I Am Casey Blake

Casey Blake:

Mr. Everything for the Cleveland Indians from 2003-2008 who represents a persona I identify with and admire.

Blake never made an All Star team. He never broke any glamorous records. In fact, he was usually one of the last players Tribe fans like myself thought of when we bragged about our team. He was often chastised by local AM radio sports jockeys for being played so much with very little production in their minds.

But Casey Blake showed up everyday with his hard hat and lunch pail. He played almost any position the manager needed.

"Where you need me today coach?" had to be a common question he asked in the dugout everyday. If he wasn't at third base, he was in the outfield. If the outfield was set, he'd go to first base.

You need him to fill the 2 hole in the batting order? "Sure thing coach. I'll try to move the runners and slap some singles."

How about cleanup? "Yup, I'll try to get get some pop and hit in a few runs."

Even in the bottom of the order, Casey Blake was there to fill the hole and never complain about it.

Versatility and consistency defined Blake. His career batting average is .264. Nothing to brag about. He never hit over .282 for a whole season. He did have two seasons hitting 23 and 28 homers, but in the steroid era that is not too impressive. For the most part he is a 15 homer guy. Overall, he is a .265 hitter, 15HR and 70 RBI guy. He has had a couple game winning dingers but clutch isn't an adjective one would use for Blake.

Nothing flashy.

I like to think this is me. Looking at different stages of my life and different aspects of my life, I can relate to the lack of flash. I can also relate to the consistent, reliable, grinder way of things.

In my career, my classroom is not pretty or filled with cool looking things. But the walls consist of necessary references for my students to get the job done. I'm no where near the quality of the "greatest teacher ever if you ask me" teacher in the room next to me, but I clock in everyday and get those kids to learn despite many challenges. I entered my school a decade ago and filled the open spot in fourth grade. I have consistently and reliably kept that spot filled the whole time.

Stability. That's my middle name.

Of course, that is almost the antithesis of the utility style of Mr. Blake (that would go to my good friend who has taught almost every grade level at our school since he entered), but in this case, my consistency is my comparison.

When it comes to sports, I am not anywhere close to most of my friends and peers in terms of athleticism. I am not tall. I am not big or strong. I can't jump. I am not fast. I can't dribble the basketball in traffic. I can't hit the softball over the fence. I make my share of errors in the field. Nobody will ever mistake me for a point guard or cleanup hitter.

I could go on.

But I still play softball every summer. I pitch. I play infield. I play outfield. I'll hit lead off, I'll hit at the end of the order. I can score from second. I make contact. I'll buy a teammate a beer after the game and pound some chicken wings. Cheese garlic bread too.

I continue to contribute to basketball every Wednesday. I'll bring the ball up when I have to but immediately pass when pressured. I'll hit my share of three point shots. I'll hustle for rebounds and steals as best as I can. I'll set picks and try to cut when I avoid my laziness. Overall, I am a middle of the road guy on Wednesday.

Throughout almost every other aspect of my life I am Casey Blake. I am not the guy women will turn their heads at but I have received my share of compliments from numerous ladies, many of whom I trust. I am no comedian, but I can contribute to the laughter. There is no Ph.D in my future but I have been able to learn just enough about a number of things to maintain solid conversations on numerous topics to a point be called "smart" often. I can clock in and go to work within so many topics.

With me, like Casey, you know what you are going to get. It isn't pretty but more often than not, it gets the job done.

I'll take that.

Ten Songs I'm Digging Right Now

I usually go through phases with my listening preferences. Sometimes it may be a particular genre that I am regularly in the mood for and others it is a set of songs. My love for making different playlists on my iPod stems all the way back to high school when I, like many of you out there I am sure, made mixed tape after mixed tape for exercising, chilling, partying or for some girls.

So I thought I would share with you ten of the songs that have been in heavy rotation of late. Granted, there are more than ten. I counted twenty-seven to be exact. But I feel ten would be more concise and interesting. So I picked out ten songs across genres to attempt to show my diverse tastes. That means these are NOT necessarily a top ten list. Just ten songs.

But after the ten were selected, the order in which I present them IS in a sort of descending order. Of these ten, one is my favorite (right now anyway) and two is my second and so on. But these are not indicative of my favorite songs in general.

Enjoy:

10) Number 1 In Deutschland Hanzel Und Gretyl


9) To Kill A Mockingbird Elmer Bernstein
My brother introduced this beautiful song (maybe score?) to me when we were in Alabama for our grandmother's funeral and it moved me. I loved thinking back to my time with my grandmother as this soft music was in the background. Later that summer when my wife and I dealt with our loss, I found myself returning to this song in my time of solitary mourning. One would think I would dislike a song attached to such depressing events, but I really cherish it deeply. I am glad my brother discovered this and shared it with us.


8) Microphone Fiend Eric B. and Rakim
I couldn't get this for the blog but you can check out the video at this url: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6SypUwUho4

Classic rap song. "Nuff said as they like to say. Or liked to say back in the day.

