Tigger v. Eeyore

After witnessing another loss for my Cleveland Indians, I rode back to Columbus with a friend of mine and his friend. The conversation was pleasant and rather diverse. At one point my friend referenced Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon who became famous for his "Last Lecture." He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and took the opportunity before he died to write a book and speak to a number of audiences about fulfilling dreams.

My friend referenced him as part of our conversation about attitude and mood. He mentioned that Pausch often used analogies to describe his points. One analogy my friend brought up was whether somebody is a "Tigger" or "Eeyore." The Tiggers of the world are optimists and the Eeyores are pessimists. So what is your outlook on life?

When I arrived home, my wife and I found ourselves watching TLC and Micheal J. Fox's show discussing why optimists are optimists and pessimists are pessimists. He was searching to find out if there was a gene that made him optimistic. A "happy gene" is what he named it.

After reading "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield awhile back I have become more and more convinced that coincidences can have meaning if they don't have meaning already.

So since the meaning I am going to take from these two moments about outlook is going to be that I need to refocus my efforts to be more positive and optimistic, I am going to take a page out of the book of my wife and write another gratitude list. She believes it is good to tackle those moments in which you want to throw a pity party or when you feel like you are drowning in self-pity with gratitude lists.

I see so many people out there living lives much more difficult than mine. They demonstrate a strength I would not be able to maintain. I am very lucky and want to acknowledge it.

First, I am grateful my daughter's health has required me to do things I didn't think I would do. I question whether it has made me stronger or has exposed my weaknesses more often than not. But I know it has forced me to be more responsible than I was at any time prior to the discovery of her disorder. I do take pride in the way I have handled it overall despite minor mistakes along the way.

Secondly, I am grateful that I have handled my relationship with my oldest daughter's mother in a mature manner. It could have been easy to allow things to get ugly. But I promised myself (and my daughter even though she never understood) that I would truly keep my daughter's best interests first and ahead of mine. Instead of allowing my emotions to affect my decisions, I am grateful that I have stood by this goal significantly more often than not. I feel my daughter has been fortunate to grow up without her parents bickering or placing her in uncomfortable situations. I am grateful I have done this despite the fact that it has been difficult.

I am grateful I have managed to teach in an urban setting for 11 years. Burnout claims the best of us who teach in areas where the challenges greatly outnumber the perks. The stress is enormous and then people on the outside speak to you as though they know about our profession and belittle it. The same profession that drains every bit of energy and emotion from you is spoken about as though it is a cakewalk and we are weak for feeling the way we do. But I have managed to progress through more than a decade despite these seemingly insurmountable obstacles. My life span has probably decreased 11 years in the process but I can be proud of the mental and emotion strength and heart I must have to continue.

I am grateful I have a second child in this world. I dealt with a good bit of disappointment along the road to her birth. Everyday I wake up and go to bed worried that something will go wrong with her. I am grateful that I sit here writing this knowing the first two months have been very good. She is a beautiful blessing to behold.

I am grateful that I have a loving and supportive family that takes many of my shortcomings in stride. I am grateful that my father never allows my immaturity to ruin our relationship. Sometimes I treat him like a punching bag but he continues to show his own inner fortitude as he comes back for more every time.

I am grateful I have a job with a consistent paycheck and a house to live in. I have a computer with internet so I can play on Facebook, in my fantasy leagues or blog. I can afford to play in several softball leagues and meet with friends to watch games. I am grateful that someday I will be able to sell this house but right now I don't have to sell it. I am grateful that while I still have a good bit of debt in front of me, it is getting paid off.

There.

I took some major stresses in my life and instead of wallowing beneath them with my sorrow and self-pity, I spun them to positives.

The wife would be proud. Maybe I can be a Tigger this time.