St. Thomas Aquinas Cleveland, Ohio

I remember a story my dad told me about a guy he knew in the army. If I recall the story correctly, this fellow soldier voluntarily went to Vietnam during the war and my father asked him why he would request to go there. He responded by telling my dad he looked at life like a pie and he wanted to eat as much of it as he could. To him, Vietnam was another piece of that pie.

This was a story I always liked and tried to apply to the "variety is the spice of life" mantra. I look through my life thus far and notice that a number of people I know have lived this way. My wife spent time in Los Angeles. She worked in a variety of different career fields such as business, mentally challenged adults and now special education at the middle school level. My brother and sister-in-law lived in Sweden and spent time in Tanzania and India. They spent a night in a hotel made of ice. They traveled all over Europe.

Meanwhile, I haven't traveled anywhere. I have lived in Ohio my whole life. I haven't skydived. I haven't bungee jumped. I haven't spent the night in a haunted house. I missed out on seeing Yankee Stadium. I haven't done a number of things I wanted and still want to do.

But I think I still have enjoyed a kind of variety that others may not have experienced. While my time has been in Ohio, I have managed to immerse myself as the minority in a number of different contexts with several different cultures or ways of life despite location. I have blogged about some of these experiences already. This time I feel like focusing on my experience at a church called St. Thomas Aquinas which was located in east Cleveland near Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Coincidentally, I ended up getting married very near to this church.

How many white teenagers born and raised in an affluent suburb get to be a legitimate, participating member of church where the congregation shouts "Amen!" during the sermon? Just like you see on TV but for real. How many would witness their fellow members wave their hands in the air and vocally agree with the minister? A Franciscan monk in this particular case. Would they be a part of the sign of peace that is a social happy hour where every person in the room walks to every other person and passes peace in a sincere, purposeful manner?

I really don't think many do.

In addition, how many would dare travel into this same scary, keep-you-doors-locked neighborhoods on a weekly basis to play basketball? I mean the real street ball version. The loud, trash talking, dunking version where everybody hogs the ball and refuses to play any sort of team basketball. The kind that would make any fan of Hoosiers cringe. We watch this style on the "And 1 Mixed Tape" tour on ESPN, but I was actually there experiencing it weekly. There was one week I skipped since the Rodney King riots were taking place. After seeing the clip of the truck driver getting pulled out and beaten on TV, both my dad and I thought it may be in our best interest to avoid experiencing that possibility live.

Long before nicknames like "Silent Storm" crossed the lips of coworkers at Linden, I was garnering names like Bird and Paxson because: A) I was white like them B) I could shoot better than any of those guys who only drove for layups or dunks and called fouls every time they missed (which was alot). This is where I developed my tendency to shoot the ball alot. Nobody passed it to me--or anyone else for that matter-- so when I finally got my hands on it, I shot it. It took awhile to gain any kind of respect there and even after a couple strong games I still had a lukewarm reputation.

Many times I was laughed at. I could feel the weird looks too. Many of them never understood me. There was this forced interaction at first. It eventually warmed and I got to know the regulars, but there was always this distance. These weren't members of the church who were very warm and inviting. These were the kids coming off the streets near the church to stay out of trouble. In another coincidence, like my wedding many years later, I returned to teach middle school in this area. Buckeye fans would recognize the high school my students (and these kids) would go to as the home of Ted Ginn Jr. and Troy Smith, Glenville.

Regardless, each week I showed up. I shot my way onto a team and played the "every man for himself" style of basketball. I enjoyed the punch and cake or pretzels or whatever refreshments were there. I got into some interesting conversations with Fr. Tom who oversaw the whole thing. I even tried to talk to some of the girls there. Now THAT was a sight to see.

My point here is that this experience shaped much of who I am today. The silent urge to jack up shots any time I am open when I play basketball. My silence when I play with strangers. Also my interest in different religious topics and theology. My belief that religion/spirituality should be an experience not a ritual.

Finally, my last point is that I have been in a position of a minority. Although, I do understand I will never truly know what it is like to live as a minority every minute of every day, in the end, I still could go home to my safe, comfortable house and live easily. Regardless, I have put myself in that position and seen a glimpse. I even felt that uncomfortable feeling of being the only one like me around and watching other people react awkwardly as a result. I take pride in this.

I think that is a slice.

January 20th, 2009 For This White Man

The inauguration of President Barack Obama is a historic event without a doubt. It is a major event for this country in terms of its race relations. We are going to hear so much about what this means for African American men and women. We should hear it and continue to discuss it. As a thirty-something, straight, white male with a job and health insurance I can't even fathom what it means to African Americans throughout this country, nor will I try to act as though I do. But that doesn't mean this day means little to me.