7) Folsom County Blues Johnny Cash
I never thought of myself as a country music guy. In fact, I usually can't stand country. But "The Man in Black" is different. I dig a number of his songs like "Walk the Line" and "Ring of Fire" and "A Boy Named Sue." Right FCBs is the one I find myself singing along to. You can thank Social D for this. Their cover of "Ring of Fire" on their live album "At The Roxy" is what caught my ear and directed me in the direction of Mr. Cash. It was all downhill after that.


6) Drive The Cars
I love the Cars. Right now this song is the one I dig most from them and find myself listening to often.


5) Bullet Frank Black and the Catholics
Heard this song on CD101 in Columbus a ways back and really liked it. Bought it on iTunes and listen to it regularly. This is a home made video of the song, but it works.


4)In The Clouds Under the Influence of Giants
Again, I heard this updeat song on CD101 and couldn't help but move with it. Now my wife has caught on and finds herself enjoying it as well. So now it has become one of "our songs." If the poor thing wasn't so uncomfortable carrying around the littlest one we may actually dance to it too.

Here is a link to the video of this fun song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqkCi2MgupA

3) Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress The Hollies
Of course I am jamming to a song by The Hollies. I love these guys.



2) L.E.S. Artistes Santogold
She recently lost a lawsuit over the spelling of her name so it may be Santigold now.


1) History Stranglers The Bronx
My buddy out in L.A. suggested this band and sent me the video back when I requested music suggestions (a la my sister-in-law) and I jumped on it. This song in particular strucvk my fancy. Good rock! And the video is pretty sweet. (Caution: There is some pretty strong language used in this song....that's for mom.)

Education Reform

President Obama and Ohio Governor, Ted Strickland have both recently spoke out about fixing the mess that is education in our country. I agree there are problems that need to be fixed, but I am not so sure I agree with the ways they propose to fix it.

Being a teacher in an urban setting for over a decade now, I have legitimate perspective on what is wrong where it is wrong. The areas where schools are failing includes the area in which I teach. When you speak of "failing" schools, you speak of my school. When you speak of "failing" teachers, you speak of me.

The classifications of schools are based on results from statewide standardized tests and graduation rates. The federal classifications include Academic Emergency, Academic Watch and..... well I don't know because my school has never had a positive classification. I suppose it would be something like Academically Sweet! Or School of Absolutely Awesome Teachers Who Kick Butt While You Others Stink! Maybe something like Our Schools Work and Yours Doesn't So Do What We Do.

My bitterness is obvious, but you would feel the same if you spent just one school year teaching where I teach let alone a decade.

From the bits and pieces I have heard, I gather the President and Governor both feel that teachers need to be held more accountable. President Obama seems to favor charter schools. They both seem to favor merit pay for teachers. They also want to extend school hours and school years.

Fair enough.

Here are my humble suggestions. Again, these come from someone who is on the front lines and has been for 11 years. I have some credibility.

Teacher Accountability:
How can you not be for this? As I objectively approach this issue I do think we should be held to particular standards. We are the facilitators of the education on the ground level. We are the foot soldiers and have the most influence in the classroom itself so everyone is counting on us to deliver. Therefore, we need to held to high standards. But education and the teaching profession itself is a unique monster.

It is difficult to truly measure a teacher's worth or success. This is because it is totally dependent on somebody else's performance--the student. In addition, it is not dependent on one student but a group of students. Also, a whole year of work is accounted for with a test that is taken on one particular day. A teacher can do everything by the book all or most of the year but have a student come in on test day with any number of problems that weigh heavier on their mind than a test. Finally, the everyday battle of teaching students who are unmotivated or apathetic to the educational process as a whole make it near impossible to be effective enough to earn a positive classification.

Then the emotional and mental toll this takes on a teacher over time begins to eat away at their own motivation and feeling of self-worth. Year after year of dealing with these issues separate from the education of the students and getting labeled as a failure wear on you and negatively affect performance.

I read an analogy in a newspaper article my wife copied for me about holding a doctor accountable for a patient's lack of improvement because the patient did not take the medicine prescribed or followed through with the rehabilitation assigned. Holding teachers accountable based on test scores is like that. Of course, the doctor could prescribe something wrong and would deserve blame for it but just because a patient doesn't recover well doesn't automatically mean they made a mistake or performed their job erroneously.

Charter Schools:
From a business perspective, the charter school model makes sense. It creates competition. Competition increases quality. The good schools and teachers or administrators rise to the top and the others sink and fail and are closed. But as I wrote above, it is difficult to fairly assess this success or failure. Many of the problems are out of the control of the schools.

Merit Pay:
On the surface merit pay makes sense because you would reward good teachers. You would provide incentive for teachers to work harder. But again, harder work by the teachers isn't necessarily the problem here. We are working hard! I have tutored after school and on Saturdays. I have attended professional development. I have stayed late and come in early. I even did work at home for a number of years in addition to the extra hours. My scores still stunk!

The problem is deeper than the effort of the teachers. Honestly, the effort of the students is more important and as hard as we try to encourage, motivate or affect the students' effort, the bottom line is that we can't make them do anything they don't choose to do themselves.

