Teaching Teams

I had an observer in my room the other day who has had me thinking ever since.  I welcome visitors in my room and don't shy away from asking their opinion.

So I did.

She commented on how much she liked the way public schools use teams or cooperative learning so seamlessly.  She had observed other classrooms before visiting mine and saw that it was a trend, not a unique characteristic of my particular room.  I know one of the other teachers she observed at another school and I know she is the best of the best math teachers I have ever worked with and have patterned much of what I do after her. I think of her as my model or teacher I hope to be some day.

I'm a big believer of teaching in teams.  I don't follow the desk in rows set up unless there is some need to implement a change in management for discipline reasons or whatever and even then, it is always temporary and still incorporating some cooperative learning strategies.

Teaching in teams is part of the fabric of my classroom.  It is used throughout the day for everything.  I have done this since day one of year one of teaching and I am very confident in its effectiveness and comfortable in using it.  I believe to use it effectively, it needs to be consistent and it needs to become natural like breathing.

My objective is to create a learning experience that hits numerous senses and hits the brain numerous times.  The students hear the content, see the content, speak the content, write the content, show the content while thinking about the content each of those times.

They learn how to interact and develop their own strategies for interacting in a way most comfortable to them and most effective as they make mistakes, find successes, deal with uncooperative teammates, cooperative teammates, present to a larger group, figure out how to make their voice heard and so on.

I had a conversation with my brother a long time ago when I first started teaching. He is a brilliant accountant that works harder than anyone I know and has worked all over the world.  I trust his opinion. So I asked him what skills he believes are important for me to instill in my students.  Stuff I can foster in elementary school.

He said to teach them how to work with people in a group.  He said it has to go deeper than just "getting along," even though that is critical and there are some kids that do need to overcome that hurdle first.  He said that he works with people all the time and needs to be able to make his voice heard and listen to other views and be able to synthesize and apply the ideas and knowledge from multiple perspectives.

So how do I do this?

I figured that they have to learn by doing it and doing it often.  Every personality is different and we all have different strengths and weaknesses in terms of our interpersonal skills.  So I can't really tell them how to do it.  I can't lecture it to them. I can only show them so much as well.  They need to get dirty and do it and work through the awkwardness of it.

It is important to understand I do not mean "group work" or "group projects." It is too easy for students to just rely on one student to do all the work.  What I mean is that students sit at a table together and I create discussion.  They "do" activities together.  But the assignments are often done on their own, individually. For me, the critical component is the talking that has to happen. I try to sit with groups and guide discussion. I try to include as many open ended questions as possible that can have multiple answers.

Having students for two years these last years at my new school has helped tremendously as I have seen growth in this area.  It is something that is hard to quantify and put on a report card or measure. I've noticed it is easier to see the fruits in year two.

I take pride in how I use this strategy.  I see so many good teachers around me and think, "Man, I don't that as well.  I stink at that.  This teacher is awesome.  I really need to work on that or this."

Then I have moments where I can talk to outsiders that may not necessarily compliment but share an observation that hits on a technique I try real hard to do well.  I realize, "Maybe it isn't so bad in Mr. H's room after all."

39 Thanks

Today I turn 39 and thought I would list 39 things I am grateful to have or have done or have had in my life to this point.  It is a take from the daily gratitudes of November except this has a longer range.  I tried to make those points of gratitude apply to the present each day, this time around I am living totally in the past.

So let's get it started:

1. My parents who have been positive role models and who have instilled an importance of open mindedness and acceptance, compassion and caring.

2. My siblings who have been fun to hang out with and supportive in times of need.

3.  The woods behind my house that provided endless hours of fun growing up playing war, building forts, tiltalling, first kiss and countless other memories.

4. High school was fun.  Middle school sucked, but high school was a great three years I would do all over again if I could.

5. So many friendships over the years that I still cherish.  It can be difficult having a diverse set of friends because you have to be able to see past things you disagree about and be able to find a way to accept each other's shortcomings but somehow I have been able to gain and maintain a number of friendships to varying degrees for a long time now and I appreciate the good fortune that they were able to accept me.

6. Torrey's Field up the street was a place we played football, baseball, soccer and God knows what else year round without knowing who it truly belonged to.  It was a host to countless games and a parade of people we would bring through.

7. Later in my childhood someone built a house in Torrey's field and we started playing football after school over at Chillicothe park.  There were evenings we would have so many people that we had four full games going at once.  It was so fun that 20 years later at my high school reunion, one friend brought it up and how much he loved playing.  He showed me a scar he swore was from a time I tackled him.  He was and is 2 times bigger than me.  Those were my glory days. 

8. I didn't have many girlfriends, I was very awkward --surprise!- but I am grateful for the relationships I had.  There were some really cool girls there, all leading me to my one and only wife.

9. I should probably use this one for Vicki.  I am extremely grateful for the woman who was a friend and now a partner.  She returned in my life at a time that I needed her (and I'd like to think she needed me) and she has taught me much about many things as well as helping me learn or see a number of things for myself.  I appreciate her everyday.

10. The most fun I have had in life would be my years at OSU.  I had numerous goals for myself professionally and socially for those years and pretty much accomplished them all.  I set myself up for the future while enjoying what it all had to offer.

11. Phantom Band is one of those college experiences I will cherish forever.  Particularly the year we led the whole damn thing.  THAT seriously was my one shining moment.  The power we had over so many people was intoxicating.

12. 85 was another part of my college experience that I hold dear.  My roommates at 85 are some of the coolest, best kind of people I have ever met.

13. Ohio State sports has provided happiness where Cleveland sports have provided misery.  THANK GOD for the Buckeyes.

14. Amidst this happiness is the 2002 National Championship.  The only title any of my teams have earned.  I don't count Alabama because they are a secondary team.  Yes, I was pumped to watch the Tide win their titles, but they aren't my home state, alma mater or home city.

15. The 1997 Rose Bowl was my senior year and my Dad and I took a trip to Pasadena that we still reminisce about to this day.  It was a very cool time with my Dad and the game was epic.  Joe Germaine to David Boston on a little square out in the front of the end zone and TBDBITL playing "Carmen, Ohio" right in front of us as I looked to the misty scoreboard reading the final score are visions firmly planted in my memory.

16. Cedar Point is a place I loved growing up and still do.  The fact that my oldest loves roller coasters as she does warms my heart.

17. Road trips in college were awesome.  The Kentucky Derby, Penn State, Ann Arbor, NYC, Indy for the NCAA tourney, IUP, OU and many others.

18. Fantasy football has been a nightmare this season but it has provided a nice safety net to keep my interest in the NFL going after the Browns inevitable annual flame out.

19. Former students have returned over the years to say "hi."  I am grateful I have made enough of a positive impression to earn visits.  It is cool to hear how they are doing years later.

