So with the school year fast approaching and little action on my sports blog, I have officially ended it tonight. I will continue to write about sports topics since that is an area of interest for me on this blog. I will continue to export these posts to bleacherreport.com since I have a much larger audience through that site.
In the end, it is much easier for me to just simplify things and stay focused. If I have a sports related topic on my mind, I can still share it with everybody here and with interested sports fan over there.
Thank you.
R.I.P. Game Within The Game 2009-2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Thoughts On A News Special About OCD
Tonight I watched a special on children with obsessive compulsive disorder. These poor children were battling paralyzing anxiety that lead to the disorder. One girl could not live at home and refused to allow her parents to touch her. Another teenage female couldn't attend school out of fear of her fellow students and how "dirty" they were.
A third young boy reminded me of my own daughter. He repeatedly asked his mother questions about how the day would be much like my daughter. She is obsesses with what we will eat each meal or where we are to go or what we are to do that day. This young man was desperately seeking comfort and security that he would be ok. It resembled my daughter's constant need to know what is going to happen or what we are going to eat. She seems to be seeking some sort of security or comfort. But even if you answer their questions, both my daughter and this boy would ask again.....and again and again. It doesn't seem to matter if it is an answer they like or not. They will need to hear it again later.
Many times we will return the question to my daughter testing if it is a memory issue, but she correctly recalls the answer. She inevitably asks again within 10 minutes. It can be very frustrating and wearing on our patience. I was able to relate the the parents of the boy featured on this show. They were brought to tears during the interview. Fortunately, I haven't been brought to that point with this particular issue, but I know it is not easy.
This brings me to two other thoughts as I reflect on this show. First, my own anxiety is only getting worse. My nightly ritual of checking the perimeter of the house is getting more elaborate. Not only do I need to check the locks, but I check every window and both my daughter's chests to make sure they are breathing. Many times I even poke my wife to make sure her heart is still beating. Parenthood has greatly increased my anxiety and worry.
Secondly, I think about my students and how I should handle things when they behave in these erratic ways. After watching this special I know I need to show much more compassion. I try to be strict and maintain high expectations and usually chalk up weird behavior as attention getting behavior more than a serious disorder. But what if the eccentric behavior is a sign of budding OCD?
I have been lucky to be surrounded by knowledgeable support staff throughout most of my career to ask these questions when I have run into it in the past, but if levies keep failing, I won't for long.
A third young boy reminded me of my own daughter. He repeatedly asked his mother questions about how the day would be much like my daughter. She is obsesses with what we will eat each meal or where we are to go or what we are to do that day. This young man was desperately seeking comfort and security that he would be ok. It resembled my daughter's constant need to know what is going to happen or what we are going to eat. She seems to be seeking some sort of security or comfort. But even if you answer their questions, both my daughter and this boy would ask again.....and again and again. It doesn't seem to matter if it is an answer they like or not. They will need to hear it again later.
Many times we will return the question to my daughter testing if it is a memory issue, but she correctly recalls the answer. She inevitably asks again within 10 minutes. It can be very frustrating and wearing on our patience. I was able to relate the the parents of the boy featured on this show. They were brought to tears during the interview. Fortunately, I haven't been brought to that point with this particular issue, but I know it is not easy.
This brings me to two other thoughts as I reflect on this show. First, my own anxiety is only getting worse. My nightly ritual of checking the perimeter of the house is getting more elaborate. Not only do I need to check the locks, but I check every window and both my daughter's chests to make sure they are breathing. Many times I even poke my wife to make sure her heart is still beating. Parenthood has greatly increased my anxiety and worry.
Secondly, I think about my students and how I should handle things when they behave in these erratic ways. After watching this special I know I need to show much more compassion. I try to be strict and maintain high expectations and usually chalk up weird behavior as attention getting behavior more than a serious disorder. But what if the eccentric behavior is a sign of budding OCD?