Merit pay will mean teachers in more affluent districts or districts where students come from families that value education will get paid more while teachers in districts where the improvements need to be made the most get paid less.

That isn't fair and it won't fix the problems.

Extending School Days and School Years:
I admit I love my summers off. In fact, I NEED my summers off to rebuild my sanity. But this is not why I think this idea won't be effective. Developmentally, I am not sure kids could benefit from the longer days. Their attention wanes by the end of the day as it is. More hours would just be a waste of time because their attention won't be focused like it needs to be to be worthwhile.

Here is my suggestion: Instead of extending the year or days, change the format. There are several schools in our district that are year round. I don't have any data to support their success or lack thereof and due to the neighborhoods in which they are located, I doubt they are overwhelming successful, but allow me to give you the theory behind why this format would be more effective than extending the hours or year.

This format maintains the 180 days of school per school year but eliminates the summer. Students attend school for four nine week periods with three weeks between each. This keeps them in a routine because there is no three month gap. This gap often creates the need to spend weeks getting them back into the school routine every year. Most importantly, the three week intercessions between the grading periods can be used for enrichment or remediation. Students that are struggling can catch up in the three weeks between the four grading periods. Gifted students can have opportunities to extend their learning during these intercessions. Students who need a break can get a break. The intention of extending the school years would be served this way in my mind. It also allows for choice and flexibility for parents and students and teachers.


Final Shots:
The problems with education have less to do with teachers and more to do with the funding or lack of funding (ruled uncontitutional in Ohio), lack of support from parents, students themselves and the general lack of value of teachers. Education is a difficult problem to solve. There are so many underlying factors outside of the schools that you can't pinpoint one specific thing to do in the schools to cure the ills.

I think we can start with fixing the funding problems, move to year round schools and try to encourage more support for schools through volunteers and instilling a general value in education. We need to repair the relationship and trust between teachers and parents. Finally, parents need to be held more accountable. They need to initiate communication with the teachers and play a more direct role in their child's education with the teacher.

Basketball Is Life

This is not a sports post so Carrie and Michelle can continue reading, I promise. The whole Basketball is Life metaphor may have been done already (see One Tree Hill...I don't, I just heard about it from my sister and observe my wife's passing interest in it), but I thought I'd give my spin on this metaphor.

They say the NBA is a game of runs. One team may jump out to a big lead but you know that their opponent will make a spirited comeback at some point. The ability to counter that comeback determines whether that initial leads holds or not.

In addition, anyone who has played basketball for an extended period of time has noticed that they have days where anything they throw in the air goes through the hoop and then without explanation nothing goes in no matter how easy, open or close they are to the hoop. It is a great feeling to be in the zone as it is called and play with all the confidence in the world. On the flip side, it may be the most frustrating feeling to do everything right and still be unable to make one stinking shot.

Teams can experience the same phenomenon. They can "click" on all cylinders passing the ball crisply and accurately, getting easy shots and making them as well as grabbing every rebound on both ends of the court and staying in the face of their opponent every time they try to shoot. Their energy can seem to be at full power and unending. Then before that very same game is over, they find themselves sputtering and stagnant, unable to do what they want and are usually capable of doing. The very same team in the very same arena playing the very same opponent on the very same day.

Life is like this.

You have periods where you feel like you can do no wrong. Whatever you say or do and feel is right. Without even trying, you ace a test or you understand a concept you are learning in school. Maybe you accomplish a task at work with ease. You walk up to that girl or guy and say the perfect thing that attracts them and accurately demonstrates the awesome person you are. You feel good and do good things as a result. People shower you with praise and adulation. You feel like you can conquer the world! If only more people listened to you, the world would be a better place for all! You should write a book about how to live life.

Then without notice or anticipation, BAM! Nothing seems to go right. You stumble over yourself with that girl or guy you met only last week. You fail a test at school or just can't grasp the concept your teacher is presenting no matter how much you read, listen or study (Exhibit A: My attempt at a Math major and the immediate inability to make it through the last course of calculus). You screw up a major task at work and you let down your fellow workers and boss. You say things you regret to people you care about. You feel downright angry and pitiful. "How did this happen?" you wonder. I might be the worst person who every walked this planet. Everything goes wrong for me. And the pity party begins.

But most of the game is made up of a back and forth of buckets or missed shots on the offensive end and buckets or stops on the defensive end. Outside of a random dunk or blocked shot, a good day or bad day, most of the events go unnoticed soon after they occur. The runs are what stick in your head.

I would like to think that I haven't reached halftime of my game yet. I hope I am somewhere in the second quarter. So the outcome of my game is far from determined. There is a lot of game left to be played and I still can make some halftime adjustments.

I don't want to lose my game. I want to win.

Right now, I feel as though my opponent is going on one of those runs. I started out of the gate pretty quick. I took an early lead. My teammates set me up and I have been carrying my share for most of this quarter. But I am starting to have a hard time. I can't buy a bucket right now. Every rebound is bouncing their way. Each time I think I get a stop, I get called for a foul. I am trying to stick to the fundamentals and do what I was taught and what I learned on my own, but nothing seems to be working. I can't stop the other squad from scoring and they are getting easy points in the paint. They are out hustling me. They are just too physical for me right now.

