Thanksgiving

I am well aware of the "meaning" of this holiday: the genocide of American Indians. With that said, it still provides an opportunity to give thanks and show appreciation for the important things in life. While we're at it, expressing gratefulness for the trivial things as well doesn't hurt.

I would like to share my Thanksgiving for this year.

I am very grateful for the birth of my second daughter. She brings added joy to my marriage as my wife and I nurture this child and raise her. After losing Mallory and experiencing the heartache that brought for us, this birth took on extra meaning. The miracle of life was not taken for granted.

I am pleased to watch my oldest grow into a role model and care for her little sister. She has handled this change in our household with relative ease. I'm so proud and impressed with her thus far.

I appreciate my wife. This is not an easy situation we are in with a prior marriage, a child and a house that is not her own. She has uprooted her life to become part of mine, the whole time wanting to start a shared life between the two of us. The patience she has been forced to exhibit would break many women. I am grateful for this and so much more.

I am immensely thankful for every day I have with my oldest daughter. I have been open about the fact that she has had a roller coaster of a life in regards to her development and health. She continues to maintain a happy, cheerful disposition despite it all. Meanwhile I worry every second of every day about every aspect of her struggles. I never know when I may lose her. I try to stop my tendency to think negatively and catastrophically when I do not need to but the fact is that this is the way my brain works. I have reason to think this way in her case. So I need to enjoy every minute I have with her.

I am thankful that I have a job, house, food and clothing.

I am thankful that I have a supportive family and my in-laws have welcomed me with open arms.

I am grateful I live in a country with the freedom that we have despite the abuses of these freedoms by numerous people.

My friends have stepped up when I have needed them and I cannot ignore them in a post regarding appreciation. It is easy to be a friend when things are good, but it takes genuine care and concern when things are bad. I say things and do things without thinking from time to time but they never cut off our friendships as a result. I thank them all for their patience.

I can't ignore the appreciation I have for the fact that I have so much to be appreciative of in general.

Finally, I am thankful for the following I have for this blog. There are over 2,100 hits this year alone with about half the posts of last year.

Thank you.

Happy OSU v. Michigan

I say this with 100% genuine sincerity: The Ohio State Buckeyes versus University of Michigan Wolverines Football Saturday is an observed holiday in my household. I will go to my grave recognizing this day.

So as Jim Tressel led our Buckeyes to his 8th win in 9 years as our head coach today, I learned many things about this day and my life in general. I would like to share them with you.

1. I cherish this day.

2. It makes the day so enjoyable when OSU wins and the weather is a balmy 50 degrees and sunny.

3. I have some really cool friends who come to my house despite the prospect that our Bucks may lose and I may make everyone uncomfortable.

4. My dude, Chad gets it.

5. I love my wife. I had some where around 10 friends and colleagues come to my house to share in the festivities and she was nothing but cordial and welcoming. Never once did she balk. There would be a mess. Our carpet would be walked upon. Plenty of boisterous ruckus would take place. And never did she complain. She took care of the baby and I got to socialize and watch football.

6. I wish I could have joined Rob's bonfire.

7. I got to experience the phenomenon that is The Baddness and it was well worth the price of admission. His friends are very cool and I hope to hang out with them again.

8. Oregon will most likely be our opponent in the Rose Bowl. Maybe now, we can gain some respect int he eyes of ESPN and the national media. But the defense BETTER show up and somehow, someway, Pryor needs to learn how to pass in the next month.

9. I don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan 'cuz I'm from OH-IO.

10. I really wish I could have had my oldest daughter with me today. I mean it when I say I consider this day a holiday. Just like Thanksgiving and Christmas and her birthday, I want to share this day with my girl. I want her decked out in her scarlet and gray cheering with me and getting frustrated with the bad plays. I want her to form memories of these games with her dad. While so much was good about today, there is still this missing piece in my heart. I would trade the times with my friends for the time with her in a hear beat. I have before and would have today. Of course, today I could have had both. But this is reality. Maybe next year.

11. I did get to share the day with my youngest. Most of the day she was with her mom. But she had her Buckeye gear on. She watched pregame with me and listened to the marching band. Most importantly, she was her to experience the experience. When she is up walking and talking, I anticipate her contribution to the future holidays to be significant.

12. I like my life the way it is. I witnessed numerous things tonight. But after it was all said and done, I was very happy I am living the life I am living. I am happy I have my family as it is, my house, a job, my friends, my personality, attitude, way of living, values and general lifestyle. I can't do what some can but I am happy with watching them. I don't do what some do and I am extremely pleased I don't.

