but spent the night reliving our time with and memories of B, my grandmother. We looked at old pictures, we read her numerous works of literature and poetry. We sang, listened to music, laughed, cried and made our way across the whole spectrum of emotion. I think it was good for both of us.
The trip to Alabama was sad as we mourned the loss of B, but comforting as we were able to see the places of her early life and spend time with family we hadn't seen for a long time and sadly may never see again. We were able to get a true peak into her life before we came along. We also met people who had so much admiration for my grandmother. So many people showed up and paid their respects to this articulate, funny, energetic, kind, warm, intellectual and strong, independent woman at a time that was hard for women to be so. The trip was a bonding experience for me with my father, sister, brother, uncle Paul and Aunt Gina. It also gave some satisfaction towards that part of my life. I first thought to write closure, but that wouldn't be accurate. Alabama and my heritage will always be a part of me. I would like to keep Alabama safely in a place in my heart.
I will review more of 2008 in my next post.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Strike One to Obama
I voted for Barack Obama. I do not regret that vote. But I do regret falling for the hope that he was going to back up what he stated in his campaign. Apparently he is no different than every other politician. I kinda knew it but didn't want to believe it.
Now I realize there are a number of seriously intricate and monumental problems he is facing. I am aware that he will not be able to follow through on all his claims. But a major reason I voted for him was his consistent message of unity. I bought into his proclamations that he would truly bring this country together regardless of party lines, race, socioeconomic status, physical abilities, gender, age, sexual preference and so on.
I find out today he chose a speaker for his inauguration who is hard core anti-gay. This minister is known for saying hateful things towards homosexuals. He preaches fear. From what I hear (I need to clarify I have not heard this person preach directly), he represents everything I dislike about religion. He reinforces my problems with the Bible. This kind of person is what pushes me away from God in the Christian sense. Now my president is calling on him to speak at his inauguration.
I think we have been down this road once before with his UCC minister who also spoke with hateful words. I didn't seem to care as much then so why do I care now? Good question. From my perspective this is the oppressor oppressing versus the oppressed fighting back. While I may disagree with the message of Reverend Wright at face value, I can almost tolerate the oppressed fighting back angle. Sometimes there is no other way to get out of oppression. But when it is the oppressor furthering their oppression as is the anti-gay message from Warren, I can't find justification to my liking.
This opinion reminds me of Malcolm X's, "by any means necessary." But I have felt the peaceful methods of Dr. King would be more successful and preferable than the more threatening methods of Malcolm X or Huey P. Newton and the Black Panthers. So I find myself contradicting myself here. I guess my point is I can understand the views of those civil rights groups that came from a more angry place than peaceful.
But I have a sore spot for this anti-gay thing. I think it is the most ridiculous and obvious breech of civil rights today and the lack of commitment by us as a nation to fix it blows my mind. The rationalizations for its defense bother me the most. I think that is where my sore spot is centered. It is tied into my disenchantment with Christianity, the Bible and religion in general. We continue to use the Bible to justify hate and discrimination. We ignore the important things the Bible tries to convey like avoiding power and greed.
So here I sit thinking about the symbolism of this selection. It contradicts an important aspect of my confidence in Obama. He isn't proving his words of unification. I also reflect on Obama's support of charter schools and vouchers and even though I knew this before and chose to overlook it, I am getting irritated.
This is still better than McCain't, but I am anticipating strike three. I am not optimistic. It is a curve ball and I was never able to hit those.
Now I realize there are a number of seriously intricate and monumental problems he is facing. I am aware that he will not be able to follow through on all his claims. But a major reason I voted for him was his consistent message of unity. I bought into his proclamations that he would truly bring this country together regardless of party lines, race, socioeconomic status, physical abilities, gender, age, sexual preference and so on.
I find out today he chose a speaker for his inauguration who is hard core anti-gay. This minister is known for saying hateful things towards homosexuals. He preaches fear. From what I hear (I need to clarify I have not heard this person preach directly), he represents everything I dislike about religion. He reinforces my problems with the Bible. This kind of person is what pushes me away from God in the Christian sense. Now my president is calling on him to speak at his inauguration.