20. I am appreciative of any good moments with my students.  Simple moments of conversations to accomplishments to visits, to goodbyes to inside jokes to sharing memories to seeing their growth from the time we first meet to the time they leave.

21. My health has been pretty good.  I appreciate how low maintenance things have been for me so far.  I hope that continues.

22. I love softball.  I have been playing for decades now and I know I won't be able to forever.  I am very grateful for all the seasons and memories and teams and people that have been a part of my experiences playing softball.

23. I am grateful for learning.  There is an abundance of learning to be done and I enjoy doing so.

24. I am thankful for music. all kinds for all moods and all occasions.

25. Star Wars was a huge part of my childhood and I enjoy sharing it with my kids now.

26. I am grateful for social media.  Thanks to Facebook and my blog, I have been able to engage with many friends about many different things.  I have rekindled old friendships that otherwise, I would not have been able to do. I have been able to stay in touch with extended family. It makes things easy and quick and fun.

27. I appreciate my in laws welcoming me to their family and treating me as family as well as my oldest daughter.  Without flinching or questioning, they fluidly and seamlessly included us very comfortably despite the challenges that come with that.

28. I love Columbus.  It is my new home.  My heart will always have a space saved for Cleveland, but Columbus is my home.

29. Thankful for this house and this neighborhood.  It is what I always envisioned for me when I "grew up."  So I guess I'm grown up.  Hmm

30. Obviously, I am grateful for my paycheck.  I live a good life.  I try not to take it for granted.

31. Much like above, I am thankful for my health insurance.  I have known people who don't have any and it is HARD.  I have been fortunate to transition from one to another pretty easily and with three kids, one with a health condition, it has been a luxury.

32. St. Thomas Aquinas was a church I have written about before.  It played a large role in shaping who I am today.I felt like they got it right.  Unfortunately, they didn't pull in enough money for the Catholic church to continue to support it, so it closed.  Figures.  Another brick in the wall.  But I appreciate the time I had there and the people I met and I hope they knew how influential they were.

33. I am thankful for the care of Children's Hospital in Columbus.  I have had to spend extended periods of time there on numerous occasions and it has been very difficult but they have done well.  I appreciate the help in caring for my daughter and trying to figure out what to do.

34. Thankful for luck.  I have been very lucky when it comes to important things.  My bad luck has fortunately been in regards to minor issues that I have been able to recover from relatively easily.

35. I have fond memories of trips to Alabama.  We would go to this pond and row around playing pirates or whatever.  We would dock on a shore and run into the surrounding woods to play whatever mission we were on at that time.  They were meant to fishing so i am sure we looked dumb as hell, but my Dad never seemed to care and encouraged it, so we did.  That was great.

36. A timely gratitude would be rivalries.  I love the intensity of OSU and the TTUN.  I love what once was with the Browns and Steelers and the hope that someday it returns.

37.  I am thankful for my current boss.

38. I am thankful for rock shows and friends who introduce to me to good rock bands.

39.  My three kids are treasures. I can't end this list without the three little ones I adore.

It goes without saying, I am a wealthy man.  This list could be doubled and more. I am grateful for that as well.

Why am I Still Doing This?

Each passing school year has become more and more difficult. The pressure continues to increase with only more to come.

From the point of view of someone on the inside who has been in education for over 15 years, it feels as though the wrong things are emphasized, the time, energy and money is not being spent efficiently or effectively, more is expected with less support given while the support was minimal in the first place.

It is difficult to argue or to defend our position as educators because it looks selfish on the surface.  The issues surrounding education keep getting simplified to a point that distort the reality.

Teaching and learning go hand in hand. 

Maybe I should write it this way: Good teaching and good learning go hand in hand.

Teachers try to make the learning experience better but it is often mistaken for making the teaching experience better and therefore, appears selfish and not in the students' best interest.  When in fact, since the two are so closely linked, better teaching experience leads to better learning experience and vice versa.

Therefore, stripping resources from the teaching only hurts the learning.  Stripping resources from the learning only hurts the teaching.

I think of when I go to Subway.  I order a sandwich and then pick and choose what items they add to the meat and cheese.  There isn't a standardized amount I get of each item.  It varies depending on the person behind the counter.  For example, one girl always drowns my sandwich in lettuce and another puts just the right amount.  I bet there is a Subway somewhere that would put very little.  They also do not record how much or what I specifically get.  They track my purchases with that rewards card, but not the items on the sandwich.

What if tracking that data helped maximize profits by informing them how much to buy or have in stock?  That would extend my stay in line.  Customer service would be sacrificed.  They would need to hire more help to keep things moving.  My time in line plays a large role in whether I frequent their business.

In education, we are doing this.  We are collecting more and more data.  On the surface it looks good.  It helps drive our instruction and know what the students need and helps maximize what we teach. We can't argue against it or we look lazy like we don't want to do more work and we have summers off so who are we to complain?

But what isn't being talked about or understood is that our "customer service" or teaching actually is compromised.  Less time is able to be spent on actual instruction so that this data collection takes place.  It defeats the purpose. 

Extra help isn't hired and more success is expected.  It is like that Subway worker having to spend more time typing in items in the computer but being expected to serve the customers in the less time in order to improve customer satisfaction without any extra help.

So why am I still doing this?

Why am I staying in this profession that is vastly different than when I started, which was already changing from how the generation before me was teaching and not necessarily all for the better?

I didn't do this to crunch data.   I would have and could have gone into accounting. I am perfectly capable of doing that.  Most teachers I know are intelligent, hard workers that could be working in professions that pay more and do so successfully.

But we all chose to do this instead.

Why?

For me, that reason happened a couple weeks ago.  It wasn't happening at all this year before that class on that Friday afternoon. I enjoyed it frequently last year and the year before. But not this year.

It wasn't a glowing moment of an old student returning.  It wasn't some award.  It wasn't a compliment from a parent.  It wasn't a great evaluation from my boss.

It had nothing to do with data or tests or grades or planning or recess or any of that.

It was the kids.

The one thing that keeps me there year after year is the students. 

They can be frustrating, cause me to lose hair and years off my life.

But they also contribute to the unspoken, indescribable feeling we get all get when that invisible learning happens. 

I suppose I can describe it and it is visible in an abstract way, but not directly.

I love Math.  I love making the students figure "big boy" and "big girl" Math on their own.That Friday and several times since, I have found myself getting lost in the lesson.  I blocked out all that is happening outside my room without realizing it.

It is difficult to articulate.

But when this happens, my excitement becomes contagious.  I see it in the students' eyes and that energizes me. Suddenly, other students who were slumped over start to slowly perk up.  I see them start to rise out of their seats and even stand.

I don't stop them.