I have tried to take my timeouts effectively, but even those are unable to stop the bleeding. Part of the reason may be the fact that I don't have a coach. I am getting lost out here. What has worked for me up until now isn't working. The coach I had didn't see eye to eye with me. I didn't feel as though I needed to conform to the coach but I needed to find a coach that would fall in line with me.

I am worried the deficit I am finding myself under is too much to overcome. But I do NOT want to lose. I am too damn competitive to lose this game. I must find a way to make a run of my own. If I can cut the deficit to single digits before halftime, I'll feel better. I just need some shots to start going. I need a rebound or two to bounce my way or my teammates' way. If I can get a second chance shot, I know I'll drill it. Or I'll get it to someone who will.

One thing I have learned from living life and watching basketball: The ball doesn't just bounce your way, you have to go get it.

I Love My Emergent Reader

I have mentioned in past posts that my daughter has some serious development delays leading to a very difficult time. Education is very important to me. My daughter's success in school is something I consider a high priority. These cognitive issues make it hard for her to succeed.

Nevertheless, I bust my rear end to teach this child everything I can. Since birth, I have attempted to make books and reading a major part of her life. From the looks of it, I have succeeded. To this day, she plays with books as much as any other toy she has in her room or in the basement.

But while many children her age are speaking more fluently and reading with a much deeper vocabulary and higher cognitive ability, my beloved little one struggles to put sentences together that people outside her immediate family can understand. She can barely maintain a conversation because she is unable to process what is being told to her. It breaks my heart. It scares me to death.

Nonetheless, we push forward. With the support of my loving wife, her stepmother who loves her dearly, I look for ways to close the gap as much as I can. I continue to do the best I can to accept her for who she is but at the same time I want what is best for her and I want her to be the best she can be. I don't believe I can just let that happen. I believe I need to be proactive, especially in her case.

One strength she has is her memory. It still may not be the same as her peers. Or much of her shortcomings may be more a result of her processing problems or inability to communicate than a delay itself. In other words, her issues may be an output problem more than an input problem.

So we have tried to use her memory to help her. She memorizes many things. We hope this memorization can help carry her until she develops the ability to conceptualize things better. She is getting good. She is able to recite 75% of her sight words. She knows her letter sounds and we continue to work on using these sounds to sound out words.

The assessments at school are not turning out well. She is not passing them. Part of the reason is the context. She is not handling the testing situation well. She knows more than the tests are showing. Regardless, we push forward.

Tonight we read Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham" again. We read that book so often that we own two copies. I read one copy while she reads the other. I mention this anecdote because tonight she read more of the book independently than ever before.

It was truly remarkable.

Watching my little one read a whole page of a book was one of the most precious things I have ever witnessed. I understand it was only "Green Eggs and Ham." I watched her read the words she knew. I witnessed her looking at the pictures for cues. She used the rhyming to help her guess the words she didn't know. She also used her memory from the countless reads of the text we had done throughout her life to figure out unknown words. She demonstrated that she is acquiring and using the skills that will help her grow as a reader. It wasn't perfect. We still stumbled through some parts. But today is not the end of the journey, today is just the beginning.

She may only be emerging as a reader, but I still adore my little emergent reader.

Bloody Pillowcases

Twice in the past month or so I have come to find blood stains on my pillow case. How they originated is a mystery. My wife is disgusted and livid that I am ruining bed sheets with these stains. We both want to know where they are coming from.

Never before have I experienced this. Could it be bleeding gums? I was just in to see the dentist and she gave me a clean bill of health. My gums look fine according to a professional. I am not spitting blood when I brush my teeth either.

I have no facial cuts to leak blood on my pillow and sheet. So that is out. What on this side of the pillow is going on?

Are those reptilians I spoke of in my 2012 apocalypse post for real and messing with me at night?

Let me add this anecdote. During this same period I have had some very scary dreams. I would think they could qualify as bona fide nightmares. They are too graphic for this blog. I know for a fact they are results of my anxiety. If I didn't, it would be a clue that they are a result of too much anxiety by the fact that I am not writing about them out of the fear that if I make them public, they will come true. I think this despite the fact that they are so over the top ridiculous that it would be humanly impossible to do so. In my dreams the setting, characters and events usually don't match. For example, I may have a dream about teaching but it would be in a hospital and my aunts and uncles would be my students. That would never happen.

Despite this, I refuse to publicly display my dreams out of fear that they would play out in my life. But I have confided in my wife. I have told her about two of the dreams. There have been plenty more but they haven't stuck in my memory like the two I revealed to her.

So armed with this knowledge and her observations, we both sought out to discuss why I am waking up with blood stained pillow cases and sheets.

We have determined that I am biting my lips so hard at night during these horrifying nightmares that they are starting to bleed. She did notice they were bleeding slightly during the day at one point during this period of bloody sheets.