I think we have been down this road once before with his UCC minister who also spoke with hateful words. I didn't seem to care as much then so why do I care now? Good question. From my perspective this is the oppressor oppressing versus the oppressed fighting back. While I may disagree with the message of Reverend Wright at face value, I can almost tolerate the oppressed fighting back angle. Sometimes there is no other way to get out of oppression. But when it is the oppressor furthering their oppression as is the anti-gay message from Warren, I can't find justification to my liking.
This opinion reminds me of Malcolm X's, "by any means necessary." But I have felt the peaceful methods of Dr. King would be more successful and preferable than the more threatening methods of Malcolm X or Huey P. Newton and the Black Panthers. So I find myself contradicting myself here. I guess my point is I can understand the views of those civil rights groups that came from a more angry place than peaceful.
But I have a sore spot for this anti-gay thing. I think it is the most ridiculous and obvious breech of civil rights today and the lack of commitment by us as a nation to fix it blows my mind. The rationalizations for its defense bother me the most. I think that is where my sore spot is centered. It is tied into my disenchantment with Christianity, the Bible and religion in general. We continue to use the Bible to justify hate and discrimination. We ignore the important things the Bible tries to convey like avoiding power and greed.
So here I sit thinking about the symbolism of this selection. It contradicts an important aspect of my confidence in Obama. He isn't proving his words of unification. I also reflect on Obama's support of charter schools and vouchers and even though I knew this before and chose to overlook it, I am getting irritated.
This is still better than McCain't, but I am anticipating strike three. I am not optimistic. It is a curve ball and I was never able to hit those.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
What My Daughter's Birthday Will Always Mean To Me
Seven years ago my daughter officially entered my life. It was 9:45 I believe. The instant foreshadowing went unnoticed at the time. The realization that my life was not going to be the same was completely noticed though. I spent 40 weeks and several days planning and preparing myself for this moment and life change. I have numerous regrets but I'd like to think I have fixed those mistakes or compensated for them in some way since her birth.
This post isn't about reliving my regrets and mistakes. It is about how much my daughter means to me and how much her life has changed mine as any child's changes their father. To be fair not all fathers change when their children are born. Some bolt and stubbornly refuse to change. That is an old post and probably a future one to come. Teachers like me get to pick up the pieces much of the time. But I digress.
The first moments of my daughter's life were marked with panic and worry and fear. When she was born she was "stunned." She needed to be revived. It is highly possible that this event led to many of the health and developmental problems we have encountered throughout her early life. I was "stunned" myself. Shock would be a better description. I don't remember being able to fully realize what was happening. This was the foreshadow of what was yet to come. Those scary moments of disbelief, confusion and helplessness would define 2003 and 2006.
Once the dust settled, I was able to hold her for the first time all by myself in the rocking chair, I still vividly recall the inability to take my eyes off her. It felt like the initial burst of excitement and joy when you receive the greatest gift you had ever been given after wanting it for so long. Every gift I ever received before would eventually lose its "newness" and fondness, but my daughter hasn't. To this day I still feel that giddy excitement and warmth when she is with me. I think parents can relate to what I am saying. This is something that is difficult to convey in a blog or with words.
Once you have a child your birthday becomes insignificant. My daughter's birthday shares hers with her grandfather on her mother's side. I recall how he brushed aside his birthday to keep the spotlight on her. Coming from my perspective, I have little excitement for my birthday. No urge to party. No need for gifts. The attention is nice but I don't feel any need to look for it. But when my kid's birthday draws near I find myself acting and anticipating it like I did my own growing up. This day is extremely important to me. I want her to enjoy the day and soak in the special attention every kid deserves. But I have personal stock in it as well. This day represents someone very special to me. It is a nice annual reminder of how much I care about her.
It refocuses my attention on how much I love hearing her say "daddy, wook." Or "watch me." I am reminded of all the things I don't do now because I have to be on the clock 24/7 for her. It reminds me of how glad I am to be on the clock. I can't imagine my life without her anymore.
I am blessed and lucky that she has entered my life. And while I am thankful for that everyday, I am extra thankful on her birthday.