13. I am excited to see family and old friends this coming weekend for the holiday. I have plenty to be thankful for and I look forward to acknowledging it!

On this day when we beat Michigan....LIFE IS GOOD!

WWHD

Yesterday a highly respected colleague of mine walked in my room after dismissal and the conversation went something like this:

"Huey, I had moment today."

"Uh oh what happened?" I responded.

"I had too much going on and I was trying to get all of this stuff in during Reading and it was falling apart in front of my face," she said sounding rather exasperated.

"Then I thought to myself, 'What would Huey do?'" she continued with her hand on her forehead with a look of consternation.

"Oh yeah?" I asked. "And what did Huey end up doing?"

"Stopped. Thought, 'Less is more. Work smarter, not harder.'"

"Ahh, so you streamlined the lesson and focused on what makes the most impact?" I though it would be wise to paraphrase back what she said to demonstrate my understanding.

"Exactly. Thank you Mr. Huey. Thank you."

The colleague with whom I had this conversation is an amazing woman who I hold in extremely high regard. I try to emulate her on a daily basis. The things she does in her classroom are truly remarkable.

Although I have worked next door to her for almost a decade now and have a clear idea of how she works, I am not the only one who has noticed her success. Any time there are important people in our school to observe how things work, her classroom is the model to which we hold ourselves and it's her room our administration takes the visitors to see first.

But the quality I find most appealing is her humility. Despite the accolades and praise we all shower upon her, she gets it. She understand that she is a product of others. Every time I compliment her or thank her or refer to her strengths, she immediately returns with a reference to something I have done that she has copied or taken from me.

She is extremely supportive in her language. She never offers help in a condescending manner. In meetings, she publicly praises me and brags about things I have done or that our grade level as a group has done.

So when someone like her recognizes my greatness, it means something to me. It is a legitimate comment that I take to heart.

I realize greatness isn't usually appreciated in its time, but she has appreciated mine ....if I do say so myself. And that is something people in my profession need more of, more often.

Especially when you end the day with bold, angry, little fourth graders calling you an idiot and intentionally jamming their should in your gut.

2009-2010 Cleveland Cavaliers: No More Excuses

Before we go forward, we must look back.

Since the emergence of LeBron James to NBA royalty, the Cleveland Cavaliers have been trying to find the perfect recipe to mix with him for a title.

In 2007 LeBron put the team on his back and carried them to the NBA Finals. But they were easily disposed of by the experience and overwhelming talent of the San Antonio Spurs.

Ferry knew he needed to bring in more talent. He wanted to surround James with a better supporting cast. At the same time, he tried to maintain the integrity of the team and keep contract flexibility for the 2010 free agent class only a few years away at that time.

In a trading deadline blockbuster during the 2007-2008 season, he brought in Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West and Joe Smith.

Unfortunately, a fourth seed in the postseason led the Cavs to playoff series without home court advantage. Many blamed this for the early exit in the second round to the eventual champions, Boston Celtics. It was said in some circles that the closely contested game seven of that series would have gone in the Cavs' favor if it was in Cleveland instead of Boston.

So last off season Ferry went out and acquired Mo Williams to guide the team and possibly be LeBron's number two man. In addition, the team committed themselves to "one goal," which meant they were gunning for home court advantage throughout the entire postseason and a title.

The team ripped off a franchise record 66 wins. They dominated the first two playoff series, sweeping Detroit and Atlanta.

They had the coveted home court advantage and several players were stepping up to give James the support every Cavs' fan had been begging for throughout his career.

But once again, they fell short as Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic created match up problems that Mike Brown and the Cavs could not overcome.

That brings us to the 2009 off season. There were more off season moves by Ferry to shore up the lineup and address those problems Orlando presented for the Cavs.

First, the "Shaquisition." Ferry worked a low risk trade with the Phoenix Suns to acquire Shaquille O'Neal for center/forward Ben Wallace and guard Sasha Pavlovic as well as a draft pick.

Last season O'Neal averaged 17.8 points and 8.4 rebounds a game and appeared in his 15th All-Star Game.

In addition, Ferry signed Anthony Parker and Jamario Moon.

Parker is a guard/forward who can start. Last season with the Toronto Raptors, he averaged 10.7 points, 4.0 rebounds and career highs of 3.4 assists and 1.3 steals in 33.0 minutes per game. He will fit in well with the defensive minded Cavs and add some much needed offense as well.

Moon is a forward who plays the same position as James but will find a way into the lineup. He is a solid outside shooter who can rebound and play defense. He averaged 7.2 points per game last season and 4.6 rebounds.