Several students start to blurt out answers, ideas and even extending questions and I don't stop them.

This doesn't happen often.  But it happens.

I swear you can see light bulbs hover above their heads.

This feeling begins to spread.  You can see it.   Positive peer pressure kicks in at this point and this is where it thrives.

Students actually WANT to be part of the excitement around the room.  It is more engaging than anything else I have tried.

Math becomes fun without any bells and whistles, just emotion. They see my excitement and then other students' excitement and once we hit critical mass, the majority of the class is up and begging for more math.

I love that.  I absolutely love that. I truly believe more learning takes place in those moments than ever. It sounds like choas on the outside or a class out of control, which may be true, but it is all good inside. Better than ever in my opinion.

It makes my job so much fun.

 I need to plan well.  I need to assess effectively.  I do need to collect and use data.  I get it. But that isn't why I am doing this.

For me, it is about my time in that room with those students going crazy over Math or the book I am reading aloud.  It is intoxicating.

“Education is not preparation for life, education is life itself.” - John Dewey

Enjoying The Present

A fellow educator has been posting a number of thought provoking things of late and one has motivated me to expand and share on the thoughts it provoked with me.

The post he shared was mostly about how the character one gains from winning or losing is more important than the result or the trophy, ribbon, medal and so on that you receive.

I feel much the same.  The confidence you build, the relationships you build along the way, the lessons you may learn in what you did wrong and how to improve it or the success you had and how to repeat it are other valuable components to the experience that matter more than a trophy.

But my thoughts meandered somewhere else as they often do for me.  I connected these thoughts to my own personal experiences that can be related.

Coincidentally, I just unpacked some trophies of mine and wanted to display them.  I also unpacked a number of awards my daughter has earned through Special Olympics and at school.

They have been boxed up for a long time.  I lived all those years just fine without them. Why did I feel the need to display them?

For my daughter, it was a matter of demonstrating my pride in her.  I felt it was important that she had an opportunity to feel proud of herself and see her father was proud and valued that pride enough to want to display her successes and accomplishments. 

For now, let's compartmentalize that and put it aside as another topic regarding parenting.

Why did I feel the need to display soccer, bowling and softball trophies with my other sports memorabilia? Who cares? Do I?

My initial answer is that I have always been stubborn about my feelings like I need to prove their validity by sticking with them through time even if I have moved on. 

So naturally, I feel this need to validate the pride I felt years ago when my coach called me up in front of the team to present my trophy and complimented my constant hustle.  If I let that go, then it never happened. 

This is how I have handled many things in life.  I get stuck in the past in an effort to validate it or prove I was right.

Does it matter though?

The object that is the trophy probably means little.  The memory attached to it is the important part, I would say, assuming the character, confidence, relationships and other invisible traits or personal attributes that came from that experience are intact. Since the memory is worth something, and the trophy reminds me of that memory, than I guess the trophy is important in that respect.

But if we separated the memory and the object, the trophy, means little to me personally.

So if we are to assume I never lose the memory, would the memory in and of itself matter?

Let's say I forgot that season ever happened and I did not have that stubborn need to hang on to old feelings to validate them, would any of it matter? 

Again, all the invisible traits and growth from the experience aside, if I lived without the memory and I didn't know I didn't have he memory, who cares?

Isn't the only negative part of forgetting is knowing you forgot it?  Or the fear of forgetting something you currently remember?

If you didn't know you forgot the memory, then you would never feel the loss. Therefore, does it really matter?

It is not even the memory that is important anymore.  You can live without it just fine.  Losing that memory hurts. But not having it means nothing as long as the things you leanred from it are still there and part of you in that independent abstract form that you can't connect to the memory because it is a behavior or a trait or a habit.

This is one aspect f many things I have been thinking about as I unpack things that were once important and I expected to be important now but, really, are not. At first, there is a feeling of loss. Then a feeling of liberation. Being able to let go of some stuff realizing it isn't as important as the stuff happening right now was refreshing.  Difficult but refreshing.

It is hard to let go without feeling like I am betraying myself. My old self. Letting the positive memories and attributes of my past go is like letting them die.

But why? And why does it matter now if they do?

It doesn't.  Not those objects anyway.

I think of the numerous things I have read lately about living in the present.  This is a concept my Father tried to convey to me several years ago as he was learning to do so and wanted to share with me. 

Letting go of the past and avoiding the worry of the future is a big step towards living a better life in this way of thinking. It seemed like a lot at the time, but I am now appreciating it more.

It is interesting how this theme runs through numerous philosophies and religions and cultures.  I keep hearing, reading or finding it or variations of it.  That must mean something.

Naturally, this brings me to a topic I think of frequently: the afterlife.

If one doesn't know of the afterlife, does it matter?

If there is no afterlife, will it matter when we die and we are unaware because we are, dead?

The only time it matters is in the "life" and since we are presently in our life, the presence of life after death or lack thereof means nothing right now. It will only matter when it happens and if it doesn't happen, it won't matter bcause not only will we not experience the afterlife, we won't experience NOT having life after death.

Like realizing it is knowing the loss that matters and not the loss itself, releasing yourself from knowing the loss minimizes the pain of losing if not eliminates it.

New Title

The blog has a new title.

What was once named "Huey" because it was a blog about me and my experiences to share with anyone interested, is now "A Diary Of Lost In Between."

It comes from a song called, "Knifeman" by The Bronx.  The lyric is technically, "this is a diary of life in between," but I didn't want to totally rip them off.  Plus, "lost" gives it a feeling of the unknown which is the direction I wanted to go in.

It still may be about Huey, but the essence of  the blog, "Huey," is the idea that I'm "lost in between." And the blog is about being there...in between.  Lost. Not really knowing.

So while I continue to post about the questions I constantly ask myself, it will become obvious that I am not sure where it is I stand on much of anything and often change.

The best part, in my opinion, is that those of you who know me may even disagree with this title.  I may be more aware of where I am than the majority of you.  Sometimes I feel this is the case. And this is the not so hidden objective of the blog: to get you to think of your opinion and stance and hopefully spark dialogue either on this forum or, as it usually goes, face to face when we interact together.

Enjoy.  

Or don't.

But I hope you tell me either way.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and the 1997 Rose Bowl

There is a line in a classic Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers' song, "Running Down a Dream," that I heard tonight on my iPod while running.

It went something like this:

"The trees went by, me and Del were singing little Runaway. I was flyin'."

My Dad referenced this line while we were in California for a week around New Year's 1997 for the Rose Bowl. We were either on Ventura Blvd, passing an exit for it or just talking about it and how Petty mentioned it in Free Fallin' off this same album, "Full Moon Fever," when he cited the lyric above.

I honestly can't remember why or how these were connected in the context of our conversation.

What I can remember is a ton of great memories from that trip with my Father.