Many friends and family have had children of their own recently. Some read this blog. I would love to hear how you guys feel about your kids' birthdays and how much you appreciate having them in your lives or what it is about them that you love so much. I know we could go on for a long time listing our favorite aspects of our kids, so maybe the BIG stuff.
This post isn't about reliving my regrets and mistakes. It is about how much my daughter means to me and how much her life has changed mine as any child's changes their father. To be fair not all fathers change when their children are born. Some bolt and stubbornly refuse to change. That is an old post and probably a future one to come. Teachers like me get to pick up the pieces much of the time. But I digress.
The first moments of my daughter's life were marked with panic and worry and fear. When she was born she was "stunned." She needed to be revived. It is highly possible that this event led to many of the health and developmental problems we have encountered throughout her early life. I was "stunned" myself. Shock would be a better description. I don't remember being able to fully realize what was happening. This was the foreshadow of what was yet to come. Those scary moments of disbelief, confusion and helplessness would define 2003 and 2006.
Once the dust settled, I was able to hold her for the first time all by myself in the rocking chair, I still vividly recall the inability to take my eyes off her. It felt like the initial burst of excitement and joy when you receive the greatest gift you had ever been given after wanting it for so long. Every gift I ever received before would eventually lose its "newness" and fondness, but my daughter hasn't. To this day I still feel that giddy excitement and warmth when she is with me. I think parents can relate to what I am saying. This is something that is difficult to convey in a blog or with words.
Once you have a child your birthday becomes insignificant. My daughter's birthday shares hers with her grandfather on her mother's side. I recall how he brushed aside his birthday to keep the spotlight on her. Coming from my perspective, I have little excitement for my birthday. No urge to party. No need for gifts. The attention is nice but I don't feel any need to look for it. But when my kid's birthday draws near I find myself acting and anticipating it like I did my own growing up. This day is extremely important to me. I want her to enjoy the day and soak in the special attention every kid deserves. But I have personal stock in it as well. This day represents someone very special to me. It is a nice annual reminder of how much I care about her.
It refocuses my attention on how much I love hearing her say "daddy, wook." Or "watch me." I am reminded of all the things I don't do now because I have to be on the clock 24/7 for her. It reminds me of how glad I am to be on the clock. I can't imagine my life without her anymore.
I am blessed and lucky that she has entered my life. And while I am thankful for that everyday, I am extra thankful on her birthday.
Many friends and family have had children of their own recently. Some read this blog. I would love to hear how you guys feel about your kids' birthdays and how much you appreciate having them in your lives or what it is about them that you love so much. I know we could go on for a long time listing our favorite aspects of our kids, so maybe the BIG stuff.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
An Ode To Mo
This is NOT a projection for the rest of the season. For the Karma record, I repeat, I AM NOT SAYING the Cavs will have a good season. By the time the season comes to a close I expect the Cavs to finish in the lower half of the playoff race and lose home court advantage. What I would like to do is discuss what has happened so far. I am just stating the observations I have made in regards to this team up to this point.
As of December 11, 2008 the Cavs are 19-3 and riding a 10 game win streak. They also have had an 8 game win streak this year. It is early. We have played many weak teams. The strong teams we have played have beaten us. So, why am I so excited?
I recall my post regarding my aspirations for the Cavs' postseason moves. I mentioned that part of me was curious just how the new players acquired in the massive mid season deal that brought Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West and Joe Smith (who was later dealt in the off season) to the squad, would play if they were with the team for a full season. I was content with trading them as Ferry did with Smith and probably will do with Wally, but I couldn't help but think.
I also wrote that I wanted to re-sign both West and Gibson. I wanted a point guard. We all wanted a point guard. Every die hard, dedicated Cavs fan I associate with wanted a legit point guard. Ferry come through. He did re-sign the two guards I wanted AND he pulled in a big time PG.
One word ladies and gentlemen: Mowill! Ok, two: Mo Williams.
I was pumped to hear we acquired him but as usual, I would believe the hype when I saw it. Larry Hughes came in with similar expectations and never came close to living up to them. At this point in the season, Williams' addition to the team has created a positive domino effect that you see as far as the end of the bench.