I have been lucky to be surrounded by knowledgeable support staff throughout most of my career to ask these questions when I have run into it in the past, but if levies keep failing, I won't for long.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Listening To My Brain Melt In My Head
I had some time on my hands this afternoon and decided to stray from the routine of ESPN's daytime programming. My surfing took me to Maury and his daily paternity testing talk show. The wife and I wondered aloud what Connie Chung must be thinking when he arrives home each night after another day of this as his job. We also questioned where she has been since her days on the national news.
But I wasn't done there. After dropping my oldest off with her maternal grandmother, I returned home to feed the youngest and watch some more captivating programming. This time I was caught in the midst of three straight court shows. I don't recall their names but you know what I am talking about. The newest versions of People's Court ( a personal favorite of my business law teacher in high school, Mr. Ron Rose) and Judge Judy.
The running theme of the day seemed to be men finding out if they were Fathers or not.
Sigh.
Each time the man owned up to his fatherhood and said he would "be there" for the child.
Oh yay!
I gathered that I was supposed to feel a sense of closure with the happy ending that the man would fulfill his duty as the dad and provide for the child. What a great guy. That is very commendable. Good for him. He is a true man.
Putting aside the fact that there are plenty of absentee fathers out there and this IS better than that alternative (assuming these men follow through on what they said in front of the cameras....they will soon find out saying you will be there is not the same as actually being there), I do not walk away from the at show feeling warm and fuzzy inside.
I'm pissed!
What have things come to that just "being there" is something worthy of accolades, cheers and the title of "Good Father?" Have we set the bar for fathers that low?
Fathers owe their children much more than just diapers and clothes and shelter. Just being there is a requisite. It is a must. We should expect it as a baseline. This doesn't make you a good father, it makes you a father period.
Let's relate it to sports. Showing up for the game doesn't make you a good player. It makes you a player. That's it. You may be better than others in the general population because you are there and on the team, but you are not necessarily a good player.
Trust me. I know. I show up to my softball games and I am not a good softball player. I can speak from experience.
To be a good player, you need to go above and beyond being there and take your game to the next level. You need to make minimal mistakes or fix the mistakes that are made. You make plays others cannot and do things others are not capable of doing.
So good fathers are ones that take fatherhood to the next level. We do things other men can't do. We make minimal mistakes and manage the mistakes we do make.
We use this analogy at my school (and I am sure others): our students need to be citizens not tourists. They need to be invested and committed to the classroom.
Likewise, fathers need to be citizens of our children's lives, not visiting tourists. We need to not just "be there" but be "part of there." Beyond buying stuff and showing up for big events, we need to be there for little things and provide a daily role model in the routine stuff as well as the big stuff or the financial stuff.
I don't measure my job as a dad based on the money I provide, the amount of time I spend with them or the amount of material goods I provide for my daughters. I measure it by that and the way I spend the time and the support I lend their mothers and the way I model my values for them. The love, compassion, emotion, discipline and routine we instill are critical elements of fatherhood that separate good fathers from fathers.
I'm not trying to blast all dads out there. I fully realize there are particular scenarios that make many of these elements difficult or impossible for fathers who sincerely mean to fulfill them. That doesn't make them bad fathers.
My point here is that we should set our bar for "Good Father" a bit higher than just showing up. We don't go out of our way to call mothers who just show up "Good Mothers." We take them for granted. We expect them to be there.
We should expect that as basic from our dads too.
But I wasn't done there. After dropping my oldest off with her maternal grandmother, I returned home to feed the youngest and watch some more captivating programming. This time I was caught in the midst of three straight court shows. I don't recall their names but you know what I am talking about. The newest versions of People's Court ( a personal favorite of my business law teacher in high school, Mr. Ron Rose) and Judge Judy.
The running theme of the day seemed to be men finding out if they were Fathers or not.
Sigh.
Each time the man owned up to his fatherhood and said he would "be there" for the child.
Oh yay!
I gathered that I was supposed to feel a sense of closure with the happy ending that the man would fulfill his duty as the dad and provide for the child. What a great guy. That is very commendable. Good for him. He is a true man.
Putting aside the fact that there are plenty of absentee fathers out there and this IS better than that alternative (assuming these men follow through on what they said in front of the cameras....they will soon find out saying you will be there is not the same as actually being there), I do not walk away from the at show feeling warm and fuzzy inside.
