Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and the 1997 Rose Bowl

There is a line in a classic Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers' song, "Running Down a Dream," that I heard tonight on my iPod while running.

It went something like this:

"The trees went by, me and Del were singing little Runaway. I was flyin'."

My Dad referenced this line while we were in California for a week around New Year's 1997 for the Rose Bowl. We were either on Ventura Blvd, passing an exit for it or just talking about it and how Petty mentioned it in Free Fallin' off this same album, "Full Moon Fever," when he cited the lyric above.

I honestly can't remember why or how these were connected in the context of our conversation.

What I can remember is a ton of great memories from that trip with my Father.

It was my senior year at The Ohio State University.  I was on target to graduate on time in the Spring despite some scary academic moments earlier in which my Dad lit me up. 

He was pretty laid back with discipline growing up until it came to grades.  School brought out the dictator, authoritative, drill sergeant in him. Therefore, the hideous grades I came home with after one quarter living off campus caused him to rear his ugly head.

So with the #4 Buckeyes matched up with #2 Arizona State (this was pre-BCS), and my love of football and OSU, it was a perfect opportunity to celebrate the turnaround and generously present me with an epic graduation/birthday/Christmas gift.

Obviously, I was in a prolonged state of euphoria over this.

Nearly every Rose Bowl since I have made a point to call my Dad and remind him how thankful I am for that gift and that trip.  It has become a nice tradition of mine that I take a good bit of pride in. 

In almost every call, one of us recalls our surprise about how many people out in Pasadena cared more about the parade than the game.  While we were there for the game and considered the parade so much of an after thought that we didn't even make an effort to get to Colorado Blvd in time, there were people lining the streets the night before just to secure a good spot for the Rose Bowl Parade the following morning.

I vividly remember talking to a mother and her son at a pizza place on New Year's Eve.  They asked if we were from out of town and we responded, "Yes. We are from Ohio."

Naturally, that would tip off our reason to be there: The game.

Her response?

Something like, "Oh that is a long way to come for the parade.  But we have people here from the east coast too.  It IS a great parade, isn't it?"

Uh. Yeah. Sure.

After we said we came for the game, she asked, "What game?"

WHAT GAME!?

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Another odd experience was the location of the Rose Bowl stadium itself.  It was in the beautiful mountains, but what surprised me was that is was surrounded by residential streets.  We literally walked through a neighborhood to and from our car.

Weird.

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That New Year's Eve night was a cool scene. The streets were buzzing with people for the parade the next day. Music was playing.  The weather was warm. 

We went to an underground movie theater to catch a movie before the midnight, New Year's celebration. 

Not underground like a hidden, Indie film house or anything cool like that.  But literally a theater under the ground.  There was an escalator to the doors.

The movie?

Jerry Macquire.

Meh.

 Lame choices.  That was the best option.

It had football in it.  We were in a football state of mind.

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During the trip, my Dad and I spent a good bit of time in Los Angeles.

It is from both my parents that I get my appreciation and interest in college campuses.  So we paid a visit to UCLA to check out the different sites, walking around to take in the sites.  I remember very little to be honest, but it was cool.

We went to The Comedy Store.  If I remember right, it was on Sunset.  There was a two drink minimum and my Dad "warned" me what that meant and how he could "help."

No need. I laugh still thinking about that. Minimum was not a problem.

We then tried to get in to the House of Blues. Cypress Hill was playing. I was pretty amped to check them out. It wouldn't have been the first rap show my Dad and I attended together as funny as that may sound.  That was old hat.

Unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately) it was sold out by the time we got there. People were pouring out of the door.

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Anyone who is a Buckeye knows how epic that game was.

OSU goes down 17-14 with just over a minute to go with a shoddy kicker at best. Looked like Jake "The Snake" Plummer had done it again. A late game score to win.

But two pass interference flags later our Buckeyes were on the doorstep.

Then Germaine to Boston on a beautiful little fake to the inside then flare out to the sideline for the game winning TD.

I can still see that play in my head along with the misty view of the scoreboard with Ohio State 20 and Arizona State 17 as the best damn band in the land plays all the classics in the corner of the endzone where we were sitting.

It was perfect.

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There was this lady sitting next to me. to this day I swear she was an angel sent to be there for me.

