Thursday, May 15, 2008

I am very lucky...


You have read me wax on about my Huey Karma. If you know me, you have heard me talk pessimistically about things in my life. I mentioned in the past I have had horrible luck when things go wrong inexplicably. My parents have spun it another way by stating how it could be considered good luck because these "bad" things could have easily been much worse. Plus, there are many people in the world with situations or events MUCH worse.

Agreed.

But I feel I am lucky for other reasons as well. I met a woman 12 years ago that has proven my good fortune. It was a chance meeting playing on the same coed softball team at Ohio State. Common conversation led to some common ground. Thus began a friendship that meandered through a number of different periods. We both followed different paths over the next decade never straying too far from one another to lose touch. But never able to get too close due to our other relationships.

Over the following decade we lived in different states. We would go months without talking. We lived contrasting lifestyles. I was married. I had a kid. But something kept us in contact with one another. Sometimes it would not be a conscious or tangible connection. We just never let go of each other's email or phone number. Even with no emails or calls to one another, we kept them.....just in case I suppose.

Then when our friendship was probably at its most minimal in terms of communication, I found myself in need of her without really realizing this specifically. We just so happened to find each other again. As luck would have it, She was one who could best help me in this time of need. A simple voicemail to touch base turned into daily emails and intentional visits.

So at precisely the same time, we reached low points in our lives. Then we just so happened to be back to hanging out and talking regularly like the first summer we knew each other. Coincidence? Luck? In my case I had many loving people rally behind me during my low point. That alone shows the good fortune I have. I have had some wonderful relationships in my life. My family, my friends, my work colleagues, they all supported me in their own unique ways and helped make a difficult time for me rather easy. My friend also found a support system that has helped her. But the person who ended up playing the largest role for me was this friend working through her own difficulty.

Now this woman is my wife. She has gone from a good friend to more of an acquantice to my closest, most trusted relationship. She has been a tremendous role model to my daughter. She has been so loving and understanding of me. She tries so hard to be the best she can be taking it one day at a time. She has dealt with all my character defects and numerous stresses that come with entering a relationship with someone who already has a child in stride, with eloquence I could never mimic.

I have so much respect for this angel. I love her with all my heart. I give her the best and worst of me and she takes it all. She motivates me and makes me a better person despite my resistance much of the time.

Somehow she sees something in me to go through so much and stay. She has dropped everything to move to Columbus with me. That is not easy. She is basically starting her whole life over down here. I am so appreciative of this. I couldn't bear moving away from my daughter. I can barely go overnight without seeing her when she is with her mom. My loving wife knows this and has allowed me this luxury. I am forever grateful. Now she shares this as she begins to love my daughter and build a wonderful relationhsip with her.


I am so lucky that at just the right time she and I reconnected. A year earlier, a year later and that would not have happened. Had we tried to take our friendship in another direction at any point in that decade we may never had had this opportunity. We would just be memories to each other. But that never happened.

That's some good karma.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

We haven't kept in touch as much... and based on your blog posts, I'm actually sorry that I let many opportunities for interesting and profound discussion pass by..I'm glad things are working out for you... I know the roller coaster you've been through since high school.

comoprozac said...

I was going to write a comment that adequately respond to your eloquent ode to your partner...but I saw your list of greatest TV shows ever.

Family Feud? Really?

You need to rent the first season of Lost and then try not to become addicted. Try!

I'm happy for you both. You obviously provide something for V that she needs as well. It's good that you were friends first. That friendship should carry you both a long way.

Huey said...

Mike T....this blog has provided several opps for us to have good, profound discussions and spin off emails. Yet another example of my good luck. So no need to feel sorry. I look forward to more in the future with you. And we got to get the kids together again soon. Not to mention you and Chris and Vic and I.

Comprozac...yes family feud. I may not be proud of it but I'll be honest about it. That last round where they got to get to 200 is sweet! Call it a guilty pleasure but man I love my feud.

I have been intentionally avoiding Lost for that very reason you mention...I know I'll get hooked. I need to wait for the right time. And it has to be from the beginning.