I'm pissed!
What have things come to that just "being there" is something worthy of accolades, cheers and the title of "Good Father?" Have we set the bar for fathers that low?
Fathers owe their children much more than just diapers and clothes and shelter. Just being there is a requisite. It is a must. We should expect it as a baseline. This doesn't make you a good father, it makes you a father period.
Let's relate it to sports. Showing up for the game doesn't make you a good player. It makes you a player. That's it. You may be better than others in the general population because you are there and on the team, but you are not necessarily a good player.
Trust me. I know. I show up to my softball games and I am not a good softball player. I can speak from experience.
To be a good player, you need to go above and beyond being there and take your game to the next level. You need to make minimal mistakes or fix the mistakes that are made. You make plays others cannot and do things others are not capable of doing.
So good fathers are ones that take fatherhood to the next level. We do things other men can't do. We make minimal mistakes and manage the mistakes we do make.
We use this analogy at my school (and I am sure others): our students need to be citizens not tourists. They need to be invested and committed to the classroom.
Likewise, fathers need to be citizens of our children's lives, not visiting tourists. We need to not just "be there" but be "part of there." Beyond buying stuff and showing up for big events, we need to be there for little things and provide a daily role model in the routine stuff as well as the big stuff or the financial stuff.
I don't measure my job as a dad based on the money I provide, the amount of time I spend with them or the amount of material goods I provide for my daughters. I measure it by that and the way I spend the time and the support I lend their mothers and the way I model my values for them. The love, compassion, emotion, discipline and routine we instill are critical elements of fatherhood that separate good fathers from fathers.
I'm not trying to blast all dads out there. I fully realize there are particular scenarios that make many of these elements difficult or impossible for fathers who sincerely mean to fulfill them. That doesn't make them bad fathers.
My point here is that we should set our bar for "Good Father" a bit higher than just showing up. We don't go out of our way to call mothers who just show up "Good Mothers." We take them for granted. We expect them to be there.
We should expect that as basic from our dads too.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Poser Christians and Radical Christians
I apologize ahead of time if I offend anyone with this post.
I cannot sit here and act like I am some sort of knowledgeable expert with Christianity. But I have been raised Christian and still consider myself Christian by default as I openly explore my personal spirituality. With 9 years of Catholic school and over 18 years of regularly attending church (often more than once a week), I feel like I have a legitimate amount experience to justify my opinion.
Many times I have openly questioned the Bible and Christianity. In my mind, I have felt like this has been part of my self-examination and personal exploration more than an attack on Christianity itself.
Where most of my frustration stems from is not so much the belief system, but many of the people that take part. There are two groups that annoy me the most. I call them Posers and Radical Bible Thumpers.
The Posers are like those fans that claim to be "die hard" or "true" when the team is winning and everybody loves them but are no where to be found when this team they claim to be fans of is losing or unpopular. They love to deck themselves out in the team's gear when everybody else is and they sport the jerseys of the most popular player like Grady Sizemore or LeBron James, but when the team stinks, all you hear is little dig after dig about how the team stinks, even if the team is just mediocre.
Some call them fair weather fans or bandwagon fans. I just call them annoying.
When this behavior is connected to the Church, I get just as annoyed. The Poser Christians love to loudly exclaim what they want to believe and throw the Bible out as their justification. They wear their Christianity on their sleeve and quickly slam people who critique it. Anyone who isn't Christian is wrong in their mind. They feel like everyone who questions the Church is hating the church.
But as they look down upon the rest of us, they never read the Bible themselves. They do not attend church. They definitely do not examine their beliefs and reflect on why they believe what they believe, which sometimes means challenging the traditional beliefs. They blindly follow what others tell them. Many times they refer to the Old Testament to support their outdated views while ignoring New Testament writings from Jesus (an important component of Christianity) that contradict the Old Testament.