While I went through my normal progression of emotions to sheer insanity, my Dad continued to live in the moment.  This wasn't his first rodeo. He watched me grow up and into this intensity over my teams.

He had witnessed my whole range. Par for the course. Another day at the office.

In fact, just the year before I was home to watch The Game (OSU v Ann Arbor for those of you not in the know), and we got into a heated argument as Tim Biakabutuka ran for 313 yards on our defense leading Ann Arbor to an upset win. I think it ended with another episode of me walking up the street in socks.

But this lady had an odd ability to calm me and provided this sense of optimism I had never felt before.

I'm not one for the Bible or crazy religion, but I am open about my belief in the supernatural.

She was supernatural. She had me believing Joe Cool Germaine would lead our Buckeyes to victory on that last drive.

Haven't felt that way since.  Even in the 2002 Title Game, I never felt like it would end my way like I did that day in hazy Pasadena, California. 

Adam and Eve, Kris Humphries, Hair Curlers, Baseball Equipment, Job Interviews, Women

Have had a jing bang mess of things on my mind of late.  I would like to share them with you.

Adam and Eve
So if we are to believe in the Bible, Genesis in particular (oh if only I meant Phil Collins), and go with this story of Adam and Eve as the start of the human population.....then that means we are all products of incest.

That would actually explain a lot, wouldn't it?

President Obama and Gay Marriage
After North Carolina voters decided they did not want to join the 21st century and voted for marriage NOT to be based  totally in love and devotion but by physical anatomy, President Obama came out (uhhhhh...) and make a public announcement that he supported gay marriage to the cheers of the gay communities and many liberals around the country.

In the end, I am not so sure what I think of this in and of itself being an election year and I still vividly recall a Presidential debate last time around in which he sidestepped the issue with the cop out claim that he personally felt it was to be between a man and a woman although the law shouldn't make a distinction.  Going off memory here means I could be incorrect, but my point is that I can't help but be skeptical about this and its timing.

What bothers me is that this is STILL an issue. I STILL have to hear how gay marriage somehow "threatens" an institution that is already on life support.

Over half of straight marriages don't carry out what marriage is meant to be: a lifelong commitment.

I have lost count of how many marriages I, alone, have witnessed that have ended or have had extra marital affairs and I am not even 40!

It is pathetic.

The same people that devoutly "defend" marriage from those "aggressive" gays, flock to watch  Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets and his sham of a marriage to some woman in Los Angeles on TV.

Kim something or other?  I hear she is pretty popular with the kids.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez is on marriage 17 or whatever and everyone loves her.  Magazine covers are filled with her pretty face.

Kids are growing up seeing this and are desensitized to the idea of broken marriages.

Marriages have become disposable.  An excuse to get dressed up, have a party, maybe have a kid.

Yet gays are the threat.

No homosexual I know is looking to take anything away from those of us and our holy straight marriages.  It isn't one or the other.  Gays won't take over the world.

But heaven forbid!

Hair Curlers
The other day on my drive into work, I saw a woman in hair curlers in the car next to me.  This was the 5th time within a week I saw a woman doing something to "get ready" in the car, on her way somewhere.

I realize this is common, but it was weird that I witnessed it so many times in a short period of time because I usually don't.

Most odd to me was the hair curlers.  I never see that. My wife doesn't use curlers in her hair. So while I am used to seeing the whole make up prep and flat hair thing, curlers are something I don't see often anymore.

So is it something women do and I am not privy to it, or has it gone out of style?

Token Politics
Say what you want, all legitimate reasons aside, but I can't bring myself to vote for a dude named after a baseball glove.

I'm sure there is a joke somewhere in there but I can't think of it.

Oh yeah and until I see a birth certificate......

Job Interviews
I have had two job interviews in front of panels.  I was offered and accepted positions after both.

To this day, I find myself still trying to live up to the resume I sent and the answers I gave to the their questions.

I still feel this internal pressure to prove myself to those people.  I doubt they even care anymore or remember what I said, but I haven't and I don't like the idea that they may regret selecting me over the other candidates because I didn't live up to the "hype."

One of the people who interviewed me at my current job was with me at a professional development last week and made a comment that it felt like I had been teaching there longer than two years.  He said he meant it as a good thing.  He meant that I have fit in so well that the comfort level is more than one would expect after only two years.