This day means a good bit.

I look at this as a tremendously positive moment. I also look at this as a momentous opportunity. For my generation, positive moments that captivate and connect people at this magnitude have been rare if existent at all. The memorable moments for us, the moments that everyone around the country remembers where they were when these moments happened include the Space Shuttle disaster and the terrorist attacks on September 11th. These events either faded away after awhile or divided us even more down the road with the resulting wars in the middle east. We have also had the Rodney King beating leading to riots in L.A. and the O.J. Simpson trial which divided us by race.

I look back throughout our history and notice the negative events and issues past generations have also had to deal with like slavery, Civil War, Great Depression, two World Wars, the Civil Rights struggles and its set backs, segregation, Vietnam War and so on. I noticed great leaders rise from those events like F.D.R, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King and Abraham Lincoln. Even controversial leaders played their role like John Brown and Malcolm X. But who has my generation had? Ronald Reagan? Seriously?

While race is an important element to Obama's place in history and position in our country, I am looking to him as a leader of all people like Kennedy, Lincoln, King and the others. I am excited because I really believe he can lead us out of so much that is bad right now. There is no way he can fix everything or fix anything completely. I don't expect him to be a savior. And in the end it is us that will have to make the changes. But we can't and obviously won't without someone to lead us there.

This man can do that.

Whether it is mending the deep wounds that exist between blacks and whites and other groups, guiding us out of economic woes (which again will take US changing our lifestyles and living within or beneath our means for awhile), mending bridges with and earning back the respect of foreign countries, taking back a leadership presence in the world, improving education funding, or becoming more environmentally friendly, this inauguration of this man this day can begin to get us there.

An Observation of Race in America

We are at the cusp of a new era in America. Our first minority President has been elected. We have an unprecedented opportunity to do and experience some amazing things in the next four, or hopefully more, years. This is an opportunity to begin a public discourse and discussion on race and race relations in an open and healthy manner. But we need to be careful. I fear that as easily as we could advance to a much better place as a culture and society and nation, we could also slide to even further, more hateful and divisive depths.

First, I would like to share my personal opinion for the record. I am excited. I am one of the people that wants this to unite us black and white, Democrat and Republican. I want to see African Americans walk around with pride and a sense of investment in this country. I want Republicans to listen to our President and give him a chance. I want us to truly come together to fix the problems with the economy, crime, education, environment and race relations. I think we can. "Yes We Can!" as we have heard so much lately. I feel like Obama can initiate this. I feel like he can lead us. I feel like he motivate us to move forward. His acceptance speech was beautiful. It touched all of the points it needed to hit and in an inspiring way that sent tingles up my spine.

But I am fearful. I realize not everyone is from the same point of view as me. I have several concerns that lead me to believe that we may crumble instead of grow. There are people who do not take all of this the right way. There are people with feelings of bitterness, spite and anger. If there are enough people and they feel strongly enough in these ways, we could be in big trouble.

President Obama cannot and will not fix everything all by himself. I hope everyone realizes this. For beginners, the problems are so big and and so intricate that it is going to take time and patience to fix them correctly. Secondly, Congress will play a major role. Let's not forget our 4th grade Social Studies lessons about Federal Government, the Legislative branch makes the laws and the Executive branch (President Obama) carries out the laws. In addition, the real change is going to have to happen in the streets. We will be the ones changing things for the better. We can't sit here and watch, thinking everything will be hunky dory. And it is not going to be comfortable. It won't be easy. It may get ugly before it gets pretty. Because of this, I worry people will turn for the worse.

I'd like to share several observations and stories I have heard and experienced this past week since Barack Obama was elected. You can form your own judgement.

Exhibit A:
Wednesday, November 5, 2008

African American coworkers were estactic! It was like the Buckeyes won the National Championship except this was much more important. I was feeling much the same way. I was excited to talk to everybody about it and share in the excitement and hope of what may be. For the most part I did. But what struck me was how many African Americans naturally assumed I and my fellow white, male employees voted McSame. There were some bold, blatantly prejudice remarks made about why we'd vote that way as if they were standing in the poll booth with us.

My friend and I discussed this double standard at length and I am noticing mixed feelings. On one hand, that sucks. On the other, well, who really cares? This seemed minor compared to getting pulled over and patted down by a cop because I must be a criminal since I'm driving late at night and I'm black or have a nice car or have my stereo playing loudly. Or dealing with comments and assumptions like this on a daily basis your whole life.

