What Is The True Reality?

"If you ain't never been to the ghetto
Don't ever come to the ghetto
'Cause you wouldn't understand the ghetto
So stay the f@#$ out of the ghetto"
("Ghetto Bastard" by Naughty by Nature)

When you are done laughing at my musical reference feel free to commence reading this post.

It's OK. I'll wait.

Growing up I always felt I was sheltered from the "real world." I thought I lived a cushioned life. The real word would be much more harsh and difficult and I would be due to encounter the day I stepped foot into adulthood.

This feeling played a prominent role in my decision to pursue a teaching job in the city. I never wanted to teach just to teach. I am not a natural lover of the educational process like many other teachers are. I don't have that "it" that people who were born to teach have.

I pursued education for the sole reason of contributing to the improvement of society. I realize this sounds a bit grandeur and egotistical like I have the power to change the world, but I was young. And I am an idealist at heart I suppose.

Therefore, I naturally found my way to a teaching position in an urban setting.

To me, this was reality. Finally, I was in it.

Now the tables have flipped on me. I find myself stepping back after 12 years in this profession and feeling like this isn't reality. I tell myself this is not the way things really are out there.

There is no way that everybody has to deal with the hardships these people deal with including myself. Although, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt comparing my "hardships" with those of my students, their families and neighbors.

So what is it? What is really real?

I constantly question my inner strength and intestinal fortitude as I struggle to deal with the stress my job puts on me. I keep falling back to that bad, bad song by the early 90s rap group, Naughty by Nature and wonder if I should have "stayed the f@#$ out of the ghetto."