First, the offense is completely different. Suddenly, this team moves and cuts and gets open and makes shots. Williams presents an ability to truly distribute the ball. He is able to keep possessions alive by maintaining a dribble that is under control. His shot has been pure. He gets big baskets when needed taking a ton of pressure of LeBron. You can tell he is a leader, the quarterback of the team, the coach on the floor which is just what a point guard should be. He allows West to move over to the two guard position where he has flourished. He has been shooting very well and penetrating and playing surprisingly good defense against guys bigger than him.
LeBron trusts Mo. James is also able to work off the ball and move about the baseline which frees him up and adds a tremendous amount of pressure on the opposition's defense and help James get much easier shots.
We have been begging for this team to get away from the spread the floor and watch LeBron style of offense that killed every game. As a result, James is flourishing as usual and other guys are getting open looks and coming through.All because of Williams.
Secondly, the defense has been the type of defense people keep saying Mike Brown is able to create. They are genuinely shutting people down. They all hustle, rebound, double team and help, rotate, get in passing lanes to create steals and the blocked shots in the paint are constant. It is fun to watch them squash and strangle other teams.
Also, the third quarters are a total reverse of the last couple years. They used to come out flat and lose games against weak teams because of their lackluster third quarters. Now they come out and completely dominate on both ends. They have ran away with games to a point where the end of the bench empties for the entire fourth quarter and the starters take over for the cheerleaders rooting their teammates on. We have now been able to get rookies like Darnell Jackson and J.J. Hickson some legit minutes to help prepare them for the future and allow other bench players minutes to stay fresh and ready in case of injuries which will inevitably come, especially because of this positive talk coming from me. Some negative will come about like a bad injury.
Finally, this team has developed chemistry. Like I wrote after last season, some time together could create positive synergy. It looks as though they have. They police themselves and Mike Brown even says it himself, he just plays the film and they know what to do and do it. They get on each other to keep the right mindset. They don't allow for each other to get off course. You can see they all have one goal in mind and that is to win it all and they all are gunning for that goal.
This season has been good up to now.
But seriously, I love Mo Williams...he is the reason for the success.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Lifetime Struggle
My wife loves this show called "Brothers and Sisters." I must admit I have found myself getting caught up in the story lines as well. I have never claimed to be one with valid judgements when it comes to quality music, tv, theater or any form of art, but I feel the writing is awfully good on this show.
The episode she watched today on the DVR was about one of the characters' daughter. She was only 2 years old and had liver problems due to the medication she took as a premature infant. As the story twists like any television show does these days, the father is not the biological father. To complicate things, both of his brothers donated sperm "anonymously" to help him and his wife conceive. The owner of the successful sperm was left unknown. This is important because his daughter needs a liver transplant and the donor needs to be the same blood type, or in other words, the real father. The mother did not match. So hi jinx ensued as the "real" dad was discovered along with all the surrounding drama that relates.
I bring this up because of the difficulty I had watching this whole thing. I couldn't walk away but I felt like I was getting punched in the stomach repeatedly. I was getting emotional....more emotional than I should have been I suppose, after all this is just a show and there is no question of my fatherhood. Aside: I am sorry to be so over dramatic, but I am trying to accurately depict my emotions during this experience.
There were two aspects of the show that affected me in such an intense way. First, my daughter too is at risk of liver damage due to particular circumstances. I can't help but worry about her liver, especially when I am reminded of it. I am doing the necessary precautions and will continue to do so but the prospect of it just sneaking up on us scares me to death. The inability to control the matter scares me more. I suppose I technically could choose to avoid this risk but the risk involved with this other choice is far greater.