The Radical Bible Thumpers do attend church regularly. They do read scriptures. They are devoted to their Christianity. So devoted that they go to the extreme. They may examine their beliefs but not in a critical manner. They take what they read and hear literally and are often, in my mind, misled. They are very rigid in their beliefs and refuse to see any other point of view or perspective, especially ones that counter what they want to believe. Like the posers they throw the Bible out as their shield.
Like radical Muslims, they are harmful. Their harm is more like the mental, emotional harm of a cult than the physical, violent harm of the stereotypical terrorism we are used to seeing and hearing about on television regarding the radical Muslims.
If you haven't read between the lines, I put a good bit of value on self-examination and reflection. I believe most Christians incorporate this practice in their worship. Prayer involves reflection and self-examination. It is an important component of Christianity. But many times prayer and reflection seem to be separated. These two groups lose sight of the importance of this intimate practice that truly connects you with God.
I do not believe practicing your religion is about following some rigid dogma as much as your relationship with your higher power. Questioning what your are told is part of this relationship. I believe it is an important and critical part of practicing your religion. By questioning and critiquing what is passed to you, you become part of this belief and you develop your own point of view. One that brings you closer to your higher power.
Whatever God you choose to believe in is much greater than anything we can fathom in our human experience. I highly doubt God concerns itself with whether you are following the rules set forth by the Pope or other religious leaders. It is more meaningful and practical for us to transcend this and use the different religions out there to seek the greater good.
Peter Rollins touches on this point of a God greater than our understanding in his book about the emerging Christianity entitled, "How (Not) To Speak of God:"
"If we fail to recognize that the term 'God' always falls short of that towards which the word is suppoed to point, we will end up bowing down before our own conceptual creations forged from the raw materials of our self-image, rather than bowing before the one who stands over and above that creation...'God rid me of God,' a prayer that acknowledges how the God we are in relationship with is bigger, better and different than our understanding of that God." (Rollins, "How (Not) to Speak of God" pg.19)
Fortunately, most Christians I know do this. It's the other two groups that Ia m skeptical about.
I cannot sit here and act like I am some sort of knowledgeable expert with Christianity. But I have been raised Christian and still consider myself Christian by default as I openly explore my personal spirituality. With 9 years of Catholic school and over 18 years of regularly attending church (often more than once a week), I feel like I have a legitimate amount experience to justify my opinion.
Many times I have openly questioned the Bible and Christianity. In my mind, I have felt like this has been part of my self-examination and personal exploration more than an attack on Christianity itself.
Where most of my frustration stems from is not so much the belief system, but many of the people that take part. There are two groups that annoy me the most. I call them Posers and Radical Bible Thumpers.
The Posers are like those fans that claim to be "die hard" or "true" when the team is winning and everybody loves them but are no where to be found when this team they claim to be fans of is losing or unpopular. They love to deck themselves out in the team's gear when everybody else is and they sport the jerseys of the most popular player like Grady Sizemore or LeBron James, but when the team stinks, all you hear is little dig after dig about how the team stinks, even if the team is just mediocre.
Some call them fair weather fans or bandwagon fans. I just call them annoying.
When this behavior is connected to the Church, I get just as annoyed. The Poser Christians love to loudly exclaim what they want to believe and throw the Bible out as their justification. They wear their Christianity on their sleeve and quickly slam people who critique it. Anyone who isn't Christian is wrong in their mind. They feel like everyone who questions the Church is hating the church.
But as they look down upon the rest of us, they never read the Bible themselves. They do not attend church. They definitely do not examine their beliefs and reflect on why they believe what they believe, which sometimes means challenging the traditional beliefs. They blindly follow what others tell them. Many times they refer to the Old Testament to support their outdated views while ignoring New Testament writings from Jesus (an important component of Christianity) that contradict the Old Testament.
The Radical Bible Thumpers do attend church regularly. They do read scriptures. They are devoted to their Christianity. So devoted that they go to the extreme. They may examine their beliefs but not in a critical manner. They take what they read and hear literally and are often, in my mind, misled. They are very rigid in their beliefs and refuse to see any other point of view or perspective, especially ones that counter what they want to believe. Like the posers they throw the Bible out as their shield.