Overlooked in the midst of these three signings was the resigning of Andy Varejao who brings plenty of hustle and energy to the team. He gets in the head of opponents and takes charges like few in the NBA do. He has also developed a good relationship with LeBron on the court as the two feed off each other.

O'Neal should be able to guard anyone down low without the need for a double team which will alleviate some of the stress on the perimeter. Parker and Moon add athleticism and length on the perimeter so the undersized Delonte West won't be worn down guarding the Rashard Lewis' or Hedo Turkoglu's of the world.

That brings us to the current season.

There are no more excuses for the Cavaliers.

LeBron now has a legitimate number two in O'Neal and there are quality role players surrounding them. They have height, shooters and ball handlers. They have athleticism and a mix of youth and experience. There is depth at every position.

The team chemistry was well documented last year as they enjoyed their pregame rituals like the photograph poses.

The core of the team has been together for several seasons. Mo Williams has been through a post season as an integral part of the team. The coach has plenty of experience.

This year MUST be the year.

Get home court.

Beat the teams in front of you.

Bring home the title to a starving city bleeding wine and gold!

I Love It.....

...when I come home from work and open the garage door to the sounds and coos of my baby girl upstairs.

...when I walk up those stairs and see my oldest anxiously greet me with a hug and plenty of excitement.

...when my wife makes sure I don't proceed without giving her a kiss.

...that my wife looks as beautiful as she does.

...that my wife can carry and contribute to a conversation about anything I have on my mind and initiates conversations that intrigue me.

...when I play night softball games under the lights. I fondly remember when I did it for the first time in high school and was struck by the feeling that rushed over me as I trotted out to the outfield. Now, almost twenty years later, I still enjoy that experience.

...that I get to pitch at some of my games. There is something to the control and constant involvement in the game that I enjoy. It is really fun when I am pitching well. I love the satisfaction of contributing to the win.

...when I meet friends to watch any particular team I support. The more the merrier.

...when the leaves begin to change colors and air cools. This time of year is easily my favorite. It means something when it trumps the time of year when I didn't have to work. But once the shock of returning to school wears and I get into the routine, this time of year is great. Even cloudy cool days are nice. Football is in full swing. Playoff baseball is going on. The basketball and hockey seasons are about to commence. There is a feel in the air that I love. Holidays are right around the corner and the traditions that come with them are a joy. Trick or treating with the girls. Lots of turkey and football on Thanksgiving. The Michigan game. Christmas and all that comes with it. Ahh yeah.

...that I have numerous positive relationships with coworkers. As difficult as my job is day in and day out, enjoying the people I work with make it more tolerable.

...that Shaq is a Cavalier. I am eager to watch a season with LeBron and O'Neal playing together nightly.

...that Braylon Edwards is no longer a Brown.

...that I genuinely enjoy the company of my in-laws and even my brother's in-laws.

...that my nephews are very cool. Being "uncle Beau" is nothing but fun and watching them bond with their cousins is awesome to watch.

...that I have so many good friends. I also love that I have such a diverse set of friends. The diversity has added plenty of spice to my life.

...that I do not have any long standing grudges or estrangements with family members or loved ones.

...that I am paying off my debt....slowly but surely.

...that I have all girls this year. I am enjoying it as much of a roller coaster ride that it is.

...that I have so many fond memories of several periods of my life.

...that I got to be a part of 85. And that every time we are together we all acknowledge it and mark it with pictures. It is a tradition and an experience that I cherish to this day and always will.

...that I got to throw the tire.

...that I know what glasshouse party means to a select group of people. And I got to experience it multiple time.

...that at least Ohio State has won a a championship in my lifetime and it was a football one at that.

...that Cleveland was able to get back our football team and its essence unlike every other city out there.

...that I have been able to go to a Rose Bowl. And it was an epic game.

...that I can turn the channel when I see Ann Coulter is on CNN.

...that I can rake at "Beer Money" on STO.

...when All Bets Are Off is on TV and I can enjoy Bruce rant about things I care about just like the old days on the radio before he was in trouble with the law.

...that I got to witness Bernie Kosar play for the Browns.

...that I was around for the birth of the Dawg Pound and sat in it during its glory days.

...that I was able to attend games in the Grand Old Lady on the Lake before it was demolished for the new Cleveland Browns Stadium.

...that the Browns stadium is named just that and not some sponsor like Progressive Field.

...that I was able to enjoy the Indians in the mid-90s.

...that know what it is to be loyal and die hard no matter what, to something.

Dream Lineup

This past week I was able to make my way to Cincinnati for another Social Distortion show. Social D is my all time favorite band.

This started me thinking, what would be the ultimate concert lineup for me?