Secondly and more powerfully, I was really struggling with watching the father at the hospital. It took me back once again to the worst experiences of my life. I was reminded of the times I have been in the hospital, not for myself, but for loved ones. I have been the one in the room with my wife or daughter through the problem. I have been the one talking to the doctors hearing diagnosis and making decisions. I have had to report to the family in the waiting room. I have been the one burying my head in my hands allowing myself to cry the ridiculous, embarrassing, audible kind of crying. I have had to struggle with the feeling of wanting to be alone then suddenly being too scared to actually do it. I have had to watch my loved ones in tired, drugged up, pitiful states that was so difficult to see without wishing I could trade places....especially the little one who was so young, fragile and vulnerable. She was literally in a cage of a crib while being transported to the NICU where she was at risk of respiratory arrest while she was loaded up with medicine to get control of her problem. I sat there all night staring at the monitor, making sure I would get the nurse at the slightest hint of no breathing. I bet I have written this before. I bet I will write it again. This has been something I doubt I will ever recover from. To this night I still walk in her room when she's asleep to make sure she is still breathing. And everyday I deal with the daily process of keeping her condition under control and being cognisant of anything that could be a sign of something that needs to be addressed. The fear and worry never goes away.
I remember watching my wife being led off to the OR to finish off a horrid week of bad news, arduous decisions and worse results. Even though she was a strong adult, I still felt helpless and powerless and had those same wishes that I could trade places. I had to hear later how "successful" the procedure was even though it meant the end of our dreams and plans and opened up more uncomfortable questions and anxiety that we both continue to deal with together and on our own.
I guess I am a glutton for punishment but something in me wanted to watch this and feel this pain. I immediately though I should blog about it and share my feelings. This blog has been therapeutic.
In addition I find myself worrying about my daughter's future. Not only in terms of physical health but mental health. It is so hard for her to make friends her age because she is so far behind. She cannot communicate with her peers in a way they can understand. I worry bullies or mean spirited kids will be able to take advantage of her easily. I am afraid she will lose her sweet, simple happiness and become very sad as she discovers these things. I suppose every parent has their fears for their kids though.
I suppose these are feeling that will be with me the rest of my life.
The episode she watched today on the DVR was about one of the characters' daughter. She was only 2 years old and had liver problems due to the medication she took as a premature infant. As the story twists like any television show does these days, the father is not the biological father. To complicate things, both of his brothers donated sperm "anonymously" to help him and his wife conceive. The owner of the successful sperm was left unknown. This is important because his daughter needs a liver transplant and the donor needs to be the same blood type, or in other words, the real father. The mother did not match. So hi jinx ensued as the "real" dad was discovered along with all the surrounding drama that relates.
I bring this up because of the difficulty I had watching this whole thing. I couldn't walk away but I felt like I was getting punched in the stomach repeatedly. I was getting emotional....more emotional than I should have been I suppose, after all this is just a show and there is no question of my fatherhood. Aside: I am sorry to be so over dramatic, but I am trying to accurately depict my emotions during this experience.
There were two aspects of the show that affected me in such an intense way. First, my daughter too is at risk of liver damage due to particular circumstances. I can't help but worry about her liver, especially when I am reminded of it. I am doing the necessary precautions and will continue to do so but the prospect of it just sneaking up on us scares me to death. The inability to control the matter scares me more. I suppose I technically could choose to avoid this risk but the risk involved with this other choice is far greater.
Secondly and more powerfully, I was really struggling with watching the father at the hospital. It took me back once again to the worst experiences of my life. I was reminded of the times I have been in the hospital, not for myself, but for loved ones. I have been the one in the room with my wife or daughter through the problem. I have been the one talking to the doctors hearing diagnosis and making decisions. I have had to report to the family in the waiting room. I have been the one burying my head in my hands allowing myself to cry the ridiculous, embarrassing, audible kind of crying. I have had to struggle with the feeling of wanting to be alone then suddenly being too scared to actually do it. I have had to watch my loved ones in tired, drugged up, pitiful states that was so difficult to see without wishing I could trade places....especially the little one who was so young, fragile and vulnerable. She was literally in a cage of a crib while being transported to the NICU where she was at risk of respiratory arrest while she was loaded up with medicine to get control of her problem. I sat there all night staring at the monitor, making sure I would get the nurse at the slightest hint of no breathing. I bet I have written this before. I bet I will write it again. This has been something I doubt I will ever recover from. To this night I still walk in her room when she's asleep to make sure she is still breathing. And everyday I deal with the daily process of keeping her condition under control and being cognisant of anything that could be a sign of something that needs to be addressed. The fear and worry never goes away.