It all makes sense but it is still a hypothesis....until I catch those darned Reptilians from the fourth dimension sitting on my chest at night.

How I Met Your Mommy

Baby we are still over three months from my first opportunity to meet you. But I have been thinking a lot about you. Last night I thought I would write about how your mother and I met. Really, this meeting was the beginning of a long series of events that have led to your existence.

Even though we both grew up in northeast Ohio and watched the same local celebrities, followed the same local sports teams, rode on the same local highways and roads and dealt with the same weather when we were kids, your mom and I didn't meet until we were both students at Ohio State in Columbus. Ohio State runs in your blood, baby. Your uncle Doug, Grandpa Hoyt, Great Grandpa Matthews are all Buckeyes.

My roommate and a coworker needed players for an intra-mural softball team and as you will find out growing up, your daddy doesn't say no to playing softball. Your mommy lived on the same floor as my roommate's coworker and also chose to play. On a cloudy late March day with snow falling, your mom and I played catch to warm up before the game started.

In an effort to break the ice with your beautiful mother, I opened the conversation with the natural question of "Where are you from?" Once she responded, "Brecksville" I had my in. From there we discussed the disparity in radio quality between Cleveland and Columbus. Some may debate that quality radio is an oxymoron but that will have to wait for another post.

Baby, the chemistry that existed in that very new conversation was for real. Over the next months your mom and I played softball together on a weekly basis. The coming summer meant she would head home while I stayed in Columbus. Instead of losing touch with one another, a funny thing happened that summer. We continued to talk on the phone weekly. We shared what was going on in our lives and we even met up to hang out in Cleveland.

In the coming years baby, your mom and I took two very different paths. Even though lifestyles and locations seemed to differ greatly, sometimes a whole country apart, we never lost touch. There was a reason for this.

Baby, Mommy and I both hit moments in our lives where we needed some support. Not coincidentally your mother and I found each other. Our friendship quickly turned into a commitment that will span the rest of our lives. It has created a bond that has become stronger every passing day and every passing event both good and bad. It also created an opportunity for us to share you.

I look forward to meeting you face to face, baby. This day has been a long time coming.

St. Thomas Aquinas Cleveland, Ohio

I remember a story my dad told me about a guy he knew in the army. If I recall the story correctly, this fellow soldier voluntarily went to Vietnam during the war and my father asked him why he would request to go there. He responded by telling my dad he looked at life like a pie and he wanted to eat as much of it as he could. To him, Vietnam was another piece of that pie.

This was a story I always liked and tried to apply to the "variety is the spice of life" mantra. I look through my life thus far and notice that a number of people I know have lived this way. My wife spent time in Los Angeles. She worked in a variety of different career fields such as business, mentally challenged adults and now special education at the middle school level. My brother and sister-in-law lived in Sweden and spent time in Tanzania and India. They spent a night in a hotel made of ice. They traveled all over Europe.

Meanwhile, I haven't traveled anywhere. I have lived in Ohio my whole life. I haven't skydived. I haven't bungee jumped. I haven't spent the night in a haunted house. I missed out on seeing Yankee Stadium. I haven't done a number of things I wanted and still want to do.

But I think I still have enjoyed a kind of variety that others may not have experienced. While my time has been in Ohio, I have managed to immerse myself as the minority in a number of different contexts with several different cultures or ways of life despite location. I have blogged about some of these experiences already. This time I feel like focusing on my experience at a church called St. Thomas Aquinas which was located in east Cleveland near Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Coincidentally, I ended up getting married very near to this church.

How many white teenagers born and raised in an affluent suburb get to be a legitimate, participating member of church where the congregation shouts "Amen!" during the sermon? Just like you see on TV but for real. How many would witness their fellow members wave their hands in the air and vocally agree with the minister? A Franciscan monk in this particular case. Would they be a part of the sign of peace that is a social happy hour where every person in the room walks to every other person and passes peace in a sincere, purposeful manner?

I really don't think many do.

In addition, how many would dare travel into this same scary, keep-you-doors-locked neighborhoods on a weekly basis to play basketball? I mean the real street ball version. The loud, trash talking, dunking version where everybody hogs the ball and refuses to play any sort of team basketball. The kind that would make any fan of Hoosiers cringe. We watch this style on the "And 1 Mixed Tape" tour on ESPN, but I was actually there experiencing it weekly. There was one week I skipped since the Rodney King riots were taking place. After seeing the clip of the truck driver getting pulled out and beaten on TV, both my dad and I thought it may be in our best interest to avoid experiencing that possibility live.

Long before nicknames like "Silent Storm" crossed the lips of coworkers at Linden, I was garnering names like Bird and Paxson because: A) I was white like them B) I could shoot better than any of those guys who only drove for layups or dunks and called fouls every time they missed (which was alot). This is where I developed my tendency to shoot the ball alot. Nobody passed it to me--or anyone else for that matter-- so when I finally got my hands on it, I shot it. It took awhile to gain any kind of respect there and even after a couple strong games I still had a lukewarm reputation.