It was my senior year at The Ohio State University.  I was on target to graduate on time in the Spring despite some scary academic moments earlier in which my Dad lit me up. 

He was pretty laid back with discipline growing up until it came to grades.  School brought out the dictator, authoritative, drill sergeant in him. Therefore, the hideous grades I came home with after one quarter living off campus caused him to rear his ugly head.

So with the #4 Buckeyes matched up with #2 Arizona State (this was pre-BCS), and my love of football and OSU, it was a perfect opportunity to celebrate the turnaround and generously present me with an epic graduation/birthday/Christmas gift.

Obviously, I was in a prolonged state of euphoria over this.

Nearly every Rose Bowl since I have made a point to call my Dad and remind him how thankful I am for that gift and that trip.  It has become a nice tradition of mine that I take a good bit of pride in. 

In almost every call, one of us recalls our surprise about how many people out in Pasadena cared more about the parade than the game.  While we were there for the game and considered the parade so much of an after thought that we didn't even make an effort to get to Colorado Blvd in time, there were people lining the streets the night before just to secure a good spot for the Rose Bowl Parade the following morning.

I vividly remember talking to a mother and her son at a pizza place on New Year's Eve.  They asked if we were from out of town and we responded, "Yes. We are from Ohio."

Naturally, that would tip off our reason to be there: The game.

Her response?

Something like, "Oh that is a long way to come for the parade.  But we have people here from the east coast too.  It IS a great parade, isn't it?"

Uh. Yeah. Sure.

After we said we came for the game, she asked, "What game?"

WHAT GAME!?

****************************

Another odd experience was the location of the Rose Bowl stadium itself.  It was in the beautiful mountains, but what surprised me was that is was surrounded by residential streets.  We literally walked through a neighborhood to and from our car.

Weird.

****************************

That New Year's Eve night was a cool scene. The streets were buzzing with people for the parade the next day. Music was playing.  The weather was warm. 

We went to an underground movie theater to catch a movie before the midnight, New Year's celebration. 

Not underground like a hidden, Indie film house or anything cool like that.  But literally a theater under the ground.  There was an escalator to the doors.

The movie?

Jerry Macquire.

Meh.

 Lame choices.  That was the best option.

It had football in it.  We were in a football state of mind.

******************************

During the trip, my Dad and I spent a good bit of time in Los Angeles.

It is from both my parents that I get my appreciation and interest in college campuses.  So we paid a visit to UCLA to check out the different sites, walking around to take in the sites.  I remember very little to be honest, but it was cool.

We went to The Comedy Store.  If I remember right, it was on Sunset.  There was a two drink minimum and my Dad "warned" me what that meant and how he could "help."

No need. I laugh still thinking about that. Minimum was not a problem.

We then tried to get in to the House of Blues. Cypress Hill was playing. I was pretty amped to check them out. It wouldn't have been the first rap show my Dad and I attended together as funny as that may sound.  That was old hat.

Unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately) it was sold out by the time we got there. People were pouring out of the door.

******************************

Anyone who is a Buckeye knows how epic that game was.

OSU goes down 17-14 with just over a minute to go with a shoddy kicker at best. Looked like Jake "The Snake" Plummer had done it again. A late game score to win.

But two pass interference flags later our Buckeyes were on the doorstep.

Then Germaine to Boston on a beautiful little fake to the inside then flare out to the sideline for the game winning TD.

I can still see that play in my head along with the misty view of the scoreboard with Ohio State 20 and Arizona State 17 as the best damn band in the land plays all the classics in the corner of the endzone where we were sitting.

It was perfect.

******************************

There was this lady sitting next to me. to this day I swear she was an angel sent to be there for me.

While I went through my normal progression of emotions to sheer insanity, my Dad continued to live in the moment.  This wasn't his first rodeo. He watched me grow up and into this intensity over my teams.

He had witnessed my whole range. Par for the course. Another day at the office.

In fact, just the year before I was home to watch The Game (OSU v Ann Arbor for those of you not in the know), and we got into a heated argument as Tim Biakabutuka ran for 313 yards on our defense leading Ann Arbor to an upset win. I think it ended with another episode of me walking up the street in socks.

But this lady had an odd ability to calm me and provided this sense of optimism I had never felt before.

I'm not one for the Bible or crazy religion, but I am open about my belief in the supernatural.

She was supernatural. She had me believing Joe Cool Germaine would lead our Buckeyes to victory on that last drive.

Haven't felt that way since.  Even in the 2002 Title Game, I never felt like it would end my way like I did that day in hazy Pasadena, California. 

Adam and Eve, Kris Humphries, Hair Curlers, Baseball Equipment, Job Interviews, Women

Have had a jing bang mess of things on my mind of late.  I would like to share them with you.

Adam and Eve
So if we are to believe in the Bible, Genesis in particular (oh if only I meant Phil Collins), and go with this story of Adam and Eve as the start of the human population.....then that means we are all products of incest.

That would actually explain a lot, wouldn't it?

President Obama and Gay Marriage
After North Carolina voters decided they did not want to join the 21st century and voted for marriage NOT to be based  totally in love and devotion but by physical anatomy, President Obama came out (uhhhhh...) and make a public announcement that he supported gay marriage to the cheers of the gay communities and many liberals around the country.

In the end, I am not so sure what I think of this in and of itself being an election year and I still vividly recall a Presidential debate last time around in which he sidestepped the issue with the cop out claim that he personally felt it was to be between a man and a woman although the law shouldn't make a distinction.  Going off memory here means I could be incorrect, but my point is that I can't help but be skeptical about this and its timing.

What bothers me is that this is STILL an issue. I STILL have to hear how gay marriage somehow "threatens" an institution that is already on life support.

Over half of straight marriages don't carry out what marriage is meant to be: a lifelong commitment.

I have lost count of how many marriages I, alone, have witnessed that have ended or have had extra marital affairs and I am not even 40!

It is pathetic.

The same people that devoutly "defend" marriage from those "aggressive" gays, flock to watch  Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets and his sham of a marriage to some woman in Los Angeles on TV.

Kim something or other?  I hear she is pretty popular with the kids.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez is on marriage 17 or whatever and everyone loves her.  Magazine covers are filled with her pretty face.

Kids are growing up seeing this and are desensitized to the idea of broken marriages.

Marriages have become disposable.  An excuse to get dressed up, have a party, maybe have a kid.

Yet gays are the threat.

No homosexual I know is looking to take anything away from those of us and our holy straight marriages.  It isn't one or the other.  Gays won't take over the world.

But heaven forbid!

Hair Curlers
The other day on my drive into work, I saw a woman in hair curlers in the car next to me.  This was the 5th time within a week I saw a woman doing something to "get ready" in the car, on her way somewhere.