Social Distortion would be the headliner with an hour to an hour and a half show. But who would open and lead up to the main act?

I thought I would want a variety. But I would want a variety of bands that work well together to create an energy of excitement leading to Social D. For instance, Pink Floyd is a great band that I would love to see again but their show and vibe wouldn't mix with these others at all.

But these bands would need to be among my favorites. They would also need to be excellent live acts since this is live. Quality in the studio doesn't automatically get you in my lineup.

So I thought I would start with A Tribe Called Quest. They would open the show with a laid back vibe to get you started with a smooth groove. Q-Tip and Phife Dog would lay some lyrics and rhyme down as you begin your first drink and bob your head.

Then, Fun Lovin' Criminals would enter the stage and continue the schmooth flow. They would maintain a nice mellow vibe with a couple of jazzy, bluesy songs but also begin a transition to a rock vibe.

Next, things would begin to intensify a bit and move more into a rock mode as Muse would take stage and contribute their epic art rock vibe. While not exactly a hard sound, they would take the music to a more rock genre and lend some strong, loud sound to the show.

The next contributor would be Weezer. Their plethora of familiar songs to draw from would get the crowd even more into it and continue the bridge from the early bands to the last two juggernauts.

At this point, we are four deep already and I would be eager to see the headliner. Just one more addition is needed. In order to take it to another level in the world of rock and intensity, I would have The Bronx come out and kick some ass. They would blow the roof off of the place and allow Social D to come in with the crowd in a frenzy.

Finally, the headliner would come out guns a blazin' and play a set that never slows. Pure rock 'n Roll. Classic stuff from Mommy's Little Monster, my favorite album from them, and rock on through to their new stuff that I also enjoy. Mike Ness would lend his intro to the songs like he always does. The crowd would heave plastic cups of beer on stage. We would sing along and point in the air to the beat.

It would be an epic night.

Best rock show ever.......for me.

December 27th

My last post was about the inevitable depression that arrives soon after a major event in one's life. Most of the time these major events are very positive ones like weddings, graduations, big sports victories, a new job, completion of big projects or tasks and journeys in life.

But there is one major event that has been very positive for me and doesn't result in a drop off of happiness after it loses its luster. One that I would also relate to Christmas as I did the last post.

This has been the births of my daughters.

I recall my early days of fatherhood. I would frequently use the analogy of the excitement of Christmas morning to describe the feeling of entering fatherhood. But the difference in the two experiences was that my child never lost her luster as the Christmas gifts inevitably did every year.

This wasn't to say being a Dad was always sugarplums and lollipops. My experience in particular has been very difficult and stressful.

But at no moment have I lost the exciting feeling deep in my soul. I still feel and appreciate my "gift" (now gifts with an "s") as much as I did the moment they were brought into the world.

There has been no drop off and I don't anticipate there ever will be.

The next part of that TV show isn't "December 26th." It is the next dramatic, entertaining episode. Everyday life with my children is filled with excitement and happy feelings that you would see as the protagonist figures the moral of the story. It is far from mundane.

So not every happy experience has to have that sad, plunging feeling of returning to the "baseline."

The Day After Christmas

December 26th was the worst day of the year growing up. It was the "morning after" before I had any idea what the morning after meant. It was the the low after the high.

Weeks of intense anticipation for Christmas day and the gifts I would receive and the Dad's Diner breakfast we would eat came to a crashing, sudden halt on this day each year.

The morning of December 26th brought the reality of the ugly, cold weather outside. There were no more green and red sugar cookies. The tree didn't have the same glow. The gifts were already boring and sometimes broken. Christmas songs weren't enjoyable anymore, just annoying. It was still too early to call your friends. The whole vibe was completely lost.

Throughout life I realized this sudden loss of happiness would happen more often than one day a year. Every high had its equal low immediately after.

The morning after my wedding. The rest of the day after my graduations. The morning after numerous parties. The day after vacations.

This came to mind as I spent this evening with my wife. In our crazy, wild life, this meant sitting in front of the TV while the kids were sleeping watching her "stories." Yes, fatigue gets the best of you in this profession of ours.

At the end of her show, the typical resolution came about and the protagonist learned the moral of her story. Yes, it is important to maintain your relationship with your mother.

Hey. I didn't say it was my show. I said it was "her stories." There is no football to be found on Tuesday nights and baseball has been dead to me since the Indians flamed out in, errrrrr, April.

Everything was nicely wrapped up and all loose ends tied when I thought to myself, "What next?"

I'll tell you what next: the low, depressing feeling that comes after the dramatic moments of your life end, but life goes on.

December 26th comes next.