Many times I was laughed at. I could feel the weird looks too. Many of them never understood me. There was this forced interaction at first. It eventually warmed and I got to know the regulars, but there was always this distance. These weren't members of the church who were very warm and inviting. These were the kids coming off the streets near the church to stay out of trouble. In another coincidence, like my wedding many years later, I returned to teach middle school in this area. Buckeye fans would recognize the high school my students (and these kids) would go to as the home of Ted Ginn Jr. and Troy Smith, Glenville.

Regardless, each week I showed up. I shot my way onto a team and played the "every man for himself" style of basketball. I enjoyed the punch and cake or pretzels or whatever refreshments were there. I got into some interesting conversations with Fr. Tom who oversaw the whole thing. I even tried to talk to some of the girls there. Now THAT was a sight to see.

My point here is that this experience shaped much of who I am today. The silent urge to jack up shots any time I am open when I play basketball. My silence when I play with strangers. Also my interest in different religious topics and theology. My belief that religion/spirituality should be an experience not a ritual.

Finally, my last point is that I have been in a position of a minority. Although, I do understand I will never truly know what it is like to live as a minority every minute of every day, in the end, I still could go home to my safe, comfortable house and live easily. Regardless, I have put myself in that position and seen a glimpse. I even felt that uncomfortable feeling of being the only one like me around and watching other people react awkwardly as a result. I take pride in this.

I think that is a slice.

January 20th, 2009 For This White Man

The inauguration of President Barack Obama is a historic event without a doubt. It is a major event for this country in terms of its race relations. We are going to hear so much about what this means for African American men and women. We should hear it and continue to discuss it. As a thirty-something, straight, white male with a job and health insurance I can't even fathom what it means to African Americans throughout this country, nor will I try to act as though I do. But that doesn't mean this day means little to me.

This day means a good bit.

I look at this as a tremendously positive moment. I also look at this as a momentous opportunity. For my generation, positive moments that captivate and connect people at this magnitude have been rare if existent at all. The memorable moments for us, the moments that everyone around the country remembers where they were when these moments happened include the Space Shuttle disaster and the terrorist attacks on September 11th. These events either faded away after awhile or divided us even more down the road with the resulting wars in the middle east. We have also had the Rodney King beating leading to riots in L.A. and the O.J. Simpson trial which divided us by race.

I look back throughout our history and notice the negative events and issues past generations have also had to deal with like slavery, Civil War, Great Depression, two World Wars, the Civil Rights struggles and its set backs, segregation, Vietnam War and so on. I noticed great leaders rise from those events like F.D.R, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King and Abraham Lincoln. Even controversial leaders played their role like John Brown and Malcolm X. But who has my generation had? Ronald Reagan? Seriously?

While race is an important element to Obama's place in history and position in our country, I am looking to him as a leader of all people like Kennedy, Lincoln, King and the others. I am excited because I really believe he can lead us out of so much that is bad right now. There is no way he can fix everything or fix anything completely. I don't expect him to be a savior. And in the end it is us that will have to make the changes. But we can't and obviously won't without someone to lead us there.

This man can do that.

Whether it is mending the deep wounds that exist between blacks and whites and other groups, guiding us out of economic woes (which again will take US changing our lifestyles and living within or beneath our means for awhile), mending bridges with and earning back the respect of foreign countries, taking back a leadership presence in the world, improving education funding, or becoming more environmentally friendly, this inauguration of this man this day can begin to get us there.

Healthcare

I have a feeling it was "meant to be" that I write this post. I was thinking the other day about writing something in regards to universal healthcare. Then I read my cousin's note on facebook that ignited a rather heated debate with an extremely conservative, priestly colleague of his. My cousin, sister and I joined in this "conversation" regarding universal healthcare or socialized healthcare as this priest in training put it.

My original intention was to write about my observations and thoughts regarding a student of mine who has been out of school for a bit due to her sibling's recent health issue that is identical to what I have been through with my daughter. While I don't want to get into their private matters in a public post like this, I am certain they don't have the same insurance that I am lucky enough to have. But for the sake of discussion, let us just say that there are families in their position who are not insured because we know there are. So here I go in a stream of consciousness style of writing because I have very little substance to share.

How do families liek the one I spoke of above pay for the care they need? I recall being in that very same position in terms of health and all the emotions and thoughts running through my head WITH insurance. No matter how scared I was, I knew my daughter would receive care and I could afford my portion. Despite that I was stressed out and almost in a panic. This poor family. These poor families that must experience that, or worse, and not know where the money is going to come from.

I am speaking from ignorance, but do they even receive the same service? Do they get shortchanged because the doctors and nurses know they can't pay for it? Is this ethical or common? Is this where medicare or medicaid come in?

I realize this post isn't giving answers or opinions as much as asking questions. This is where I am with this right now. I feel horrible for this family and others families like them. Thinking about this makes me think we need to find some way to create viable healthcare for all. But I have no idea where to begin.