Like radical Muslims, they are harmful. Their harm is more like the mental, emotional harm of a cult than the physical, violent harm of the stereotypical terrorism we are used to seeing and hearing about on television regarding the radical Muslims.
If you haven't read between the lines, I put a good bit of value on self-examination and reflection. I believe most Christians incorporate this practice in their worship. Prayer involves reflection and self-examination. It is an important component of Christianity. But many times prayer and reflection seem to be separated. These two groups lose sight of the importance of this intimate practice that truly connects you with God.
I do not believe practicing your religion is about following some rigid dogma as much as your relationship with your higher power. Questioning what your are told is part of this relationship. I believe it is an important and critical part of practicing your religion. By questioning and critiquing what is passed to you, you become part of this belief and you develop your own point of view. One that brings you closer to your higher power.
Whatever God you choose to believe in is much greater than anything we can fathom in our human experience. I highly doubt God concerns itself with whether you are following the rules set forth by the Pope or other religious leaders. It is more meaningful and practical for us to transcend this and use the different religions out there to seek the greater good.
Peter Rollins touches on this point of a God greater than our understanding in his book about the emerging Christianity entitled, "How (Not) To Speak of God:"
"If we fail to recognize that the term 'God' always falls short of that towards which the word is suppoed to point, we will end up bowing down before our own conceptual creations forged from the raw materials of our self-image, rather than bowing before the one who stands over and above that creation...'God rid me of God,' a prayer that acknowledges how the God we are in relationship with is bigger, better and different than our understanding of that God." (Rollins, "How (Not) to Speak of God" pg.19)
Fortunately, most Christians I know do this. It's the other two groups that Ia m skeptical about.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Honest Or Just Plain Rude?
I recently heard someone use this statement in response to someone objecting to something they said: "Well, if you don't like the answer then you shouldn't have asked the question!"
I have heard this statement several times in the past. It usually comes from loud mouths. More often than not, I hear people with little or no tact blurt out statements like this with a lack of concern of what other people think of them or their words.
First of all, if this guy knew what the answer was going to be, I don't think he would have asked it. The reason he asked was because he didn't know what the answer was in the first place. So how could he have stopped himself from asking it if he didn't know it would be something he didn't like?
It is a stupid statement. The lady came off as a rude, obnoxious blowhard in my opinion.
There is more to it than this though. I think the motivation behind statements like these is not always rudeness or disrespect. While I have not used this particular statement, I have used statements like it. I haven't intended on being rude most of the time, usually I have just tried to be frank and honest. So I imagine others who have said brash things like this had similar intentions. But sometimes efforts to be honest go too far.
Plus, I do not know what the whole context of that conversation was when that statement was said. For all I know the lady secretly felt bad that she received a disapproving reaction from the guy and tried to cover it with the shield of that statement. To her, it was his fault to react that way instead of her fault to answer his question that way.
But people like me put too much weight in what others think of us and what we say. Many times this is a bad thing because we lose sight of our needs and we don't protect our boundaries. We sacrifice too much for others when we don't need to.
But on the other side, there are people who have zero tact and lack consideration for others. It seems like more and more people fall in this category as the importance that was once put on manners and politeness is slowly disappearing. People take pride in their brash, no holds barred statements and attitude. It seems to be much more favorable to speak and act like this. But there is legitimate reason to be this way.
On one hand, we all should be polite and considerate towards others. But at the same time, we need to avoid going too far and compromising our own desires or intentions to be nice to someone else.
So where is that line between being honest with other people risking hurt feelings or feelings of disrespect and being rude and obnoxious showing little concern for another person's feelings?
I believe there is a way to assert you own interests and stand by what you want (within reason of course) without sounding rude or obnoxious. In fact there is a word for it. I used it earlier.
It is called tact.
Dictionary.com defines it as: "a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination."
I recommend more people use it. Just because you say things in a particular way, with class, it doesn't mean you are being too nonconfrontational, passive or weak. It means you are standing your ground while showing class.
I have heard this statement several times in the past. It usually comes from loud mouths. More often than not, I hear people with little or no tact blurt out statements like this with a lack of concern of what other people think of them or their words.