I realize this is common, but it was weird that I witnessed it so many times in a short period of time because I usually don't.

Most odd to me was the hair curlers.  I never see that. My wife doesn't use curlers in her hair. So while I am used to seeing the whole make up prep and flat hair thing, curlers are something I don't see often anymore.

So is it something women do and I am not privy to it, or has it gone out of style?

Token Politics
Say what you want, all legitimate reasons aside, but I can't bring myself to vote for a dude named after a baseball glove.

I'm sure there is a joke somewhere in there but I can't think of it.

Oh yeah and until I see a birth certificate......

Job Interviews
I have had two job interviews in front of panels.  I was offered and accepted positions after both.

To this day, I find myself still trying to live up to the resume I sent and the answers I gave to the their questions.

I still feel this internal pressure to prove myself to those people.  I doubt they even care anymore or remember what I said, but I haven't and I don't like the idea that they may regret selecting me over the other candidates because I didn't live up to the "hype."

One of the people who interviewed me at my current job was with me at a professional development last week and made a comment that it felt like I had been teaching there longer than two years.  He said he meant it as a good thing.  He meant that I have fit in so well that the comfort level is more than one would expect after only two years.

I will take that as some validation.

It doesn't exactly relate to the answers I gave or career highlights laid out on a piece of paper, but it probably means the guy doesn't think it was a total mistake hiring me.

War on Women
Seems like every topic in the media today has to be a "war" on something.

We have the "War on Traditional Marriage." As I already stated, this is a freaking joke. To be at war, you have to attack something and gays are not attacking anybody.  They aren't looking to take anything from anybody, but to have the same pursuit of happiness that straight couples have.

Marriage isn't a club where you can post a sign on your door for your little sister, "No Girls Allowed."

Come on, we're adults here.

But this isn't my point.

The media also likes to throw out headlines about this "War on Women."

I bring this up because this time of year I find myself reflecting on 2008 when I lost my grandmother in May and then my baby girl, Mallory, in June before she was born.

It was a unique situation because we knew we were going to lose her before we did.

It was extremely difficult.

The experience challenged my prior ideas of abortion.  But it wasn't black and white and it didn't give me any answers.  If anything, it muddied the water even more.

Was it a baby at that time? Is that life? Did she have a soul? Should I have grieved as I did or was I being over dramatic?

For the record, I am not a Bible guy.  I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I prefer free thinking based on multiple resources, logic and reason.  So my approach throughout this was to examine what I believed in my heart and soul.

This experience, the decisions we had to make, the medical procedure that was done after she passed, the emotional roller coaster, opened my eyes that people on the outside have no business telling others how to handle this stuff.

Our experience was unique. I wish there were zero abortions.  But to be be 100% pro life when the whole issue is such a diverse, complicated myriad of situations, is short sighted in my opinion.

And to demonize birth control is not right. I personally find it contradicting and extreme to categorize it as abortion itself.

But people who have little to no experience will make the decisions for the rest of us I guess.

We Compete in Room 5

In my classroom I do not shy away from competition. 

It has been said that competition is not good for the classroom.  There is a trend in which everybody gets ribbons just for participating. We seem to try to cushion kids from losing.

I believe there is a good bit that can be learned from losing.

I believe it creates a teachable moment that an educator can use if done correctly.

We will all lose at some point in life.  What is more important? 

That we lost or how we handle the loss?

That we won? Or how we handle the victory?

I believe in creating a classroom environment that encourages one another, pushes one another, works with one another and does not fear competition,

When my students enter the "real world" they will compete.  They will compete for jobs, accounts, promotions, customers and more.

The important thing I want my students to take from me is the value of hard work.  I want them to understand that wallowing in a pity party or giving up and quiting because they did not succeed immediately is not acceptable.

I want them to understand that losing is not the end of the world.

In fact, I want them to understand it is OK.

I want them to realize it is how they handle the loss that dictates their success.

Will they work harder and try again until they reach their goal?

If I succeed, they will.

Therefore, I do not shy away from losing in my classroom.  While we celebrate victories no matter how small in a MAJOR way and we do not hesitate to be proud and show our pride, we also acknowledge our losses.

We then identify what needs to improve and we work to improve it.

So now I bring you to our current Math concept.  We are learning how to convert fractions to percents.  There are several common fractions/percents I want them to memorize.  In my life, I have benefited from just knowing the percentages of certain common fractions like 4ths and 5ths and 8ths and so on.

So we have made flashcards and the students have practiced memorizing them.  You may remember an old game we used to play in school called Around the World.  Two students would race to answer an operation problem first.  The winner moves on while the loser sits.  At the end, many students are sitting in different seats than their own.

Those of us who were competitive would count out how many seats everyone moved to see who moved the most and "won."

I do a similar thing in the first 10 minutes of Math to open the lesson.

But I have my students sit in teams for numerous reasons.

So I have each team compete for a "team champ."

Since I teach a split which means half 4th graders and half 5th graders, each team champ competes for a "grade champ."

Then we compete for a "class champ."

It is quite fun.

Since my class is used to competition and have been taught how to compete with sportsmanship and positive support and not to freak out over losing since there will be plenty of opportunities to win in the future, we really get into it.

There is a ton of cheering and pats on the back.  I love to see classmates console the student who loses.  I love to hear them beg to have more time to study up on their flashcards before we play again to get them in their head.

In fact.....

It reminds me a lot of this:

Not quite as loud....but almost.

Those Viral 6 Picture Things: Here's One Of My Own

This is an awfully egocentric post but the URL for my blog should have tipped you off in the first place so this one is on you. 

For those of you still reading, I admit I get a kick out of those pictures floating around Facebook and the like. Those of you that can't stand them or are already tired of them, proceed to the exit.  Those of you STILL here, check out some of my favorites that you may or may not have seen:

One that relates to me:

Classic taking me back to my childhood love of Star Wars:

I thought I would make one myself but I have no idea how to use that template.  My first idea, teachers, has been taken; so I figured I could do something personal so that no one could beat me to it.

Hence, I give you "Basketball Huey"

Basketball Huey

What my friends think I look like:

Probably more accurately, check out this link:

http://youtu.be/cvOm7dPS0Uw

What my Mom thinks I look like:

What my brother said I looked like back in the day:

What opponents think I look like:

What innocent spectators think I look like: (I'm the white guy)

What my sister-in-law WISHED I looked like (free tickets):

What the players at St. Thomas Aquinas kept saying I looked like (back in high school):

What my middle school students back in Cleveland thought I looked like:

What my wife thinks I look like:

What I think I look like:

What I really look like:

There you have it.  Hope you got a kick out of it and friends and family "in the know" caught some of the inside jokes.

Patience Shows The Reason For The Journey

My wife and I came to an "out loud" realization today that had we not lost our first baby, we would not have our son.