There is still part of me that gets frustrated when my tax money meant to help people like these in situations like these gets abused by these people. Or gets abused by the government in charge of passing it out appropriately. So I don't know exactly where I stand. I get tired of standing behind people in line at the corner grocery store across from my school watching them use food stamps ad then using cash to buy 40 ounce malt liquor and cigarettes. Or the food they buy is doughnuts and chips and other junk food. I am not speaking in stereotypes, this is what I see frequently. Am I wrong to judge like this?

Boy oh boy, just looking back on my experience in the healthcare system makes me count my blessings for how lucky I am.

Game Within The Game: Mission Statement

There is this part of me that wishes I could get paid to write about sports. Before I chose to go into education, I did want to pursue journalism. I never pulled that trigger. I wouldn't call it a regret, but if I lived my life over again knowing what I know now, I just might have tried that route. So I am going to take this opportunity to "play" sports journalist. I can pretend to be something I always wanted to be but lacked the confidence to try.

In this vain I have started my second blog which is devoted to sports. It is off and running. If you haven't noticed or taken a look, click the link to the right. But this post is about my objective and intent with that blog.

I have had a number of ideas and directions in which I wanted to go with it but finally settled on this: A forum. Instead of going solo which I originally was thinking, I acquired the help of a fellow sports fan who shares team allegiances but differs in opinion enough to make his partnership interesting. I also have asked numerous friends around the country to "contribute" through comments or posts of their own (still working that out). I figured this would help achieve my goals of creating a forum vibe or style.

We are only a week into this thing, but I like the direction it seems to be going. My hopes were that the dialogue on the blog would be much like that of a conversation you would have sitting at a bar watching a game, gathering around the water cooler Monday morning with your work colleagues, emailing friends of yours regarding the big game, spending time with your extended family at gatherings and holiday celebrations, at a cookout around the grill, tailgating outside the stadium before a game or while sitting in the stands watching the games and talking to your partners and/or fellow fans sitting in your row or section.

I figured that would best happen if I gathered up those people with whom I have these types of conversations on a regular basis and get them to contribute. That would hopefully create a critical mass of people creating and continuing discussion and debate and good natured trash talking. We can commiserate about losses and bad calls together. We can celebrate victories and glorious plays! We can predict and assess. We can analyze and breakdown and share what "should" have happened.

With this as the fundamental objective of the blog, I hope to gain more viewers and readers. Ideally, this blog would be circulated around more circles than just my own. More people would join in and comment and extend the conversation. After all, what do guys (and many girls) love more than talking sports? Well, drinking beer and watching sports...but I'm not stopping them from cracking a cold one while reading our blog. Assuming they are 21 and not driving anywhere afterwards.

The blog is already generating good stuff. Where it goes is yet to be seen. It is and always will be a work in progress. Baddeley and I have a good mindset for this baby. We both want to take our hallway conversations and share them with you. We know some people who share our passion and look forward to sharing this with them too.

Check it out!

Facing My Mortality

Before my daughter was born I was like most 20 somethings. I lived an active social life and enjoyed many things I don't and can't anymore. At the time I rarely obsessed over death like I do now. While I feared death, I didn't want to die, I didn't look over my shoulder every three minutes for it.

Over the past 7 years, I have grown up a good bit. I have calmed down as well. I understand this is a natural part of my maturity. But is this overcharged realization of my mortality that I have been dealing with also an effect? It would make sense. Maybe this can be chalked up to a midlife crisis so to speak. Of course, it would be a bit early for that but nothing is exact.

I think I had those same feelings of invincibility most people do in their 20s. I think many of us come to terms with things as we enter our 30s. For me, having my daughter around fast forwarded me to those thoughts of, "I could die." I don't mean the idea that we die some day. Obviously we are aware of that as children. I mean the realization that you won't be here forever and the thoughts about what you are going to do about it.

Having a little one makes me worry even more than I normally do---which is a lot. I constantly worry about her safety and happiness, but I also worry about being here for her.

There are things I need to do to look out for her. I need to make sure things are taken care of for her. I have progressed to a point where I think about what I do in terms of her well being. I would like to clean up some of my actions though. At times I make mistakes. Also, I need to get my legal and financial items in shape so she isn't left in a bad way.

I'll be honest. I am scared to death of death. Having a child....eh um, children, scares me even more.

Footprints

I received a belated birthday card from my mother this week. In it she wrote an extended letter that was very heart warming. This hasn't been the first positive letter, email or phone call I have received from her, my father or other family, friends and loved ones recently. It has also been a tough time for me personally lately.

As I reflected on this fact I was reminded of the well known poem called "Footprints." I do not who wrote it but it was about a guy who walks down a beach and looks back at his footprints. These footprints represent his life. As he looked back he noticed there were two sets of footprints, one being his and the other being Jesus'. But during the hard times in his life one set was missing. The man was upset thinking he was abandoned during these times. But to his surprise, these were the times Jesus picked him up and carried him.

I realize this may come off as a bit religious and I proclaim not to be a religious person. Some of you may consider me a hypocrite. So be it. I have always liked the idea of this poem regardless of its religious connotation. There is this feeling of safety and security that comes with it.

