The Shaping of Huey: Part One

There have been a number of events over the past week that have caused me to reflect on my life and what has shaped me as an individual.

There is no single event or experience or person that has made me who I am, but a collection of all of the above.

I would say this is true for most of us.

So I am beginning a series of posts writing about the things that have played the largest roles in shaping the person I am today. I anticipate there to be more events and shaping in my future.

One thing I have learned so far is that life and people are not static but fluid. We change over time. Our opinions, preferences, points of view and even values all change. We learn and we grow.

Although it is trite, I recall stating that I hated The Doors and would never understand how people enjoy their music. Today, I can't get enough.

But The Doors haven't shaped me at all.

My first entry is: My Mother

Mom's are often given credit for their roles in their children's lives. You see football players on the sidelines mouth "Hi Mom" to the camera, not "Hi Dad." You hear award winners thank God and then their moms. One of the first people kids cry for is their mom.

Specifically, my mother has shaped my live in two prophetic moments.

First, when I was entering college she told me I should teach. She added that I should teach in an urban setting.

Her words were driven by observations she made and her knowledge of who I was and my passion as a social entrepreneur. All three of her children have traveled very different paths in our professions as adults. She knew mine was in public education. I wanted to make a difference and she knew this was where it would happen.

So as I continued to tackle the decision of going into journalism to be a sports writer (writing....as anyone following my blog would know...not one of my bigger strengths and a reason why I started blogging in the first place; to work on my writing), education or some other line of work I hadn't thought of yet, education won out and it was probably because I had that conversation in the back of my head.

Sometimes I wonder if this was more of a case of where I was unable to make a decision for myself. Maybe I was just trying to please my mother in some sort of subconscious, Freudian inner struggle for acceptance.

Other times I feel as though it doesn't matter. During times of confidence when I feel pretty good about myself because I heard from an old student, I get invited to a graduation or a parent of a former student showers me with praise, I feel like the cause of this path means little because the result has been so good for more people than just me.

Secondly, during the height of my daughter's health problems and the confusion that was swirling around everybody when I had to make sure she was getting the care she deserved and we were getting answers we needed, my mom (and dad) told me how impressed they were with my composure. She said something that has stuck with me to this day.

At first, she was stating what I already knew. But hearing the words out loud seemed to be more striking than just thinking them myself. She reminded me that my daughter was so young, so fragile and was counting on me without even knowing it. I was her advocate.

Her advocate.

That is the word that hit home.

I was somebody's advocate. Suddenly it hit home how important I was. There was this person whose livelihood was squarely on my shoulders.

It was one thing to say that. Think that. Brag about it when you become a father.

But that word: advocate. It struck me.

Since then I have been been on the borderline of obsessive with the well being of my child. It has even been to the point that I have had to pull back a bit and allow her mother to take on some of the responsibility.

Among the numerous things that have shaped who I am, my mother has played a large role. Genetically, she has given me my passion and I would like to think my smarts (it is all relative though I suppose).

It is her words though, that have shaped major decisions and played major roles in who I am today and what I do and how I often think and approach things.


Part Two: Linden Elementary School