Tat Nation

I was under the impression that at some point I would grow out of the pressure cooker that it is to fit in or be trendy. I had assumed that was a high school thing that slowing worked through your system as you proceeded through your 20s only to disappear once you and your peers reached a mature age of 30.

Instead, I have come to the conclusion that high school is just a preview of the rest of your life.

The need to "fit in" affects everyone even if it drives you to avoid fitting in.

To conform or not to conform? That is the question.

I have even noticed that many people try to purposely go against the grain and avoid the trends and behaviors of the majority or at least what is considered the majority.

This seems to create two sets of "cool." You are either part of the traditional cool or you are the "rebel" cool. So by being against the grain or the rebel cool, you are still in effect conforming. You are really no different than those jocks and cheerleaders that fit into the more traditional idea cool.

This "alternative" coolness becomes a desired lifestyle and therefore a trend itself.

I imagine many people would say they fall somewhere in the middle. Most people I associate with, including yours truly, seem to feel they were somewhere between the mainstream and the anti-trendy.

A perfect example of a manifestation of what I am referring to is this fascination my generation has with tattoos.

There was a day when tattoos were limited to only a certain sect of society. The vast majority of people with body art were either bikers, sailors or prison inmates. Tattoos were meant to separate you from the mainstream according to some guy I saw on some show.

It was generally understood that tattoos should be hidden if you wanted to get a "good" job. There was a negative connotation attached to them.

Today? Not so much.

There seems to be a mandate in the NBA that you have a series of tattoos crawling up your neck. All men who live on the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio must have their bicep marked with thorny barbed wire wrapped all the way around it. If you played a drinking game with your friends for every girl at the club that had a tat on her lower back, you all would wake up in the hospital the next morning.

My point is body art has reached a point where it is the mainstream. So something that was once meant to be against the idea of trendy and conformity is exactly that. A trend. In order to be part of the mainstream you need a tattoo. Or to go against the grain, you should NOT have one.

Interesting twist.

Personally, I miss the days of body art meaning something. In the end, the person dictates meaning, not the masses. But it still feels diluted to me.

So here I am at 35 years of age. I am 17 years removed from high school. I could care less if my clothes are fashionable or not. My car is only a tool to get me places. I got a hot chic already. But I can't escape this concept of fitting in or not fitting in.

I thought it would be a good idea to modestly get my daughters' (including our lost baby) names inked somewhere discrete to give me a tangible way to keep them with me at all times. But I now fear it would just be tacky and a ploy to "fit in." I don't want that to be the point.

We get older but some things never change.

Mr. Over-Conservative?

This can be tracked back to John "Hot Rod" Williams' days with the Cleveland Cavaliers when I was in high school. I have been this way ever since I began speculating about trade deadline rumors.

I always want my team to stay pat. I tend to overvalue what my team already has on its roster. With my beloved Cavaliers of late, I have put a ton of weight in team chemistry.

Now, as we approach another trade deadline for my Cavs, I hear rumor after rumor proposed to improve the team. They need a athletic power forward who can score and play defense on the tall 4's around the league that can shoot from the outside. With the Delonte West drama looming in the near future, making his availability in the post season a big, scary question mark, the Cavs may want to look for some depth in the back court as well.

It is obvious The Cavs have needs. It was obvious they had needs last year as well. But while many were calling for a trade to get Shaquille O'Neal, I said, "NO!"

They acquired him in the off season anyway and he is beginning to fit in seamlessly and contribute in a positive manner. The team seems better with him on the roster.

One would think I have learned from this experience, but instead, as names like Andre Iguodala and Amare Stoudemire float around, I still say, "NO!"

I don't want to let Zydrunas Ilgauskas go. He has been a long time, loyal Cavalier through thick and thin and has a legitimate chance at a ring. He deserves better than getting shipped off at the last minute. I have heard there is a chance he could get bought out and the Cavs could resign him (a la Joe Smith last year) for the playoff push, but that scares me.

J.J. Hickson and Jawad Williams have both shown promise. They are both tall and athletic. The question is whether or not they will maintain the success they have found this year in the postseason.

The chemistry on the team continues from last year despite a number of changes on the roster. LeBron and Shaq are coexisting well. Everybody seems to have a role, knows their particular role and performs their role well.

Why break that up?

But I have said that before. And it did not lead to a championship. I suppose I should shut up and jump on the trading frenzy bandwagon. Maybe that trade I fear is what the Cavs need to bring a trophy home to Cleveland.

What Is The True Reality?

"If you ain't never been to the ghetto
Don't ever come to the ghetto
'Cause you wouldn't understand the ghetto
So stay the f@#$ out of the ghetto"
("Ghetto Bastard" by Naughty by Nature)

When you are done laughing at my musical reference feel free to commence reading this post.

It's OK. I'll wait.

Growing up I always felt I was sheltered from the "real world." I thought I lived a cushioned life. The real word would be much more harsh and difficult and I would be due to encounter the day I stepped foot into adulthood.

This feeling played a prominent role in my decision to pursue a teaching job in the city. I never wanted to teach just to teach. I am not a natural lover of the educational process like many other teachers are. I don't have that "it" that people who were born to teach have.

I pursued education for the sole reason of contributing to the improvement of society. I realize this sounds a bit grandeur and egotistical like I have the power to change the world, but I was young. And I am an idealist at heart I suppose.

Therefore, I naturally found my way to a teaching position in an urban setting.

To me, this was reality. Finally, I was in it.

Now the tables have flipped on me. I find myself stepping back after 12 years in this profession and feeling like this isn't reality. I tell myself this is not the way things really are out there.

There is no way that everybody has to deal with the hardships these people deal with including myself. Although, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt comparing my "hardships" with those of my students, their families and neighbors.

So what is it? What is really real?

I constantly question my inner strength and intestinal fortitude as I struggle to deal with the stress my job puts on me. I keep falling back to that bad, bad song by the early 90s rap group, Naughty by Nature and wonder if I should have "stayed the f@#$ out of the ghetto."