Thank God For Football!

Turn a new page. Tear the old one out. And I'll try to see things your way.
"How We Operate" by Gomez

I try to be a man of my word. And my word has been that I am done being held prisoner to the Huey Karma. No longer will Negative Huey dominate my life.

It is a new day. The day of positive Huey is now.

But the Karma still won't let me go. It refuses to let me live my life in the positive manner I want to live it.

It started in the sports realm of my life an it will end in the sports realm.

This weekend the Karma has beaten me down, bloodied me up and dragged me down the street in a victory parade on the way to a dirty lake where it dumped me and left me there to die.

But I refuse to lose.

I will scratch and claw with every fiber of my being to crawl out of the murky lake and have my day. I will not allow this to keep me down.

USC beat my Buckeyes in heartbreaking fashion. The usual outcome for my beloved teams. There seems to be no other possible outcome these days. I was led to believe there was a chance. I allowed myself to live in the moment and enjoy the lead as we had it in the second half. But, as usual, the offense shut down and couldn't ice the game. I left the stadium heart dragging ten feet behind.

But I maintain my composure and look back on this experience with fondness. The evening was electric. The crowd was intense. The atmosphere was like little I have ever experienced. It ranks at the top of my list with the 1997 Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. There were numerous moments of joy and elation.

It was that good.

I choose to stick with that memory despite the loss.

The Browns clocked in with the usual poor performance this afternoon to top off a losing weekend.

I choose to quickly forget this and focus on the words of my good friend who shares my pain: "It's so good to have football back."

In the midst of losing and despair, he still knew that football is good. It is back.

Thank God for football!!

Ironic Ignorance

Ignorant:
–adjective
1. lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned: an ignorant man.
2. lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact: ignorant of quantum physics.
3. uninformed; unaware.
4. due to or showing lack of knowledge or training: an ignorant statement.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ignorant)

Today a former student of a teacher friend of mine approached him after school as the students were dismissing. I had no idea who she was and had no recognition of her from the past.

As she talked about her former teacher from first grade, they joked about what kind of teachers we were and I was labeled "mean." Honestly, it was a refreshing statement since I worry that I am too often the "nice" teacher. I didn't enter this profession to be their friends. So hearing that I was considered mean meant I haven't strayed too far to the easy going side of my profession.

In addition, "mean" is usually code for "the teacher didn't let me do what I wanted to do." When that means not letting them coast by without working, then hell yeah, I am a mean SOB.

But until these last moments of writing all of this, that aspect of the conversation was lost in the one word she used in describing me during the laughter. This one word stuck with me throughout the rest of the afternoon because it reminded me of how often I hear it used erroneously.

The word? Ignorant.

It has become a pet peeve of mine which I probably mentioned once or twice in this blog already.

The word, "ignorant" gets tossed about so incorrectly and so often that I sometimes I wonder if I am the one mistaken. I looked it up on dictionary.com just to confirm my understanding of its meaning.

I am right. They are wrong.

This child and so many other people use ignorant to mean rude. But even the context she used it in today made such little sense I am not sure she even meant rude. Maybe she thinks it means rude, but rude didn't fit the context of her use of ignorance in this particular case. So she lost me.

Even though she was never in my class. She said knew me from the lunchroom despite the fact I have never had lunch duty. Maybe it is mistaken identity, but that is irrelevant. The point here is that in her mind, I was "ignorant" for being mean to her in the lunchroom.

Maybe she meant I was rude.

But how is that demonstrating some lack of knowledge on my part? This is what ignorant means after all, right? A lack of knowledge.

In the end, it seems rather ironic that people who use the word ignorant in this fashion to describe someone else, are actually the ignorant ones.

As they speak of someone being ignorant, they are displaying that very description themselves.

And this particular girl not only demonstrated the correct meaning of the word without knowing it, she also displayed her incorrect meaning of the word in her rude treatment of someone she doesn't even know.

Seems awfully ignant to me.

The Huey Karma Won't Die

Not long ago I swore off the Huey Karma. It was part of a greater effort to be more positive. I openly acknowledge my tendency to be a pessimist and look at things from a negative point of view even though I have always felt it was more of a realistic point of view.

I want to change that habit. I understand I am wired a certain way and sometimes there is need for pessimism to keep my head on straight, but I believe I can stay true to myself and my "wiring" while leaning in a more positive direction. I believe I can have a more positive outlook and in turn enjoy myself more.

Therefore, the Huey Karma had to go.

But not without its last kicks. It is like kicking an addiction. Relapse may be inevitable. But it is not reason to quit quitting.

