Birthday Post Hal Lebovitz Style

Hal Lebovitz was a sports writer for the News Herald, the local newspaper in the county where I grew up. By the time I began reading him religiously he had been around for decades and wrote for other papers (Cleveland News and Cleveland Plain Dealer) prior to my hometown Herald. But each weekend he had a column where he touched on a number of different topics regarding the Cleveland teams or other worthwhile, interesting tidbits about the sports world at that time. This was a part of my Sundays that I cherished. We would get home from church and I made a mad dash to the Sunday News Herald to see what Hal had to say. My earlier intentions to be a sportswriter for a career stemmed from this experience.

So today I am using his Sunday format to cover a number of topics I have wanted to touch in this blog but haven't had the time to address. I have some serious catching up to do. My birthday present to myself is this post with the Georgia v. Georgia Tech game on to my right and my ipod blasting a variety of favorite tunes to my left.

Here we go....I hope you enjoy and comment on one or more:

My Dark Period
I have been pretty open about my recent downturn in mood and feeling. Mostly it has been despair, sadness and worry. But underneath these emotions there is a lot of anger brewing. I can feel it come out over little things. I explode over things I should brush off. I get easily frustrated and aggravated. I have been examining the reasons why. I am trying to connect the dots and get to the core issue I must be dealing with so I can fix it.

I keep coming back to one point. This point is that I do not stick up for myself. My wife even recognizes it and has mentioned it. She says that by not defending myself I am accepting things as true. I'll be the first to admit I have a problem with confrontation. I hate it. As a result I have taken a lot of emotional punishment without doing anything about it and then internalized it way too much. Then I feel worse about being too much of a coward to stand up and confront my confrontation fear. I think much of my anger may be coming from this.

In the past I have tried to stick up for myself when I felt like I was being pushed around but then I look like a fool because people say I can't take a joke. They say I'm taking things too seriously or I am too emotional or I am overreacting. So the cycle continues and I try to take things as a joke. But then I hear plenty of negative comments and feel horrible about myself.

I want to start calling people out when they say stupid things about me to me. But I don't want to turn into an angry person either. I have tried to practice this idea of "breaking the chain" and not letting someone else's anger towards me create a negative response from me. I wanted to stop passing forward the bad in the world. I wanted to absorb the bad and "be the better person" in an attempt to make the world better. Yes, I realize this is very righteous or pious or whatever but I tried anyway.

Now I see the damage it is doing to me as an individual and I think it is time to unleash the beast. I could go on listing the issues I have with people's wrongful treatment but I have too much more to write. Just get ready. I am working my way to a point where I am going to seem very mean.

Ohio state Football
Believe it or not there are people in Columbus who are blaming Jim Tressel for a disappointing 10-2 season. They blame the coaching for losing to USC and Penn State. I admit the Big Ten is down which means the Buckeyes really didn't have any signature wins this year but c'mon! 10-2 is 10-2. More importantly it is 10-2 after back to back appearances in the BCS Title game. Has anybody seen the mighty LSU's record this year? Granted they are in tougher conference but they didn't beat anybody of any significance. You can't blame it all on LSU's QB drama earlier in the year because their defense stunk it up all year. It is not easy to maintain the kind of success Ohio State has had over the Tressel era. In his 8 years he has won a national title, played for two others, made BCS bowl games 5(maybe 6 if Oregon st loses a game) times, been in a bowl game every year, beaten our rival 7 times, and won or shared the Big Ten title at least 4 times (off the top of my head). Weak conference or not teams are bound for a let down in that time. OSU really has never had a major let down and when there has been one, it lasts one season. During this same period I can only think of USC and Texas (maybe Florida) as teams that have had the same consistent success. Get off Tressel people. We are lucky to have him.

Raising My Kid
I watched the OSU v. Michigan game at the house of a friend of mine. She used to work with me so another colleague from work was there as well. The game was a blowout allowing our conversation to meander away from sports and it found its way to the Bible. My colleague mentioned Proverbs as a good "book" to use with my daughter. This came about because I mentioned how there are a number of values from the Bible that I plan to instill in my child despite my personal issue with it. To clarify this statement I should say that it really isn't the Bible itself that I have a problem with but the people who constantly use it to support their erroneous, hateful and immoral views. The interpretation is the problem more than the book. I would also cite the narrow point of view many people have who use the Bible as the end all, be all reference to morality and goodness.

With all of this said, I am not a Bible hater. I feel there is so much that can be taken from that book like loving thy neighbor as thyself, the ten commandments, turning the other cheek, the idea that power and greed are the root of evil, giving to the poor and needy in spirit as well as more worldly needs, the importance to fight temptation and reality of it, making sacrifices and prayer. These and many more principles are concepts I find very valuable. While my daughter gets fed many things from the Bible on her mother's side, I am not going to fight it. Instead I want to make sure I direct it. She will NOT grow up thinking slavery is justified or homosexuality is immoral even though the Bible "says so." She WILL be allowed to speak up in church or to her husband. She doesn't need to grow up thinking she has to be submissive to her partner because the Bible "said so." I could go on.

My goal is to teach her these positive values of the Bible and to help as best I can to get her to understand the Bible was written in a variety of contexts and these contexts affected what was written. It is much like politics in that the different books were written to particular audiences with particular goals in mind. These things need to be considered when reading the Bible. I also want her to feel free to explore other religions and their teachings. Many times these other ways of thinking can provide a clearer point of view for someone. There are also numerous parallels. I continue to explore Buddhism and find similarities. Meditation and prayer are both important components of Christianity and Buddhism as well as sacrifice. I want my kid to feel free to discover this for herself. If I have any say in the matter, she will not be pigeon holed in one discipline.