It was a weird thought for me.

When we first experienced the reality that we were losing our first child after over 20 weeks of excitement and planning, the sorrow was intense. We were lucky that there were no lasting problems or scary health issues with my wife, but we lost what we thought of as our child even if it was mostly in our thoughts and dreams.

At the time, many questions were raised in my head regarding when life starts and ends. Where does our soul come from? Should I feel sorrowful for losing someone I never met? Was I being a drama queen?

Since then I continue to reflect on these kinds of questions, but have found no answers.  Honestly, I am not sure I want to because the hunt is more fun than the destination in my opinion.

More importantly, my sorrow has become more distant. We have had two successful pregnancies and two healthy children.  The pain of that summer has become more of a memory than a feeling.

Now we come to the thought that had we not lost Mallory, we would not have our son who is a tangible, visible being in front of us that we can hold and kiss and interact with everyday.

Had Mallory made it, we would have theoretically had our daughter and then called it quits as we have after our son because two children was our predetermined limit.

This means three daughters of my own and two daughters for my wife and me.  While this is great, I have repeatedly thought to myself over the past year how much I love having a boy.  All those cheesy ideas of throwing the baseball with my boy (see Field of Dreams), the father-son song by Harry Chapin, helping him though adolescence and giving advice how to handle calling girls for the first time have been so enjoyable to think and dream about.

Plus, changing things up has been nice after two girls.

My parenting really won't be much different. I purposely try not to be gender restrictive with my kids. He will be who he will be, and I enjoy playing catch with my daughters so I would have with Mallory as well. 

Still, there is this little guy I love dearly that probably wouldn't be here had Mallory been here.

Then again, there is this little girl I would have loved dearly who isn't here.

We say everything happens for a reason.  Could the loss and its pain have happened so that I could have this wonderful joy of a son?  Is that the reason?

Does the end justify the means?  Or maybe, does the end justify the journey?  Should I feel guilty about this?

Do I feel guilty?

In the end, things happen and none of this has been in my complete control.  I didn't do anything to lose Mallory and there was nothing I could have done to save her.

I feel the way I feel whether I like it or not. I don't believe I can control my true emotions but rather the way I express them.

While I obviously created my son, I had no control over his biological sex. Well, I have no idea how to control my Y chromosome to determine his biological sex anyway.

So it seems to me that I should revel in the joy I have with a son and appreciate the fact that things happened this way.  There was a lot of pain and now there is a lot of joy and fun.  The pain needed to happen to get here.

I will let God or the Universe or my Higher Power (take your pick, I'm an open minded guy) worry about souls and what would have been.  I will be grateful for my family and the boy I can raise with my girls.

Everything happens for a reason.

(Pan towards the sky with "Cats in the Cradle" playing in the background.)

My Personal Issue Two Perspective

I would like to make a plea to those on the fence regarding Issue Two in Ohio this 2011 November election.  This is not for those already secure in their stance. Save the arguments for Facebook please. 

This is for anyone who is not sure where they stand on this or are interested in the details behind my stance.

I am an educator not a firefighter, nurse or police officer.  I cannot discuss this Issue in their terms.  I want this to be genuine and sincere and honest.  So I am going to discuss my opinion based on my experience in education that spans over 14 years.

I will not cite numbers that can be spun in numerous ways or articles with other people's opinions and I will not refer to any union flyers or commercials.  This is directly from me and my experience and I would like to think my area of knowledge.

In addition, I write from the perspective of a father. I have a daughter with special needs. Education is critical to any hope of her being independent. Emergency Medical Squads have been critical in her well being and possibly her survival.

The economics behind the bill that has led to Issue Two can be debated and has been debated endlessly.  There are valid points on both sides, but I want to explore what is beyond the economics although they are inevitably linked.

At its core, this bill eliminates collective bargaining.  Collective bargaining is used to negotiate our salaries and benefits but it is also used to negotiate countless other things for and by the teachers. These things include class size, updated textbooks, resources and technology in the classroom, assistants and support staff, planning time, teacher training, instructional time, among others including a voice to work with the school board to advocate for these things and the good of the students.

There have been studies that have shown class size does not affect student achievement significantly and others that show it does. The reason is that teachers' instructional strategies and effectiveness play a large role and the two are intertwined. If the class size is small but the teacher just passes out worksheets and teaches rote memorization, then student achievement is not going to increase.

But I want to stick to my own experience.  I have taught in Ohio my whole career.  When I began teaching, my class exceeded 30 and I had no help whatsoever.  In my years since, I have had smaller classes.  My students test scores an grades have been significantly better in the smaller classes.  This could be due to my improvement and growth as a teacher, but even that is tied to the smaller size in that I was able to do small group instruction much easier.  This led to more individualized instruction for the students that needed it and opportunities for others to work independently.

Our unions push to keep class sizes low. 

From the perspective of a father, I have witnessed my daughter in a large class and in a small class.  She struggled tremendously in the classroom with a large number of classmates. With her deficits, it is crucial that she gets as much one on one attention that she can.  She is now in a much smaller class and has been thriving within her disability.

It is extremely important to me that the door isn't open to increase her class size and lose the momentum she has gained.

Another example is the support staff that my students have the benefit of the past two years.  I teach a split classroom.  This mean I am teaching two different grades at the same time.  It is very challenging and at times, I feel like I am losing my mind.  But with the support staff that has been in my room, we have been able to effectively keep things differentiated and provide direction attention. My test scores have been better than any other year without the support in my room.

I always say one of the best things about my daughter's school is their support staff.  She is able receive even more specialized assistance for her specific disabilities as a result.

Our unions collectively bargain for support staff.

In my district, our unions have worked with the board to provide a system of evaluation and support for first year teachers.  This program provides classes and a "mentor" to observe and give feedback to beginning teachers to help them through the growing pains.  This helps support new teachers who can have an overwhelming first year in an urban district like mine.

The union worked for this.

Our union has worked with our district to create useful and relevant professional development in a format that is fair and effective and ultimately leading to better instruction for the students. 

I wanted to avoid getting into economics but it should be stated that I know of at least two districts in the Columbus area that NEGOTIATED pay freezes or decreased step increases.  A district in Stark county has had pay freezes for four years in a row.  Healthcare and retirement contributions by workers already are 15% and 10%.  We have saved Ohio $1 Billion already and will continue to do so without stripping collective bargaining.  I know things are tough, but don't thin we are not making sacrifices too.  We aren't all of the middle class but we are part of it.

We can magnify bad teachers.  We can pick out individual examples of inequities between private sector jobs and public sector jobs that need to be fixed. Let me clearly state I understand this. (Although people that don't want to admit that I do will ignore that last sentence and claim I didn't write or say it)

But it is not worth stripping collective bargaining all together just for this items that can be fixed within collective bargaining. This goes beyond the economics you keep hearing and seeing in these commercials.  It goes deeper and affects education negatively.