Allow me to explain the Huey Karma to those of you who are new to the concept. It is not exactly like the conventional karma we are used to hearing about within Buddhism or other Eastern belief systems. No, the Huey Karma is more like Murphy's Law. What can go wrong, will go wrong.

The Huey Karma would state: If you don't expect it to go wrong, it will go wrong.

One rule of combating the Huey Karma is to never take anything good for granted no matter how inevitable it may seem. Expect the bad and it won't happen. But assume you have something before you have it and you will lose it. The Karma preys on your unsuspecting moments.

If you ever think you have something prematurely, the Karma will strike and take it from you.

It began with sports and then generalized to my life overall. I quickly noticed in my little league games that when I assumed we would win, we would lose. As I watched countless heartbreaks at the hands of John Elway, Micheal Jordan, Art Modell, the Florida Marlins, Michigan Wolverines and even the Michigan State Spartans, my fears were reinforced.

The greatest example would be the opening game of the Browns season not long after they returned. The clock said 0:00 and the Browns had more points. They lost that game. Dwayne Rudd was called for a penalty that I never saw called before or since that game. He took off his helmet.

Huey Karma.

The examples are endless. Those of you who know me have heard them all.

My driver's license. Countless girls I tried to date. College Graduation. Endless lists of more minor shortcomings.

I have a good friend, Chad who understands the Karma and warned me against swearing it off. He knew the ramifications I would be facing. If there was a school of Huey Karma, Chad would have his Master's Degree. He would be close to finishing his doctorate as we speak.

We both attended the Ohio State versus Navy game this past Saturday. We both had high expectations for the game. That was our first mistake.

As the days before the game drew near, we set up our plans to meet before the game and head to campus to enjoy the pre game atmosphere. Then we would proceed to the game to watch a good game against a good opponent that would end in relatively easy win.

Then the Karma arrived.

First, I realized I couldn't make it to the game early. I had more important duties as Daddy. So that was out.

Secondly, my brother was in town for a reunion the night before. I was excited to visit with him and my sister-in-law. But that fell through as it made no sense for them to show up late at night and deal with the cats of whom my brother is allergic just for 5 minutes of bed prep and and a goodbye in the morning.

We did manage to see them and two mutual friends before the game for a couple of minutes but nothing near the kind of valuable, meaningful visit we had hoped for in our plans. (Plus, it hurts my argument here)

Through it all, I maintained my positive attitude and enjoyed what I did get to enjoy. The few minutes were better than nothing. The walk through campus was nice. The conversation with Chad was pleasant.

But the Karma doesn't go that easy.

We finally made out way tot he stadium and began the trek that was the climb to our seats.

When we came to rest at our seats, it was the second to last row. The steep climb almost made my nose bleed if not my ears. The seats themselves were directly next to the wall of the press box and a pole was right in front of us.

Take a look at the seats we had after we moved to better seats. BETTER SEATS:


Then, an easy win turned into an ugly escape as the Buckeyes blew a 15 point 4th quarter lead right on cue. If it weren't for a questionable two point conversion play call that led to a pick two for my Bucks, I could have been singing a different tune that this last paragraph will.

I was never scared.

Really.

I predicted a 26-23 Buckeye victory. It was a 31-27 Buckeye victory. A four point win instead of a three point win.

So the Karma keeps kicking. I anticipate more stories to tell. It won't go without a fight.

But I promise I am determined. I can be as stubborn as this dreaded Karma.

In the words of my dear departed grandmother, B: "If it's gotta be you or me....dammit, it's gonna be me!"

We Are Doomed!

I just read the speech that President Obama will deliver to the schools tomorrow. I read the direct speech with no commentary from either side of the political spectrum so I could decipher its harm myself.

You can check it out for yourself right here.

In a nutshell, the President used a number of personal examples as well as examples from common citizens to illustrate his point that students are the ones that truly make the difference in their own achievement.

It is about time that we put the emphasis where it belongs.

I do not mean to take the accountability off teachers or parents but the students themselves are the ones taking these tests and doing the work or making the choices necessary to succeed. No matter how much parents and teachers and administrators do to provide a relevant and appropriate education for our children, it is the children that will determine whether this work is successful. Nobody can climb in their brains and control whether or not they listen, do their work and pay attention or focus.

His speech is on point. It is relevant. It is inspiring. It is meaningful.

It provides a lesson plan that directly mirrors a lesson I did myself last week. It is a regular opening writing assigment I do where I discuss the importance of goal setting and allow the students to discuss and reflect on their own goals both long term and short term. I am proud of the lesson and usually go back to it throughout the year.

Of course, students see speeches like this all the time. I recall our superintendent doing something very similar not too many years ago. Teachers like myself do it regularly.