Being a Moderate
My wife and I had a fantastic conversation on the ride up to our families for the holiday celebrating thanks (and genocide through small pox and violence). She is a die hard liberal and is very proud of it. She wants her values and beliefs to fall on the left side of the ledger every time. She believes that is the correct way of thinking.

Most of the time I fall on her side of things. But not always. This is where the conversation got interesting. As we discussed different issues, she proved her dedication and loyalty to liberalism. I, on the other hand, demonstrated that I have no urge whatsoever to be placed in one particular category. I don't like being labeled liberal or conservative (contrary to a friend's belief that I support liberal issues only because it is "cool" and I want to be liberal because my college professors influenced me and my peers to be). I don't want to be put in a box like that. When I determine my stance on different topics, issues or whatever I like to examine them on their own merit and particular circumstances. I then try to base my stance on my own value system. Whether it is conservative or liberal doesn't matter to me. While I do admit I fall on the liberal side more often than not, I wouldn't call myself that at all. That is fine.

What is most interesting about this is that I try to take things on a case by case basis so I can make sure I am consistent in terms of my personal values as opposed to my political stance, but sometimes it creates contradictions. So in an effort to avoid contradictions I am actually creating contradictions within my views or opinions.

John Brown

I continue to read "Lies My Teacher Told Me: What American History Textbooks Got Wrong" by James Loewen. I recently finished a section about John Brown and his treatment or lack thereof in our textbooks. I find this man and his story fascinating. In high school textbooks he is described as this crazed, militant abolitionist. Loewen even shows two pictures of him (pg 177) with one normal portrait next to a wild, long haired, long bearded man with a crazed look in his eye. According to Loewen, he was a well spoken, well read, intelligent man who proved so in his words during his trial for treason as well as his letters to his family and in his diary. He was well aware of the contradiction our country was demonstrating through slavery. He also knew of the inner struggle we were dealing with in regards to it. He wrote just before his execution that the only way these "crimes" of slavery would be "purged" from our country would be "with blood." (pg 175) As we know, it took the bloody Civil War to finally put an end to slavery.

In 1854 the Kansas-Nebraska Act tried to deal with slavery by leaving the decision to those who settled there. Farmers from the North rushed in to establish it a "free soil" state while most Southern slave owners didn't make the move. But a number of slave owners from Missouri would cross the border to intimidate and terrorize the settlers in an effort to sway things towards slavery. (Loewen p. 173-174) Brown, an abolitionist with family in Kansas, countered by attacking and killing a number of these "terrorists." Later, Brown led a slave revolt in Harper's Ferry, Virginia where he would be caught by Robert E. Lee, eventually tried and hanged for treason.

What is interesting here is that history textbooks up to as late as the 1970s and some even later, painted Brown as the bad guy. They would even go as far as stating the slaves didn't want to revolt despite the evidence that Loewen presents to the contrary. This is a southern justification for slavery that I have noticed in other parts of the book. There seemed to be a consistent attempt to convince us that slaves actually did not mind being enslaved. While I don't specifically remember being taught this, the textbooks being used across the country during my years in school were openly presenting this idea of acceptance of slavery by the slaves themselves.

What the textbooks miss out on is bringing American History alive by presenting John Brown in a way that can demonstrate the very real inner struggle our country has been dealing with for centuries regarding slavery and racism. There were so many economic issues and states rights issues that played roles in the Civil War too but they were tied into the prevailing racism that took place and still takes place today. High school students could have some unbelievably interesting and enlightening discussions about race and slavery if we would look at people like John Brown and his ideas, beliefs and questionable actions to promote and support those thoughts. Abraham Lincoln was a great president who really did want to eradicate slavery from our country and knew it was a BIG cause of and factor in the Civil War, but he too struggled with his personal racism. On one hand he referred to African Americans as "niggers" but on the other he felt guilty and sick about seeing slaves shackled on a train he rode. Nobody wants to see the racial slurs Lincoln used or hear about Washington and Jefferson owning slaves, cheating on their wives or in Jefferson's case being an atheist. But I think we can present these "heroes" to our high school students in a way that demonstrates their flaws and shows how they accomplished a good bit despite their shortcomings and how these contradictions created interesting situations and discussion points. It doesn't need to be this pure, constant line of progress because it wasn't. Our history has had its ups and downs, progress and set backs, successes and failures and they all have affected how things are today.

LeBron James in 2010
Charles Barkley was on a radio show and called out James in regards to his open dialogue about possibly playing in New York in 2010. He said LeBron should not be so open about it. He plays for the Cavs and will for two more seasons and needs to quit talking about the Knicks or Nets. James responded by calling Barkley "stupid."

I am finding myself more and more anti-LeBron. It is hard to do. He is so, very good, plays for my team and seems like a good guy. But I will not be held hostage by him and I am getting tired of this game. No player should be bigger than the team. Even LeBron. I have been worried about this happeneing. This is one of the things I hated about Jordan. He became bigger than the Bulls. In fact the NBA as a whole fell out of graces with me as a result. Then the new generation of stars came about. Among them, James who seemed like a team first guy on the court. Combine that with being on my team and I was fine with James and his Jordanesque persona.

Now I am getting tired of it. At first, I wanted to write about how the national media needs to shut up about NYC and LeBron and buy a clue that Cleveland is also putting themselves in position to sign LeBron in 2010. They will be in the BEST position to re-sign him to be honest. But we don't hear that on ESPN. Also, we will have enough to get ANOTHER stud that is available that year. ESPN, FOX and other national media outlets won't tell you that.

Instead, I almost want James gone. I don't want to contribute to the "player bigger than the team" concept. Correct or incorrect, true or false....that is what's stupid Mr. James.

(This Georgia v. Ga Tech rivalry game has been pretty fun to watch....especially the second half.)