I remember watching my wife being led off to the OR to finish off a horrid week of bad news, arduous decisions and worse results. Even though she was a strong adult, I still felt helpless and powerless and had those same wishes that I could trade places. I had to hear later how "successful" the procedure was even though it meant the end of our dreams and plans and opened up more uncomfortable questions and anxiety that we both continue to deal with together and on our own.
I guess I am a glutton for punishment but something in me wanted to watch this and feel this pain. I immediately though I should blog about it and share my feelings. This blog has been therapeutic.
In addition I find myself worrying about my daughter's future. Not only in terms of physical health but mental health. It is so hard for her to make friends her age because she is so far behind. She cannot communicate with her peers in a way they can understand. I worry bullies or mean spirited kids will be able to take advantage of her easily. I am afraid she will lose her sweet, simple happiness and become very sad as she discovers these things. I suppose every parent has their fears for their kids though.
I suppose these are feeling that will be with me the rest of my life.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Top Bands Revisited
I was reflecting on my 25 favorite bands and the series of posts I wrote revealing them. My list and ranking was done just for fun and I didn't put much effort into it. My criteria was loose and I ranked according to my first impression from thinking their name and my memories of them.
I thought to myself, "Beau, what would the list look like if I got more serious about it and quantified it more rigidly?" I know it would remain extremely subjective but it may be more accurate and account for some things that were accounted for the last time.
This time I selected 6 categories: the band's persona (how they look and act and "feel"), the live show (the concert experience), the number of songs I like and how much I like them, the number of albums that are good top to bottom, the personal connection I have to them (people, memories etc) and their longevity (not as a band but for how long I have enjoyed them).
I gave each band a score of 1-5 for each category and added up their total score to rank. But I quickly discovered that there a number of bands I have not been able to see live like The Who or Nirvana and so on. So it wasn't fair to hold that 0 score against them. I figured I would average the scores to get a better, more fair idea of their overall ranking. I also scored several bands that were on my "honorable mention" list to see if they would crack the top 25. Take a look at what happened.
Before I get into the interesting differences.....
Here is the original list:
25)Public Enemy
24)Nine Inch Nails
23)Huey Lewis and the News
22)Hanzel Und Gretyl
21)Nirvana
20)Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
19)The Who
18)Sublime
17)Outkast
16)Pink Floyd
15)Jane's Addiction
14)Muse
13)The Cars
12)The Hollies
11)Audioslave
10)Linkin Park
9)Stone Temple Pilots
8)The Offspring
7)A Tribe Called Quest
6)Fun Lovin' Criminals
5)Weezer
4)Garbage
3)U2
2)Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
1)Social Distortion
First, two groups fell out with some very low averages under 2. Outkast and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club dropped out and were replaced by Alice in Chains (which I suspected) and Pearl Jam (there's your validation Michelle) who not only cracked the top 25 but landed at 17 and 18 respectively.
Secondly, I only had two bands remain in the same slot so there were many "mistakes."
Here are the big movers and shakers starting with the losers. Jane's Addiction dropped 10 spots with their lack of personal connection as a contributor. Audioslave and The Cars dropped 9 spots also suffering from the lack of personal connections. The big winners were Public Enemy and Pink Floyd. Both groups advanced 13 spots. Pink Floyd made their way to #3 on my list.
I think the Pink Floyd gain was the most surprising. I didn't think they would be a top 3 candidate when I began the list. I didn't examine the amount of respect I have for them and how much I enjoyed their live show. I also didn't think through how many albums I love. The one thing I did not account for this time was that I have to be in the mood for them. I think that is why they weren't this high on my first list.
I was also surprised of how high Hanzel Und Gretyl ended up in this list. They found themselves ranked #14. Their live show for some reason appeals to me and that helped them in the ranking.
My favorite band of all time, Social Distortion, dropped to #4. So there is some validation to Doug's comments regarding their "elevated" status. The longevity component hurt them. And the new #1? Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers who scored a perfect 5 in all but longevity (4).