But kids still don't listen. They still drop out.

So in the end, the reality is that it really may not make much of a difference.

Politically, I am ashamed and appalled at my fellow countrymen and women for turning this into a circus.

If we have reached a point where we are so divided that an inspirational speech like this gets blown out of proportion like it has and turned into another reason to attack our President on his policy, we are truly in trouble.

We are now to a point where we are sabotaging ourselves. We are cutting off our nose to spite our face.

There is no way things can change for the better when this happens.

A further downward spiral is inevitable.

Thank you very much America. You should be embarrassed with yourself.

The Bad In Life Is Good

I sat in a rush hour traffic jam this evening thinking about a number of different things including how odd it is for me to say, "Think of how far I've come?" I was thinking of my personal well being and happiness.

I felt it is odd because the answer varies based on how long of a span within your life you look.

For example: If I compare my life now to 2003 and 2004, my life has come a tremendously long way back from some very dark times to some very happy times. But if I compare my life now to my years in college and soon thereafter, it is about the same. I was pretty happy and content with my life back then too. So I haven't come a long way at all.

Like Obi Won Kanobi said in Jedi, "It's all a matter of how you look at it." That's the quote as I remember it anyway.

Then I thought how I can easily identify the worst time of my life. The worst moment. The worst experience. The worst year. But I can't pinpoint my single best moment, experience or year.

What was better? My wedding? The birth of my daughters? The 1997 Rose Bowl with my Dad? Graduations? First kiss or any other firsts?

I'm extremely fortunate to have a number of experiences that can be thrown in a steel cage match of sorts to battle it out for the top spot.

This led me to comparing my nightmare of 2003-2004 with the dreadful years in middle school. Those middle school "issues" I dealt with seem so petty and overblown in comparison to the heavy stuff I dealt with later. Yet I handled myself so much better through the stress of 03-04. Obviously, being an adult with more perspective helped.

If I looked back on my life in the midst of my family falling apart before my eyes in health and status to my years of near depression in 8th grade, would I have felt I came a long way?

Today's vantage point would lead me to believe that yes, I have come a long way. In fact, it was those two periods of my life that have truly defined who I am. I needed my daughter's health issue to wake me up and force me to grow up and demonstrate better responsibility as a father. This is not to say I was a bad father at that time. It is to say that this experience has brought out the best in me.

The end of my marriage needed to happen for my well being and happiness and I sincerely believe it has led to a better life for my ex and our daughter. Forcing that marriage to continue would have led to a life of indifference and resentment. We have all moved on and have grown to a point that is much more healthy today. There is still more work to be done, but if there wasn't then what will I look to in the future to measure how far I have come from now?

More validation came in the summer of 2008. I dealt with two losses in my life. My grandmother passed and my unborn daughter to be passed away. These experiences happened so close together in May and June that much of the emotion blurs together. But as I left that summer, I had this calm, soothing feeling in my soul. The grieving I did that summer took me to place I needed to be. It was a place I wouldn't have been had I not learned and grown from the other hardships.

One could conceivably say that those worst periods of my life have been the best. The strength they required and the maturity I showed have provided proof that I am a better person than I often think. I used to worry I would fold in tough times. But I can now say I know I won't. I know I didn't in the past.

Tough times don't last. Tough people do.

I'll never think or act like I'd win a fist fight. But I can handle the mental battles that life brings. I can outlast hardship. And I can do what it takes to regain my well-being and happiness.

I can because I did.

Finally, I realize my difficulty pales in comparison to many troubles others have. By no means do I attempt to compare myself to them or compete with them for who has had tougher times. I doubt I could handle many of the things others have dealt with throughout history or around the world as we speak. If anything, my experiences have taught me just how much respect and admiration I have for people dealing with much tougher stresses than I have dealt with in my life.

Traffic, Tressel and Recess

I thought I would post abbreviated versions of these three thoughts on facebook, but figured it would be too long and too much all at once:

Traffic Updates: Why is it every time I am stuck in traffic, listening to the radio, the traffic guy or woman comes on and doesn't mention the jam I am in? Then, when I DO hear about a traffic tie up as I drive through said intersection, I see nothing and there is absolutely no slowdown? Does this happen to others? Is it just me? It happens routinely.

Jim Tressel's Rivalry Behavior: The coach of our dreaded rival up north is experiencing multiple and major stresses up there right now. First, his Wolverines have been losing to substandard opponents (see Appalachian State, a Division I-AA school and Toledo, a MAC school). Secondly, he had to deal with a questionable departure from the University of West Virginia shredding important documents and a contract dispute that led him to be forced to pay back over 3 million dollars. Now he is linked to a bad real estate deal back in Virginia from the time he was an assistant at Clemson.

