Sunday, December 20, 2009

2009: My Year Of The Woman

It is that time of year again where I feel obligated to write some sort of recap of the year that was. I don't foresee a long winded double post like last year . This year wasn't nearly as tragic as 2008 and I think I have been suffering from blog fatigue these past several weeks. Therefore, this should be short and simple.

I look at 2009 as a year of calm healing. It was time for my life to settle down a bit. No divorces. No deaths. No hospitalizations. I didn't get married. I worked the same job with the same district at the same school in the same grade with mostly the same people.

So I have had the opportunity to calm down, exhale and set my feet so to speak.

Um. Maybe.

With that said, my wife and I brought a new baby girl into this world. By no means is that calming. But it is much more pleasant than many of the events of 2008.

My wife is such a model mother and baby girl has been so good and easily appeased. The fact that this is my second time around the block has made this fresh fatherhood experience much easier than it could have been for me as well. Finally, my oldest daughter has made a smooth transition from only child to big sister with relative ease.

Our little one represents so much joy for us. Not only has she brought the happiness parents get with a newborn, but she has helped heal the pain of losing our first baby in 2008. She has been a blessing. Our hopes and dreams have come true with her and filled the missing spaces we had from 2008. Although, I still feel guilty about letting the memory of Mallory go.

That brings my family life to a wife and two daughters.

I cite that fact because not only is my family life consumed with females and estrogen overload, but my workplace is as well. This school year I began teaching a single gender classroom. The gender? Girls.

On one hand, it is an interesting experience as I examine gender differences in an educational setting as well as in general. I am a sociologist at heart. This stuff intrigues me. It provides me with an opportunity to question stereotypes but also use them. It allows me to observe how girls behave without boys around. Putting all my frustration aside, it really is fascinating.

On the other hand, the drama that takes place in my classroom is ridiculous!

Every day without fail it takes at least 30 minutes after recess to sort through it all and get the girls focused on what matters. It is rarely something critical. The girls think it is, but almost always the issue is something extremely petty.

Fortunately, our lunch period is last so the lost time is minimized. But the frustration is compounding daily.

In order to maintain some sort of sanity in my female dominated life, I have tried to find balance.

I entered five fantasy football leagues. My wife allows enough flexibility and freedom for opportunities to hang out with my male friends.

But most of all I have tried to enjoy the women in my life that I love. You can't replace the satisfaction and joy that comes with having two little girls at home being cute and making you laugh.

Nor can you deny the pleasure of spending time with a beautiful wife that is highly engaging and extremely interesting.

In the end, this year has been about stabilizing things, getting back to a steady rhythm in my life.

I look forward to particular changes in 2010. I anticipate these changes to be good.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Chris Spielman's Toughness

Chris Spielman is a hero in many people's eyes for numerous reasons from petty to legitimate. Number 36 was a legendary linebacker at The Ohio State University in the 80's. Football is king in central Ohio and Mr. Spielman is royalty. He is passionate about the sport and makes no excuses for it.



But he is not only admired for his superior athletic ability but his dedication to his wife, Stephanie who recently passed away from cancer. Despite his passion for football, he sat out a year to be with his wife when she was first diagnosed. He and Stephanie demonstrated tremendous strength and perseverance as they fought her battle together.



Currently he hosts a sports radio show on 97.1 FM The Fan in Columbus. During a recent show he talked about the competitive rivalry between he and his brother, Rick who is the Vice President of Player Personnel for the Minnesota Vikings. Whether it was on the football field or seeing who could hold their breathe under water longer, they competed over everything and hated to lose.

During the wake for his wife, who is a local celebrity as a result of their public efforts to fight cancer and raise money, awareness and support, his brother stood by him. He literally stood next to him for seven hours greeting those who came to pay their respects.

Chris seemed to get emotional on the air as he told this story. Anyone with a heart would understand. As the two of them stood there hour after tedious hour, his brother refused to sit down. Chris even told him he could have a seat and relax, but Rick would not sit down if Chris wouldn't sit down. He wasn't going to give in.

This story of their undying competitive nature is rather humorous in its own way but we can see the meaning behind it. I was touched as I listened. Beyond the competition, his brother was there for him.

Both Chris and Rick are physically strong human beings who would win most fights. If you needed someone to protect you, they would be prime people to have on your side.

But I have more admiration for the deeper strength they demonstrated. Rick exemplified it through his support for his brother. Chris showed it through his paramount dedication to his wife. He put aside his passion to be with her. He took on a tremendous amount of responsibility as a father, spouse and caregiver to a sick loved one.

Granted I am biased because I have never been a tough guy. But I get tired of seeing more respect paid to the big guys for being big when there are countless other people who are more courageous and strong for what they do....like standing by their brother at a wake.

Funny, that I use a stereotypical tough guy to demonstrate this point. Almost ironic?

I would like to think I am the brother that would stand there for seven hours. Or the husband that would take on the parenting in addition to supporting the endless chemo treatments and other necessary care giving that is involved with a sick loved one.

I have admired Mr. Spielman partly because I am a Buckeye. But I that doesn't hold a light to how much I respect him because of these other characteristics.