I will take that as some validation.

It doesn't exactly relate to the answers I gave or career highlights laid out on a piece of paper, but it probably means the guy doesn't think it was a total mistake hiring me.

War on Women
Seems like every topic in the media today has to be a "war" on something.

We have the "War on Traditional Marriage." As I already stated, this is a freaking joke. To be at war, you have to attack something and gays are not attacking anybody.  They aren't looking to take anything from anybody, but to have the same pursuit of happiness that straight couples have.

Marriage isn't a club where you can post a sign on your door for your little sister, "No Girls Allowed."

Come on, we're adults here.

But this isn't my point.

The media also likes to throw out headlines about this "War on Women."

I bring this up because this time of year I find myself reflecting on 2008 when I lost my grandmother in May and then my baby girl, Mallory, in June before she was born.

It was a unique situation because we knew we were going to lose her before we did.

It was extremely difficult.

The experience challenged my prior ideas of abortion.  But it wasn't black and white and it didn't give me any answers.  If anything, it muddied the water even more.

Was it a baby at that time? Is that life? Did she have a soul? Should I have grieved as I did or was I being over dramatic?

For the record, I am not a Bible guy.  I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I prefer free thinking based on multiple resources, logic and reason.  So my approach throughout this was to examine what I believed in my heart and soul.

This experience, the decisions we had to make, the medical procedure that was done after she passed, the emotional roller coaster, opened my eyes that people on the outside have no business telling others how to handle this stuff.

Our experience was unique. I wish there were zero abortions.  But to be be 100% pro life when the whole issue is such a diverse, complicated myriad of situations, is short sighted in my opinion.

And to demonize birth control is not right. I personally find it contradicting and extreme to categorize it as abortion itself.

But people who have little to no experience will make the decisions for the rest of us I guess.

We Compete in Room 5

In my classroom I do not shy away from competition. 

It has been said that competition is not good for the classroom.  There is a trend in which everybody gets ribbons just for participating. We seem to try to cushion kids from losing.

I believe there is a good bit that can be learned from losing.

I believe it creates a teachable moment that an educator can use if done correctly.

We will all lose at some point in life.  What is more important? 

That we lost or how we handle the loss?

That we won? Or how we handle the victory?

I believe in creating a classroom environment that encourages one another, pushes one another, works with one another and does not fear competition,

When my students enter the "real world" they will compete.  They will compete for jobs, accounts, promotions, customers and more.

The important thing I want my students to take from me is the value of hard work.  I want them to understand that wallowing in a pity party or giving up and quiting because they did not succeed immediately is not acceptable.

I want them to understand that losing is not the end of the world.

In fact, I want them to understand it is OK.

I want them to realize it is how they handle the loss that dictates their success.

Will they work harder and try again until they reach their goal?

If I succeed, they will.

Therefore, I do not shy away from losing in my classroom.  While we celebrate victories no matter how small in a MAJOR way and we do not hesitate to be proud and show our pride, we also acknowledge our losses.

We then identify what needs to improve and we work to improve it.

So now I bring you to our current Math concept.  We are learning how to convert fractions to percents.  There are several common fractions/percents I want them to memorize.  In my life, I have benefited from just knowing the percentages of certain common fractions like 4ths and 5ths and 8ths and so on.

So we have made flashcards and the students have practiced memorizing them.  You may remember an old game we used to play in school called Around the World.  Two students would race to answer an operation problem first.  The winner moves on while the loser sits.  At the end, many students are sitting in different seats than their own.

Those of us who were competitive would count out how many seats everyone moved to see who moved the most and "won."

I do a similar thing in the first 10 minutes of Math to open the lesson.

But I have my students sit in teams for numerous reasons.

So I have each team compete for a "team champ."

Since I teach a split which means half 4th graders and half 5th graders, each team champ competes for a "grade champ."

Then we compete for a "class champ."

It is quite fun.

Since my class is used to competition and have been taught how to compete with sportsmanship and positive support and not to freak out over losing since there will be plenty of opportunities to win in the future, we really get into it.

There is a ton of cheering and pats on the back.  I love to see classmates console the student who loses.  I love to hear them beg to have more time to study up on their flashcards before we play again to get them in their head.