Vote No on Issue Two PLEASE! And then let us fix what needs to be fixed by continuing to speak out.

All Time Favorite Albums

I was thinking today how the idea of the "album" has been lost of late.

These days I buy my music one song at a time from iTunes and I've lost the joy of shopping in a store for an album. Then enjoying it (or not) as a whole work of art.

So feeling a bit nostalgic.........

 My personal favorite albums of all time.

In no particular order.

1. Actung Baby by U2
2. Full Moon Fever by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3. Green Album by Weezer
4. Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd
5. Mommy's Little Monster by Social Distortion
6. Garbage by Garbage
7. Come Find Yourself by Fun Lovin' Criminals
8. Low End Theory by A Tribe Called Quest
9. Smash by The Offspring
10. Core by Stone Temple Pilots
11. Psalm 69 by Ministry
12. Ausgeflippt by Hanzel Und Gretyl
13. Audioslave by Audioslave

Specialty Albums:

Live Albums
Live at the Roxy by Social Distortion
Pulse by Pink Foyd

Greatest Hits
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Honorable Mentions:

The Wall by Pink Floyd

People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm by A Tribe Called Quest
Sublime by Sublime
Enter the 48 Chambers by Wu Tang Clan
Purple by Stone Temple Pilots

10 Most Hated

For those of you who are too serious and stuffy about the things I post on Facebook or in my blog and can't seem to allow sarcasm or hyperbole without some sort of judgemental comment about my judging or supposed negativity, stop reading now.

For the rest of you, I keep hearing plenty of hate from anti-OSU people here in Columbus or just about anywhere on the Internet even when the topic or thread has nothing to do with us. Obviously, it is because we are so freaking successful and our fans are pretty freaking obnoxious about it.

Of course we like to call it passion. You say tomato, we say tomato.

So in honor of all the sports hate that seems to be the trend these days, I give you my top ten list of most hated sports "stuff."


10. Glamour City Bias

From Colin Cowherd to just about any fan that doesn't live in the midwest, sports fans around the country adore the teams who play in sunny, warm cities or cities with big lights and plenty of superficial glam. The players are becoming more and more the same as they sign with these teams leaving smaller markets out to dry. Economics play a large role in this too. But in the name of my hate list, I will disregard that.

9. Notre Dame

Originally I couldn't stand Notre Dame because they were so good and I was tired of them. It was a hate rooted in envy. Then they started to suck. Now they have sucked for almost 20 years. In the middle of this span of suck, people still talked about them as though they were relevant when they weren't. Any other school playing like they did would not even register on ESPN's "other notable games" segments. But they continued to make headlines. So my hate was less out of jealousy and more out of fatigue and annoyance of the obvious bias.
They used to be higher on this list but have sunk near the bottom because I am starting to think I would like for them to be good again. They do have a rich tradition and they have done their time in suckdom. So now is a good time to return to true relevance and add to the lore of college football's history.

8. Mark May


Any fellow Buckeye fan knows exactly why he has made this list. He entered Buckeye Hater lore back in 2002 when he and Trev Alberts led the charge of over rated claims in the national media regarding the undefeated Buckeyes. Apparently, wins meant less than the style of play or point differential in wins. They repeatedly heralded Iowa as the better Big Ten team even though Iowa wasn't even the better Iowa team!! They lost to Iowa State early in the year.
But my Buckeyes showed him and every other doubter that year that the slow and outdated Big Ten team was the elite as they physically beat down the glitzy and overpaid U to win in the best football game I have ever and will ever watch.

7. The Mythical Torture in Chicago

Growing up a fan of Cleveland sports, nobody and I mean NOBODY has any right whatsoever to tell us about sports misery or pain. Yet, Chicago with the dominating 85 Bears, the glory years with the Bulls during the Jordan seasons and the recent titles from the Blackhawks and White Sox continue to act as though that Cubs streak trumps everything.

Two words: SHUT UP!

6. Detroit

The Tigers. The Pistons. The fact they exist in that state up north.

5. Cincinnati Bengals

I don't include the whole city because they share my state. Many are Buckeye fans. And I like the Reds. Always have. But the hillbilly Bungle fans, in particularly from south of the river in Kentucky and small towns that dot southern Ohio, are some of the most annoying and laughable fans I have ever come across. The thing is, they may be the only football fans whose pro team sucks more than mine. Well, the Lions may trump us both but I already listed Detroit.

4. Miami

As recently as 15 months ago this probably wouldn't even be on the list let alone appear in the top five ahead of in state rival Cincy. But one man managed to shoot this city and everything it represents up this high. He magnified the other little things I can't stand about Miami as well.

There are only two teams (both will soon register on this list) that I get more joy out of seeing lose. There is no way they can lose too badly or painfully. Watching the Mavs destroy their chances at a title last season was wonderful. Watching the NBA lockout continue is beautiful even if it is cutting my nose off despite my face with the Cavs suffering a lack of a season as well. Longer lockout, less of him.


The Marlins broke my heart in Game 7 of the World Series in 1997. The U is one of the most annoying programs on Earth. So freaking flashy and loud and obnoxious. Not to mention filled with thugs and low character individuals that make a glorified garage sale for tats seem like child's play. Fortunately, my Crimson Tide took them out in 1991 and, as mentioned in #8, my Buckeyes took them out in 2002. So I have had some pay back.

But in the end, they represent the hatred I listed in #10 with their South Beach attitude and party lifestyle.

I hate that superficial crap.

Of course I am in the minority and the people I need to feel the same as me in order for my teams to win, don't see eye to eye with me in this either. So once again, the envy factor kicks in even though I have no urge whatsoever to live that way myself and love my life in the midwest.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers

I have a deep rooted disdain for this team. While many Top lists you read are prisoners of the moment and rank recent buzz worthy entries higher on the list than they really belong, I give longevity a good bit of weight. It takes a franchise changing reason (see #4 over #5) for a recently hated team to beat out teams I have hated for a long time.

The Steelers are everything I wish my football team would be but isn't. They are a tough, bad weather, well run organization that consistently wins and remains relevant.

Man I hate them.

The mere sight of those uniforms or that Hines Ward smile makes me want to puke.

2. Baltimore Ravens

They took my most beloved team. What more needs to be said? Then they go and win a Super Bowl while my team that we fought to have back has pretty much sucked ever since. They have stolen the rivalry with the Steelers because we suck too much to make it worthwhile to the Steelers. It is similar to the OSU v. Michigan rivalry.

Is Art Modell still alive? Because I don't like that guy. But I won't say anything too negative about a man in his position in life if he is.