First of all, if this guy knew what the answer was going to be, I don't think he would have asked it. The reason he asked was because he didn't know what the answer was in the first place. So how could he have stopped himself from asking it if he didn't know it would be something he didn't like?
It is a stupid statement. The lady came off as a rude, obnoxious blowhard in my opinion.
There is more to it than this though. I think the motivation behind statements like these is not always rudeness or disrespect. While I have not used this particular statement, I have used statements like it. I haven't intended on being rude most of the time, usually I have just tried to be frank and honest. So I imagine others who have said brash things like this had similar intentions. But sometimes efforts to be honest go too far.
Plus, I do not know what the whole context of that conversation was when that statement was said. For all I know the lady secretly felt bad that she received a disapproving reaction from the guy and tried to cover it with the shield of that statement. To her, it was his fault to react that way instead of her fault to answer his question that way.
But people like me put too much weight in what others think of us and what we say. Many times this is a bad thing because we lose sight of our needs and we don't protect our boundaries. We sacrifice too much for others when we don't need to.
But on the other side, there are people who have zero tact and lack consideration for others. It seems like more and more people fall in this category as the importance that was once put on manners and politeness is slowly disappearing. People take pride in their brash, no holds barred statements and attitude. It seems to be much more favorable to speak and act like this. But there is legitimate reason to be this way.
On one hand, we all should be polite and considerate towards others. But at the same time, we need to avoid going too far and compromising our own desires or intentions to be nice to someone else.
So where is that line between being honest with other people risking hurt feelings or feelings of disrespect and being rude and obnoxious showing little concern for another person's feelings?
I believe there is a way to assert you own interests and stand by what you want (within reason of course) without sounding rude or obnoxious. In fact there is a word for it. I used it earlier.
It is called tact.
Dictionary.com defines it as: "a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination."
I recommend more people use it. Just because you say things in a particular way, with class, it doesn't mean you are being too nonconfrontational, passive or weak. It means you are standing your ground while showing class.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Tigger v. Eeyore
After witnessing another loss for my Cleveland Indians, I rode back to Columbus with a friend of mine and his friend. The conversation was pleasant and rather diverse. At one point my friend referenced Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon who became famous for his "Last Lecture." He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and took the opportunity before he died to write a book and speak to a number of audiences about fulfilling dreams.
My friend referenced him as part of our conversation about attitude and mood. He mentioned that Pausch often used analogies to describe his points. One analogy my friend brought up was whether somebody is a "Tigger" or "Eeyore." The Tiggers of the world are optimists and the Eeyores are pessimists. So what is your outlook on life?
When I arrived home, my wife and I found ourselves watching TLC and Micheal J. Fox's show discussing why optimists are optimists and pessimists are pessimists. He was searching to find out if there was a gene that made him optimistic. A "happy gene" is what he named it.
After reading "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield awhile back I have become more and more convinced that coincidences can have meaning if they don't have meaning already.
So since the meaning I am going to take from these two moments about outlook is going to be that I need to refocus my efforts to be more positive and optimistic, I am going to take a page out of the book of my wife and write another gratitude list. She believes it is good to tackle those moments in which you want to throw a pity party or when you feel like you are drowning in self-pity with gratitude lists.
I see so many people out there living lives much more difficult than mine. They demonstrate a strength I would not be able to maintain. I am very lucky and want to acknowledge it.
First, I am grateful my daughter's health has required me to do things I didn't think I would do. I question whether it has made me stronger or has exposed my weaknesses more often than not. But I know it has forced me to be more responsible than I was at any time prior to the discovery of her disorder. I do take pride in the way I have handled it overall despite minor mistakes along the way.
Secondly, I am grateful that I have handled my relationship with my oldest daughter's mother in a mature manner. It could have been easy to allow things to get ugly. But I promised myself (and my daughter even though she never understood) that I would truly keep my daughter's best interests first and ahead of mine. Instead of allowing my emotions to affect my decisions, I am grateful that I have stood by this goal significantly more often than not. I feel my daughter has been fortunate to grow up without her parents bickering or placing her in uncomfortable situations. I am grateful I have done this despite the fact that it has been difficult.
