I was under the impression that at some point I would grow out of the pressure cooker that it is to fit in or be trendy. I had assumed that was a high school thing that slowing worked through your system as you proceeded through your 20s only to disappear once you and your peers reached a mature age of 30.
Instead, I have come to the conclusion that high school is just a preview of the rest of your life.
The need to "fit in" affects everyone even if it drives you to avoid fitting in.
To conform or not to conform? That is the question.
I have even noticed that many people try to purposely go against the grain and avoid the trends and behaviors of the majority or at least what is considered the majority.
This seems to create two sets of "cool." You are either part of the traditional cool or you are the "rebel" cool. So by being against the grain or the rebel cool, you are still in effect conforming. You are really no different than those jocks and cheerleaders that fit into the more traditional idea cool.
This "alternative" coolness becomes a desired lifestyle and therefore a trend itself.
I imagine many people would say they fall somewhere in the middle. Most people I associate with, including yours truly, seem to feel they were somewhere between the mainstream and the anti-trendy.
A perfect example of a manifestation of what I am referring to is this fascination my generation has with tattoos.
There was a day when tattoos were limited to only a certain sect of society. The vast majority of people with body art were either bikers, sailors or prison inmates. Tattoos were meant to separate you from the mainstream according to some guy I saw on some show.
It was generally understood that tattoos should be hidden if you wanted to get a "good" job. There was a negative connotation attached to them.
Today? Not so much.
There seems to be a mandate in the NBA that you have a series of tattoos crawling up your neck. All men who live on the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio must have their bicep marked with thorny barbed wire wrapped all the way around it. If you played a drinking game with your friends for every girl at the club that had a tat on her lower back, you all would wake up in the hospital the next morning.
My point is body art has reached a point where it is the mainstream. So something that was once meant to be against the idea of trendy and conformity is exactly that. A trend. In order to be part of the mainstream you need a tattoo. Or to go against the grain, you should NOT have one.
Interesting twist.
Personally, I miss the days of body art meaning something. In the end, the person dictates meaning, not the masses. But it still feels diluted to me.
So here I am at 35 years of age. I am 17 years removed from high school. I could care less if my clothes are fashionable or not. My car is only a tool to get me places. I got a hot chic already. But I can't escape this concept of fitting in or not fitting in.
I thought it would be a good idea to modestly get my daughters' (including our lost baby) names inked somewhere discrete to give me a tangible way to keep them with me at all times. But I now fear it would just be tacky and a ploy to "fit in." I don't want that to be the point.
We get older but some things never change.
8 comments:
Go here: http://www.pbs.org/skinstories/culture/index.html
While you are correct that tattoos were something people "on the fringe" had and they have since grown in random popularity, that is just a brief blip in a long and beautiful history. Sadly, like most things, Christians were scared of it and so they shunned tattoos, but the history of tattoos is beautiful to me. (Sometimes yes, literally scaring, but still beautiful.)
I get the desire to be part of the crowd or NOT to be part of the crowd. But a tattoo is a highly personal thing. Your body is your body, and it tells a story whether you want it to or not. A tattoo is one way to reclaim the story, or at least allow for some of your own imput. It's also a way to recognize your body as a piece of art.
Yeah there are too many generic tattoos, but there are also some really beautiful ones. If imprinting your daughters' names on your body means something to you, then that is all that matters.
Finally, as Tyler Durdan said "I don't want to die without any scars"
I should check out the site. I do realize this is not a new thing and there is a rich history behind it. Cool. But I am speaking in terms of the recent trend more than the body ink itself I guess. in fact this is my point. there IS a rich history and meaning to this practice but I feel like it has lost much of its meaning and "power" with the way people use it nowadays.
You can't tell me that all those NBA players have every inch of their body inked up for meaning, symbolism and expression.
No, they are inked up like that because it is "cool." It is what everybody does. Call me bitter but I'm not buying it for a sec.
Same thing with the barbed wired bicep and tramp stamp fad. These are more attempts to catch a fad than to display something beautiful or meaningful. Unless, "look at my big sexy muscle" or "look at my sexy butt" are deemed meaningful.
I believe there was something very spiritual in other cultures related to body ink. I feel like that has been lost on us and our chase for coolness. I guess this is my point.
But this brings to mind another example. Plastic surgery. That has become a trendy thing now that everybody seems to be buying into like tattoos. Your body image comment brought that to mind. Something I think I shall reflect on next. Basically the same line of logic though.
Thanks for reading.
And by no means am I trying to offend or belittle the many people with tattoos. It may be coming off that way. In fact it may be just what I did. I'm more interested in the fascination than the people themselves.
First of all, don't worry you aren't offending me or belittling me. I'm just trying to show you a different side to the tattoo debate if you are seriously considering getting one.
Second, yes some people get tattoos because they think it's cool. The joke is on them because a tattoo is permenant and fads are not. The problem is not with the tattoo itself but with the people getting generic meaningless tattoos. If you get something that means something to you, then it is not the fad, and it's not just to be "cool."
Third, it's only lost meaning if you let it. It's your body and you get to decide. I don't like your assumption that "it has lost much of its meaning and "power" with the way people use it nowadays" - you don't know why everyone has gotten one. The meaning is only lost if you let it. I was actually inspired by a documentary I saw on body art. I've never even considered getting a tat for fadish reasons.
Finally, slightly off topic - I have a friend who specfically will NOT get a tattoo because he is the only member is his family that hasn't. His version of claiming his body is by purposfully leaving the canvas blank when everyone else has drawn. In a way, his not getting a tattoo is his tattoo.
You hit my point in that last paragraph. By not getting one he is accomplishing the same objective as getting one used to be.
Weird.
But alas you are correct I do not know the reason behind everyone's tat. The thing is, the HUGE increase in the number of people with tats and the amount of tats people get signals that at the very least, the fad aspect plays more of a role than it ever did in the past.
I'm glad you get my point.
Also, the meaning behind it IS dictated only by the person making the choice, I agree but the fact that so many people have abused it so to speak dillutes it to me.
Not USE to be, by not getting one he is doing what it still is. (That probably doesn't make sense - we should continue this convo in person).
At the end of the day all I want to know is - are you gonna get one or not? I think you should by the by. But you should include Vicky's name too - you need to include all the women that mean the world to you. :-)
I have two tattoos and think they're no big deal. I want to get a third, but life and other expenses get in my way. Whatever you do, just don't get one on your hands, face, or neck. That's an easy way to insure that you never get another decent job for the rest of your life.
Hmm... interesting. I've actually been thinking about getting a tattoo that somehow has my kid's names integrated.. probably for about 3 years now.. and was actually thinking about it more seriously as recently as two weeks ago..
-Mike
Interesting coincidence Mike.
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