Also, they are an in division rival like Pittsburgh and Cincy so the natural competitive hate exists there too. I don't respect this organization like I do the Steelers though. It is not a respectful hate. It is straight up hatred hate.

Drum roll please.......

Think you know?

1. The Whole State of Michigan

With Detroit already taken care of, let me focus on the university in Ann Arbor. I can't stand the maize and blue. I hate those helmets. I will never forget the heartbreak they put me through in the 90s while I was a student at THE Ohio State University ruining multiple title hopes and rubbing our face in it every time. Desmond Howard and his Heisman Pose. Charles Woodson. Tim Biakabutuka ( I don't even care if I spelled his name right because I can't stand him or that team) causing an argument between me and my dad.

This past decade of dominance over them is not enough. The epic victory in 2006 is not enough pay back. I never want to lose to this school.

Ever.

In addition, the stupid Fab 5 in hoops. Hate them too.

But we can't forget the other school in this horrid, hideous state over in East Lansing. They may not have a long list of reasons for me to hate them, but 1998 is all it takes. That was heartbreaking enough to almost make the list on its own merit as its own entry. That walk back to my apartment that evening was a LONG, painful experience. The rare season in the 90s that the other school didn't ruin our title hopes, MSU made sure to pick up the slack.

I'm shaking right now just thinking about it.

Honorable mention: Micheal Jordan, John Elway, USC, Boston and Colin Cowherd.

My Grandma

I have always been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve and display my feelings publicly. It may or may not be the right way of doing things, but it is what I do and I have conceded to fighting it. So naturally with the passing of my grandmother, I feel the urge to share my thoughts.

My mother has a gift. She can write some of the most meaningful pieces of reflection, tributes or most anything that captures people's emotions. Her tribute to her mother today was touching and beautiful.

There are any number of things I could take from it that I would love to share but the one thing I have thought about all day was one sentence about how the great grandchildren will remember her mostly as a warm, loving person who would hold them and tell them how beautiful they are. Even after she couldn't change diapers or feed the babies a bottle, she still loved having them around.

This reminded me of how my mom and mother-in-law, both grandmas themselves, not only accept duties of changing diapers and feeding my children, they welcome and even request it. I always ask myself, "do they REALLY want to do this?" I worry that maybe I shouldn't be burdening them with these tasks. They did their time. I must be making them feel as though they should be doing these things.

Now, after hearing my mother's tribute, I feel as though from now on, I will: LET GRANDMAS CHANGE DIAPERS AND FEED BABIES....if they request to.

In addition, I received several comments from good friends on Facebook sending their warm wishes to my family. I read things like, "Grandma's rock." or "Losing grandma's sucks." A colleague of mine told me it is hard losing a grandma no matter how long she lived or how much it may have been her time. There is no "right" time to not feel sad.

Yep, those comments pretty much capture the feeling I have had this past weekend.

Finally, when my father's mother passed away three years ago and we went to lay her to rest back in her home state of Alabama, we played "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynard Skynard several times over the days we were there and it has become a symbol of my grandmother ever since. I went through a period of time when I was thinking about her a good bit where I coincidentally heard it on the radio numerous times. I said it was sign that she was communicating to me from another realm.

For some reason I felt compelled to listen to "Spirit In The Sky" by Norman Greenbaum this weekend as I thought about my recently passed grandmother and what do you know, but I stumbled upon it on the radio today as I was thinking about her.

It was perfectly appropriate. So now, I have a song for each of my grandmothers to remember them by. The best part is that these songs are ones I came up with on my own naturally. I didn't seek them out, but they found me. Just how it ought to be.

This one's for you, Baca:


If any family happens to read this and would like to share their own memories or thoughts, I would love to read them in the comments.

The Shaping of Huey: Part One

There have been a number of events over the past week that have caused me to reflect on my life and what has shaped me as an individual.

There is no single event or experience or person that has made me who I am, but a collection of all of the above.

I would say this is true for most of us.

So I am beginning a series of posts writing about the things that have played the largest roles in shaping the person I am today. I anticipate there to be more events and shaping in my future.

One thing I have learned so far is that life and people are not static but fluid. We change over time. Our opinions, preferences, points of view and even values all change. We learn and we grow.

Although it is trite, I recall stating that I hated The Doors and would never understand how people enjoy their music. Today, I can't get enough.

But The Doors haven't shaped me at all.

My first entry is: My Mother

Mom's are often given credit for their roles in their children's lives. You see football players on the sidelines mouth "Hi Mom" to the camera, not "Hi Dad." You hear award winners thank God and then their moms. One of the first people kids cry for is their mom.

Specifically, my mother has shaped my live in two prophetic moments.

First, when I was entering college she told me I should teach. She added that I should teach in an urban setting.

Her words were driven by observations she made and her knowledge of who I was and my passion as a social entrepreneur. All three of her children have traveled very different paths in our professions as adults. She knew mine was in public education. I wanted to make a difference and she knew this was where it would happen.

So as I continued to tackle the decision of going into journalism to be a sports writer (writing....as anyone following my blog would know...not one of my bigger strengths and a reason why I started blogging in the first place; to work on my writing), education or some other line of work I hadn't thought of yet, education won out and it was probably because I had that conversation in the back of my head.

Sometimes I wonder if this was more of a case of where I was unable to make a decision for myself. Maybe I was just trying to please my mother in some sort of subconscious, Freudian inner struggle for acceptance.

Other times I feel as though it doesn't matter. During times of confidence when I feel pretty good about myself because I heard from an old student, I get invited to a graduation or a parent of a former student showers me with praise, I feel like the cause of this path means little because the result has been so good for more people than just me.

Secondly, during the height of my daughter's health problems and the confusion that was swirling around everybody when I had to make sure she was getting the care she deserved and we were getting answers we needed, my mom (and dad) told me how impressed they were with my composure. She said something that has stuck with me to this day.

At first, she was stating what I already knew. But hearing the words out loud seemed to be more striking than just thinking them myself. She reminded me that my daughter was so young, so fragile and was counting on me without even knowing it. I was her advocate.

Her advocate.

That is the word that hit home.

I was somebody's advocate. Suddenly it hit home how important I was. There was this person whose livelihood was squarely on my shoulders.

It was one thing to say that. Think that. Brag about it when you become a father.

But that word: advocate. It struck me.

Since then I have been been on the borderline of obsessive with the well being of my child. It has even been to the point that I have had to pull back a bit and allow her mother to take on some of the responsibility.

Among the numerous things that have shaped who I am, my mother has played a large role. Genetically, she has given me my passion and I would like to think my smarts (it is all relative though I suppose).

It is her words though, that have shaped major decisions and played major roles in who I am today and what I do and how I often think and approach things.


Part Two: Linden Elementary School