I am grateful I have managed to teach in an urban setting for 11 years. Burnout claims the best of us who teach in areas where the challenges greatly outnumber the perks. The stress is enormous and then people on the outside speak to you as though they know about our profession and belittle it. The same profession that drains every bit of energy and emotion from you is spoken about as though it is a cakewalk and we are weak for feeling the way we do. But I have managed to progress through more than a decade despite these seemingly insurmountable obstacles. My life span has probably decreased 11 years in the process but I can be proud of the mental and emotion strength and heart I must have to continue.
I am grateful I have a second child in this world. I dealt with a good bit of disappointment along the road to her birth. Everyday I wake up and go to bed worried that something will go wrong with her. I am grateful that I sit here writing this knowing the first two months have been very good. She is a beautiful blessing to behold.
I am grateful that I have a loving and supportive family that takes many of my shortcomings in stride. I am grateful that my father never allows my immaturity to ruin our relationship. Sometimes I treat him like a punching bag but he continues to show his own inner fortitude as he comes back for more every time.
I am grateful I have a job with a consistent paycheck and a house to live in. I have a computer with internet so I can play on Facebook, in my fantasy leagues or blog. I can afford to play in several softball leagues and meet with friends to watch games. I am grateful that someday I will be able to sell this house but right now I don't have to sell it. I am grateful that while I still have a good bit of debt in front of me, it is getting paid off.
There.
I took some major stresses in my life and instead of wallowing beneath them with my sorrow and self-pity, I spun them to positives.
The wife would be proud. Maybe I can be a Tigger this time.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Gay Marriage
There are so many things on our President's plate right now that the issue of Gay Marriage seems to be taking a backseat to it all. But this is one issue that can be settled fairly and in a relatively quick manner if people would just take their emotion and personal preference out and objectively settle it.
Here is how it can be done:
First, take a second to remind ourselves that this country was built partially on the idea of separation of church and state. Therefore, any references to homosexuality in the Bible are irrelevant. Government should take their hands out of the church's decision to allow or not allow gay marriage. Do not impose any restrictions on the church nor require the church to make any particular decision other than what they see fit according to their doctrines.
So for instance, if a Christian denomination decides they will not recognize gay marriages, fine. If another decides they will and they are within the rules set forth by their particular denomination, fine. The government should have zero say in that matter. Then the members of those churches can decide for themselves if they choose to continue to participate in that church or not.
Then, the government can stick to the civil union component of gay unions as opposed to marriages. Whether one thinks homosexuality is "sick" and "disgusting" or "loving" and "beautiful" is once again irrelevant. In terms of government decisions, we need to think clearly, objectively and fairly and for what is best for the people of the country as a whole.
By allowing rights for committed, gay couples that are currently reserved for heterosexual, married couples, these couples can take care of one another in the loving manner they deserve as much as the rest of us. They will be able to insure one another, support each other when sick or in the hospital, legally assist one another and more. None of these rights would be taken from those of us that already have them.
After this has been done, the issue and debate will soon go away. We will quickly see how little things have changed. Straight couples will still divorce 50% of the time. Our kids will still want to have sex with the opposite sex as much as before. Teenage prenancies and STDs will still be an issue to deal with. It will still be just as easy to get married even if you are drunk and in Vegas. Marriages will still take place at churches. Parents will still be expected to dish out thousands of dollars on a one day ceremony. The wedding industry will not lose any money.
Before you know it, conservatives and liberals will be screaming at each other about something else just as ridiculously easy to solve objectively.
This isn't abortion people. It isn't a complicated issue where nobody wins. This is two people in a relationship. My failed marriage had everything to do with my relationship with my ex and nothing to do with the multiple gay couples I know. My successful current marriage has nothing to with the numerous straight couples we know and everything to do with the hard work we put into this marriage everyday to make it so.
But it won't happen. Hate mongering sensationalists on the right will throw a fit if anything happens in this direction. They will stand behind the Bible while ignoring the fact that they preach and scream power and greed which are condemned infinitely more times than homosexuality by the very book they stand behind as validation.