In fact.....

It reminds me a lot of this:

Not quite as loud....but almost.

Those Viral 6 Picture Things: Here's One Of My Own

This is an awfully egocentric post but the URL for my blog should have tipped you off in the first place so this one is on you. 

For those of you still reading, I admit I get a kick out of those pictures floating around Facebook and the like. Those of you that can't stand them or are already tired of them, proceed to the exit.  Those of you STILL here, check out some of my favorites that you may or may not have seen:

One that relates to me:

Classic taking me back to my childhood love of Star Wars:

I thought I would make one myself but I have no idea how to use that template.  My first idea, teachers, has been taken; so I figured I could do something personal so that no one could beat me to it.

Hence, I give you "Basketball Huey"

Basketball Huey

What my friends think I look like:

Probably more accurately, check out this link:

http://youtu.be/cvOm7dPS0Uw

What my Mom thinks I look like:

What my brother said I looked like back in the day:

What opponents think I look like:

What innocent spectators think I look like: (I'm the white guy)

What my sister-in-law WISHED I looked like (free tickets):

What the players at St. Thomas Aquinas kept saying I looked like (back in high school):

What my middle school students back in Cleveland thought I looked like:

What my wife thinks I look like:

What I think I look like:

What I really look like:

There you have it.  Hope you got a kick out of it and friends and family "in the know" caught some of the inside jokes.

Patience Shows The Reason For The Journey

My wife and I came to an "out loud" realization today that had we not lost our first baby, we would not have our son.

It was a weird thought for me.

When we first experienced the reality that we were losing our first child after over 20 weeks of excitement and planning, the sorrow was intense. We were lucky that there were no lasting problems or scary health issues with my wife, but we lost what we thought of as our child even if it was mostly in our thoughts and dreams.

At the time, many questions were raised in my head regarding when life starts and ends. Where does our soul come from? Should I feel sorrowful for losing someone I never met? Was I being a drama queen?

Since then I continue to reflect on these kinds of questions, but have found no answers.  Honestly, I am not sure I want to because the hunt is more fun than the destination in my opinion.

More importantly, my sorrow has become more distant. We have had two successful pregnancies and two healthy children.  The pain of that summer has become more of a memory than a feeling.

Now we come to the thought that had we not lost Mallory, we would not have our son who is a tangible, visible being in front of us that we can hold and kiss and interact with everyday.

Had Mallory made it, we would have theoretically had our daughter and then called it quits as we have after our son because two children was our predetermined limit.

This means three daughters of my own and two daughters for my wife and me.  While this is great, I have repeatedly thought to myself over the past year how much I love having a boy.  All those cheesy ideas of throwing the baseball with my boy (see Field of Dreams), the father-son song by Harry Chapin, helping him though adolescence and giving advice how to handle calling girls for the first time have been so enjoyable to think and dream about.

Plus, changing things up has been nice after two girls.

My parenting really won't be much different. I purposely try not to be gender restrictive with my kids. He will be who he will be, and I enjoy playing catch with my daughters so I would have with Mallory as well. 

Still, there is this little guy I love dearly that probably wouldn't be here had Mallory been here.

Then again, there is this little girl I would have loved dearly who isn't here.

We say everything happens for a reason.  Could the loss and its pain have happened so that I could have this wonderful joy of a son?  Is that the reason?

Does the end justify the means?  Or maybe, does the end justify the journey?  Should I feel guilty about this?

Do I feel guilty?

In the end, things happen and none of this has been in my complete control.  I didn't do anything to lose Mallory and there was nothing I could have done to save her.

I feel the way I feel whether I like it or not. I don't believe I can control my true emotions but rather the way I express them.

While I obviously created my son, I had no control over his biological sex. Well, I have no idea how to control my Y chromosome to determine his biological sex anyway.

So it seems to me that I should revel in the joy I have with a son and appreciate the fact that things happened this way.  There was a lot of pain and now there is a lot of joy and fun.  The pain needed to happen to get here.

I will let God or the Universe or my Higher Power (take your pick, I'm an open minded guy) worry about souls and what would have been.  I will be grateful for my family and the boy I can raise with my girls.

Everything happens for a reason.

(Pan towards the sky with "Cats in the Cradle" playing in the background.)