On top of this, current players are unanimously claiming that Rich Rodriquez is breaking NCAA rules regarding the amount of time he and his staff are requiring the players to practice. In my, and many others, opinion, this is a sign of locker room division and problems in the home so to speak. are players ready to revolt? Many have transferred, even to rival Ohio State.

When approached about these problems, Jim Tressel, coach of the Buckeyes, consistently takes the high road. Despite the bitter rivalry, he has gone so far as to defend Rich Rod by stating that players at this level need to practice more than the allotted time. Of course, he danced clear of any violation stating that this time is completely voluntary and not mandated by him or his coaching staff.

I love this about coach Tressel. Leave the low class, insults to the fans. That is our job. That is our game. We are the ones to talk the smack and trash to the rival fans. Our coach and players need to rise above that and demonstrate respect towards the rival. Just keep beating them down on the field and providing ammunition and statistics for us to cite as we debate our superiority over the other.

If you really think about it, we want that school up north to be violation free and successful. What makes the rivalry engaging and relevant is the prestige of the two schools and the meaning of the games. One reason they play last every year is to help emphasize its importance as they enter bowl season. Many times, championships are on the line for one or both of the programs.

When one school is performing as badly as Michigan or is on probation, it takes a substantial amount of air out of the bubble. The rivalry means much less. Tress knows this. He understands how critical it is that our "enemy" is a force to be reckoned with. He grasps how their success is for our own good. So he continually transcends the "hatred" passed back and forth among the legions of fans.

Obviously, many feel fans too should exert some effort towards showing class and respect. As I grow older I feel more inclined to do so as well. But it doesn't change my view that if trash shall be spoken, it shall be spoken by us.

Recess Football: Don't get me wrong. I love my girls this year. They are a cool group. But.....

The days I have recess duty, it is definitely a pleasure to get out and play some football with the boys. It gives me a chance to get to know the other kids in our grade level which helps me handle hallway behavior. For instance, calling to a child, "Hey! You! Stop that!" is much less effective than saying, "Marquise, come here. Don't do that man. You don't expect me to pass you the rock when you act like this, do you?"

Also, I need some manly activities during my day.

Welcome To Browns Nation Mads

I dressed my youngest in her Cleveland Browns onezie today since it is game day. This is a tradition she will become a part of as a member of my bloodline and lineage. While my oldest remains in a "tug-o-war" between me and her Bungle loyalist on her mother's side, my youngest will be pure.

They both will end up Steeler fans when they hit adolescence and feel the need to rebel against me realizing what will hit home the hardest. But that is another blog post for another day.

Today I get to enjoy the fresh indoctrination of the baby into Brownshood. It is not a joy. There is nothing pleasurable about it really. It is a burden and a job that requires much stamina, patience and intestinal fortitude.

Some call it tough love.

But she will not need to prove her loyalty to anybody. No one will question it when they realize she is a life member of the Cleveland Sports Fan club.

My child, there will be much heartache in your future. You will learn to enter every new season with much anticipation and excitement only to have it stolen from you within minutes of its genesis. Maybe it will be three penalties on the kickoff. Maybe it will be an ugly turnover on the first play from scrimmage after said kickoff. Maybe it will be injuries to several critical starters before the season begins. Maybe it will be a loss despite leading the game when the clock struck 0:00.

Sometimes you will experience moments of seemingly pleasurable excitement only to quickly vanish like a chair pulled from underneath you while you hit the ground to the laughter of everyone.

You will always be ridiculed and out casted by fans of other teams for everything and anything. When the trend is to put down fans for being too obnoxious or over-the-top, you and your fellow fans will be top of the list even though our behavior is no different than most other legions.

When the trend is to make fun of fans that follow teams that lose, once again, you, I and our fellow fans will be at the top of the list despite teams like the Bengals, Lions and Rams that are just as bad or worse.

When it becomes trendy to be loud and crazy for your team, you will be no where near the top of the list.

When it becomes trendy to list all of the dynasties that have existed, your Browns' dynasty in the 50s will be conveniently "irrelevant" and outdated while the Packers in the first two Super Bowls soon after will still be legit.

And when the one thing you and I can stake claim to, heartbreak, is the trend.....again, we will be somewhere on the bottom of the list behind the "lovable losers," Chicago Cubs and the Seattles and Arizonas of the world.

You won't be able to win for losing.

Your sister, cousins, uncle and I are used to it.

Come. Join us in our misery.

(or at least mine)