An over dramatic title it may be, but the truth still exists.
My first year at my new school is coming to a close. It was time for a change in my career as I found myself burning out and losing my passion and enjoyment in teaching. Education is a profession that runs on teachers' passion in my opinion. It cannot be successful if we are coming in with our heads down and little motivation.
Since the pay is not comparable to many other professions that most, if not all, of us are capable of handling, our paychecks are not our motivation and reason we entered this profession. The vacation time and its freedom it grants us to be with our families is a motivator but many times this time is consumed with classes or second jobs nullifying that luxury as well.
But one thing we have that many other professions do not is a job that keeps us out, away from our desk, a job that is never the same from day to day, a job that is challenging both mentally and emotionally and a job that provides plenty of opportunities to laugh and have fun.
I was losing sight of this as my job wasn't providing moments of laughter or fun and wasn't challenging anything but my patience and ability to control my frustration and anger. I was surrounded by these kids who deserved more than what they were receiving around them because the loud minority was ruining everything and I was powerless to stop it.
Or I was incapable of stopping it.
I spent over a decade trying to reach people who wanted nothing to do with me. I gave my heart and time and energy to my job and felt like I was worse off for it.
Of course, that can be debated. There is a certain amount of strength one gains through trials and tribulations. Hard work and well intended effort can't solely lead to a bad result.
There were countless positive experiences and people I can cite to prove that I was actually becoming a better person through the stress and emotion or mental fatigue.
But it was time for me to move on. And I did.
It wasn't about finding some place "easier." I needed some place different. I needed to challenge myself in other areas. I needed to relieve the stress.
Now that I am about to complete this first year in what I hope to be many at my new school, I am looking back and doing some comparing and contrasting like I require my students to do regularly. I am also looking forward.
If this year has done one thing for me, it has reignited my passion for teaching and renewed a motivation to improve my craft as a teacher.
I have been able to do many things that I haven't done before. Instead of focusing on how I can get more students to pay attention and complete their work or to stop bullying other students, I have been able to focus on how I am presenting concepts in a way that they are understanding thoroughly.
Instead of figuring out how to get them to try to read something, I am figuring out how I can get them to think about what they read in a more critical way and then take it to the next level of creating something of their own from their reading.
I have been able to enjoy instilling and reinforcing a love for reading that I didn't even have in 4th and 5th grade myself. Something I am just now discovering in my 30s.
I am finally seeing the fruits of my labor before my own eyes. Before, I had to wait years before this came to fruition. I had to wait eight years at their high school graduations to be exact. I now have heard from two other old students who are graduating this year.
This year I had students are begging me NOT to do the extrinsic rewards that my old students lived for so they could use that time to continue working on their reports!
Students are begging to take my personal copy of "Lord of the Flies" home with them this summer to read because they heard how much I love that book and have come to trust my tastes after all the books I read aloud to them this year. They seem to think I am not aware of the fact they are in 5th grade and will not return next year to get it back to me. I may just go buy a couple copies and give it to them anyway.
I also have been able to share my love for math with these guys. They all claim math to be their favorite subject each day. Something I can relate to since it is my favorite subject to teach each day.
They have loved to be challenged with more and more difficult problems. I have done problems with them I never dreamed of doing with 4th and 5th graders. In fact, we have done problems I have had to relearn myself. In some cases they have figured it out before me.
How cool is it to tackle math with a group of 20 kids without knowing the answer yet yourself?
I didn't know until this year.
I could have looked it up, but it is more fun to model how one goes about figuring things out on their own. It was more genuine that way. It was cool to demonstrate that nobody is invincible and we don't expect them to be. Instead, we expect them to work hard at trying to be.
Who knows what this year has taught this awesome group of kids I have had. I do know that this year has a taught me a ton.
I have got to do a better job integrating science into math and vice versa as well as social studies into reading and vice versa. I need to improve my writing instruction, grammar in particular. And I should probably figure out how to keep my room from being so darn noisy.
But then again, noise equals knowledge in my room. Or so I hope.