This takes me back to a time in college when I attended an Asian American dance with a roommate of mine who was Indian. I was literally the only white guy, person to be honest, there. It was not the first time I was in a situation where I was the only person of my race. I played basketball at an all black youth group in high school. Larry Bird they called me. I went to an all gay church service before as well. But this dance was still very foreign to me. The music, the languages being spoken, the attire and little nuances were unfamiliar to me. After we left and walked back to the dorm (without any women unfortunately, these were my pre-player days) I made the comment that I felt out of place and my roommate replied, "Now you know how we feel everyday." For some reason, even though it made sense to me and it was something I thought about before that experience, I was struck by it at that time and haven't forgotten it since.

Even though I felt small sliver of what it was like to be a minority, I came to realization that I would never fully appreciate what it was like for him or other minority groups in America. All of those multicultural experiences I have had and still have today will never fully allow to me to 100% understand and relate. I can always go back to being a white, straight male with health insurance and a paycheck in a white, straight man's country. There are others in my position who have had even less exposure or have never had the epiphany I did that evening. Therefore, when I hear comments like those, even though there may be this double standard that they can make prejudice comments but we can't, I can live with it.

Exhibit B:
Friday, November 7th, 2008

I am driving home from a meeting with my daughter's teacher and hear about my Browns losing their Thursday night game. The opponents wide receiver, Brandon Marshall, was talking about a planned celebration he had for after he scored. He was going to pay tribute to Obama's election by taking from the famous fists of Tommie Smith and John Carlos at the 1968 Olympics 40 years ago. He planned to hold his fist in the air but with a glove that was half white and half black. It was supposed to symbolize the coming together of white and black America.

What a great thing to see. It was a move based on unity not division and I had no problem with it. While I thought this move was clever and wished he did it, mainly it was because I wanted him to be penalized and provide Brady with good field position for a game winning drive.......nevermind.

Exhibit C:
Sometime during the week before the election, 2008

My friend's father-in-law drives a bus in a well-to-do suburb of Columbus and noticed one day that all of the kids were chanting "Let's go Bucks. Obama Sucks!" Obviously lots of McCainiacs for parents up there eh?

This is the attitude that scares me.

Exhibit D:
Thursday, November 6, 2008

I hear a kid run down the stairs telling a friend that they were all going to get $1,000 checks since Obama won. I don't think they were talking about the proposed economic stimulus package dems have on the table or the two that Bush pushed through over the past couple years, but that statement reflects what is being said at home and what bothers some people I have talked to.

So here is my fear. The obvious is that Republicans, conservatives, whites or general racists will have such a major problem with Obama that they will purposely sabotage things. Blacks and other minorities will suddenly believe things will automatically get better just because a minority is in the White House. They will feel that they will automatically receive benefits just because of this monumental election without joining in on the work that needs to take place across the board. What I am even more scared about is that many whites who have a problem with this will become so bitter that they deliberately avoid the work we ALL need to do to make this happen or even worse purposely oppose and resist it. Even though their spite is counterproductive to themselves, they will just not be able to get past it.

In the end everyone needs to pitch in here and cooperate. Whites and conservatives will have to resist the urge to fight the changes coming. Critics needs to maintain patience with the Obama administration as his decisions begin to come down the line. Supporters and minorities, black and white and democrat or independent need to continue to work at the grass roots level to fix this stuff.

We need to realize that NOW the work begins. And WE are the ones that need to do it. We can't sit here and expect change without changing ourselves. I pray enough people realize this to make up the critical mass we need to push things forward. (I prefer writing "we" more than "they" like did in that earlier paragraph)

We also need to take advantage of this opportunity before us. We have a black President. We do. Blacks and whites whether we voted for him or not. This could be a platform or a chance to open discussion about race between each other. It will be uncomfortable. It may sting a bit. But both sides need to be tactful but honest and able to take some views they don't want to hear. We both need to listen and be able to take some uncomfortable comments. This is discussion that HAS to happen to push the barrier down. The only way we can begin to live more harmoniously is to do this.

What excited me is that we have a leader that can provide leadership for this. He can be a beacon of hope. He can guide us though it as he, himself, openly discusses race. He seems like he understands this opportunity. He demonstrates a platform of unity and togetherness. He mentioned in his acceptance speech that it is time to bring together democrats, republicans, whites, blacks, gays, straight, rich, poor, able bodied, disabled. This is what I want to hear.

We have an extremely intelligent man in office. He "gets it." Most important to me, he can motivate and inspire us, the people who will make the difference in the end. I trust him.

One more thing: Don't screw with the BCS Mr. President. Let the sports degenerates deal with it.