The letter from my mother and the support of so many friends and loved ones over the past year and more has reminded me of this poem. In my own way I have had people pick me up and carry me during this stretch. It hasn't been one person, but many.

I am truly grateful to these people and their kindness and support.

Ok, I Get the Point

So three followers? THREE!?

Ouch.

You all prefer to remain anonymous I suppose. Ok. No problem.

All joking aside......I enjoy the conversations from all of you who DO read regulary or every now and again and I ask the sports fans of my following to check out: www.gamewithinthegame.blogspot.com

The rest of you that don't care much for my sports opinions, continue to keep an eye on this here blog for more tidbits from "The One."

2009 Fiesta Bowl Recap

Ohio State and Texas thrilled Fiesta Bowl viewers last night with an exciting football game. All indicators leading up to the game led us to believe the Buckeyes were in over their heads and had no business being in the same stadium as the Texas Longhorns. I, too, wrote how the Longhorns would cruise to an easy 37-6 type of game. But to my delight that did not happen. The Buckeyes went blow for blow with Texas demonstrating that they belonged on the same field with the Big 12 powerhouse.

They hung in there through the first half. They were able to go in the locker room with a 6-3 lead. Nobody expected the powerful Longhorn offense to be held to a field goal for 30 minutes. Ohio State then weathered a Texas storm in the third quarter and answered with a 15 point run of their own to take a 21-17 lead with 2 minutes left in the game. That alone impressed me. I thought the Buckeyes were dead to rights after the two third quarter TDs, but when it was gut check time, they responded.

But as my brother said and I thought...."TOO MUCH TIME!!!!!!" The Buckeye offense scored too fast. They left Colt McCoy 2 minutes to score. That is just way too much time for the potent offense from Texas. Despite being inches from a 4th down stand, the defense of Ohio State could not hold McCoy. An aggressive play call to blitz McCoy left the slant open over the middle and Anderson Russell couldn't make the stop allowing Texas to score and clinch the nail biting victory.

I wrote six things that needed to happen for Ohio State to win and they came up just short delivering on 5 of them. That perfectly translated to the game in which Ohio State came up just short of winning.

I wrote Wells had to have a big game. He did until he suffered a concussion in the second half. He needs to go pro because he can't go more than 2 games without getting hurt. He needs to get his paycheck while he still can. Back to the game, Wells rushed for 106 yards averaging 6.6 and breaking several big, important runs. his success kept the ball out of the Longhorns' hands. It allowed for the Bucks to control the clock and the game in the first half and was a big reason they had a lead.

I also said the defense HAD to show up and they did. Again, they held the explosive Longhorns to a field goal in the first half and earned a critical three and out in the 4th quarter as well. Unfortunately, in the third quarter the offense sputtered which resulted in little time to rest for the defense. The Longhorns capitalized with a hurry up offense and were able to get two big touchdowns.

I wrote the coaches needed to avoid the same old stagnant game plan. They came through to a certain degree. The Boeckman/Pryor alternating was different and done well from my point of view. It would have been nice to see Boeckman throw underneath a bit more instead of going deep almost every time he was in there, but it was a departure from the same old play calling. They definitely went away from the classic Tressel ball school of conservative power I over and over. But there were two drives in the third quarter where they relapsed. That hurt.

Defensively they were much more aggressive and I think that was good. The zone blitz crap they used against Florida and others was annoying and unsuccessful. This time around they were able to get pressure on McCoy and they were able to stuff the run for the most part. The one problem, and it killed us, was sticking to the blitz on the game winning play and leaving the middle of the field wide open for the slant. McCoy saw it and abused it. Many people will call into AM radio and complain, but hindsight is 20/20. We all begged for more aggression from the defense and we got it. you can't have it both ways. Maybe that one time though????

They did play with heart and they did play physical. Even though Gibson was called for costly penalties for hits to the QB (one of which was a bad call), I liked idea behind it. I liked the effort to hit the QB hard and make him think.

I said the Buckeyes couldn't make more mistakes and had to win field position. They had no turnovers and forced one. Their penalties were more costly though. Field position was a wash.

Finally, I said Terrelle Pryor had to have his best game. Not only did he NOT have his best game, I feel he had his worst game. This is not to say I blame him for the loss, but he made a number of freshmen mistakes running out of bounds before th first down marker despite having a clear path beyond it. He also made some bad throws and still isn't throwing it away and taking big sacks. The big thing was that it was glaringly obvious the offense had no passing game whatsoever when he was in there. They relied solely on his legs. Granted they are pretty darn good legs and are able to gain plenty of yards but as the game proved, you can't score consistently with it.

Overall, I feel better than I did after the last two BCS Title games. They were over matched in those two games and it was embarrassing. This time, the Buckeyes hung in there well and after going down, they manned up and fought back. Really, they were inches away from winning this game despite the loss of their star running back and lack of a passing game. They played with passion and showed great effort. Programs like Ohio state don't have moral victories. The bar is set too high for those. We expect National Titles here. There is a lot of work to be done. Next year could be ugly. But as for this particular game.....I am proud of my guys even if the loss hurts.