Overall, the changes were minor although frequent. The number of bands that moved was high but the amount or number of spots they moved was minimal. The mean amount of change was only a minuscule +0.04 even though 25 of 27 bands moved. This tells me I wasn't off by too much. The mode of spots moved was -1. Five bands moved down one spot. No other amount of move happened as often.
Here is the new top ten with their movement from the original list in parenthesis:
10)Stone Temple Pilots (-1)
9)The Offspring (-1)
8)Weezer (-3)
7)Fun Lovin' Criminals (-1)
6)Garbage (-2)
5)U2 (-2)
4) Social Distortion (-3)
3)Pink Floyd (+13)
2)A Tribe Called Quest (+5)
1) Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (+1)
I thought to myself, "Beau, what would the list look like if I got more serious about it and quantified it more rigidly?" I know it would remain extremely subjective but it may be more accurate and account for some things that were accounted for the last time.
This time I selected 6 categories: the band's persona (how they look and act and "feel"), the live show (the concert experience), the number of songs I like and how much I like them, the number of albums that are good top to bottom, the personal connection I have to them (people, memories etc) and their longevity (not as a band but for how long I have enjoyed them).
I gave each band a score of 1-5 for each category and added up their total score to rank. But I quickly discovered that there a number of bands I have not been able to see live like The Who or Nirvana and so on. So it wasn't fair to hold that 0 score against them. I figured I would average the scores to get a better, more fair idea of their overall ranking. I also scored several bands that were on my "honorable mention" list to see if they would crack the top 25. Take a look at what happened.
Before I get into the interesting differences.....
Here is the original list:
25)Public Enemy
24)Nine Inch Nails
23)Huey Lewis and the News
22)Hanzel Und Gretyl
21)Nirvana
20)Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
19)The Who
18)Sublime
17)Outkast
16)Pink Floyd
15)Jane's Addiction
14)Muse
13)The Cars
12)The Hollies
11)Audioslave
10)Linkin Park
9)Stone Temple Pilots
8)The Offspring
7)A Tribe Called Quest
6)Fun Lovin' Criminals
5)Weezer
4)Garbage
3)U2
2)Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
1)Social Distortion
First, two groups fell out with some very low averages under 2. Outkast and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club dropped out and were replaced by Alice in Chains (which I suspected) and Pearl Jam (there's your validation Michelle) who not only cracked the top 25 but landed at 17 and 18 respectively.
Secondly, I only had two bands remain in the same slot so there were many "mistakes."
Here are the big movers and shakers starting with the losers. Jane's Addiction dropped 10 spots with their lack of personal connection as a contributor. Audioslave and The Cars dropped 9 spots also suffering from the lack of personal connections. The big winners were Public Enemy and Pink Floyd. Both groups advanced 13 spots. Pink Floyd made their way to #3 on my list.
I think the Pink Floyd gain was the most surprising. I didn't think they would be a top 3 candidate when I began the list. I didn't examine the amount of respect I have for them and how much I enjoyed their live show. I also didn't think through how many albums I love. The one thing I did not account for this time was that I have to be in the mood for them. I think that is why they weren't this high on my first list.
I was also surprised of how high Hanzel Und Gretyl ended up in this list. They found themselves ranked #14. Their live show for some reason appeals to me and that helped them in the ranking.
My favorite band of all time, Social Distortion, dropped to #4. So there is some validation to Doug's comments regarding their "elevated" status. The longevity component hurt them. And the new #1? Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers who scored a perfect 5 in all but longevity (4).
Overall, the changes were minor although frequent. The number of bands that moved was high but the amount or number of spots they moved was minimal. The mean amount of change was only a minuscule +0.04 even though 25 of 27 bands moved. This tells me I wasn't off by too much. The mode of spots moved was -1. Five bands moved down one spot. No other amount of move happened as often.
Here is the new top ten with their movement from the original list in parenthesis:
10)Stone Temple Pilots (-1)
9)The Offspring (-1)
8)Weezer (-3)
7)Fun Lovin' Criminals (-1)
6)Garbage (-2)
5)U2 (-2)
4) Social Distortion (-3)
3)Pink Floyd (+13)
2)A Tribe Called Quest (+5)
1) Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (+1)
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