Just let the church take care of the hate, and the government can at least try to find an objective, middle ground.
Then I am willing to bet it will all go away in due time.
Here is how it can be done:
First, take a second to remind ourselves that this country was built partially on the idea of separation of church and state. Therefore, any references to homosexuality in the Bible are irrelevant. Government should take their hands out of the church's decision to allow or not allow gay marriage. Do not impose any restrictions on the church nor require the church to make any particular decision other than what they see fit according to their doctrines.
So for instance, if a Christian denomination decides they will not recognize gay marriages, fine. If another decides they will and they are within the rules set forth by their particular denomination, fine. The government should have zero say in that matter. Then the members of those churches can decide for themselves if they choose to continue to participate in that church or not.
Then, the government can stick to the civil union component of gay unions as opposed to marriages. Whether one thinks homosexuality is "sick" and "disgusting" or "loving" and "beautiful" is once again irrelevant. In terms of government decisions, we need to think clearly, objectively and fairly and for what is best for the people of the country as a whole.
By allowing rights for committed, gay couples that are currently reserved for heterosexual, married couples, these couples can take care of one another in the loving manner they deserve as much as the rest of us. They will be able to insure one another, support each other when sick or in the hospital, legally assist one another and more. None of these rights would be taken from those of us that already have them.
After this has been done, the issue and debate will soon go away. We will quickly see how little things have changed. Straight couples will still divorce 50% of the time. Our kids will still want to have sex with the opposite sex as much as before. Teenage prenancies and STDs will still be an issue to deal with. It will still be just as easy to get married even if you are drunk and in Vegas. Marriages will still take place at churches. Parents will still be expected to dish out thousands of dollars on a one day ceremony. The wedding industry will not lose any money.
Before you know it, conservatives and liberals will be screaming at each other about something else just as ridiculously easy to solve objectively.
This isn't abortion people. It isn't a complicated issue where nobody wins. This is two people in a relationship. My failed marriage had everything to do with my relationship with my ex and nothing to do with the multiple gay couples I know. My successful current marriage has nothing to with the numerous straight couples we know and everything to do with the hard work we put into this marriage everyday to make it so.
But it won't happen. Hate mongering sensationalists on the right will throw a fit if anything happens in this direction. They will stand behind the Bible while ignoring the fact that they preach and scream power and greed which are condemned infinitely more times than homosexuality by the very book they stand behind as validation.
Just let the church take care of the hate, and the government can at least try to find an objective, middle ground.
Then I am willing to bet it will all go away in due time.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The One Block Rule: A Tribute To My Brother
Next week I will fly to Chicago to celebrate my brother's graduation from Kellogg, one of the most prestigious business schools in the U.S. It should be a great weekend for him and our family as we all share our pride with him and witness the finality of this accomplishment.
It is a well deserved honor for him. My brother is one of the most driven, hard working, intelligent people I know. You don't graduate from The Ohio State University with honors and then work in Sweden for two years only to follow up with two years in Evanston, earning an MBA with newborn twins to boot without having some drive and intelligence.
Of course, let's make sure credit is given where credit is due here. He married a very special woman who played an important role in all of this as well. She uprooted her life to move across the ocean and travel the world with him as a newlywed. She also carried the majority of the load with those boys while he was hard at work studying and working. As much as I respect and admire my brother, my sister-in-law deserves and has a great deal of respect, admiration and love from me as well.
I've watched my brother grow up from the day he was brought home from the hospital. We shared a room growing up and I have many memories wanting him out. I managed to convince him to move into the walk-in closet we had so I could have the whole room. Later, we put up a blanket in that same closet to divide it into our own personal, "private" spaces.
Despite these efforts, we spent a good bit of time together growing up. We shared a number of similar interests and friends. Only two years apart in age, we also attended high school and college at the same time.
When I left to attend Ohio State, he joined my Dad to help me move. I knew my roommate from high school and was aware that he wouldn't move in until the day after I did, so my brother even spent my first night in the dorm with me.
If this wasn't enough, when it was his turn to leave for college he chose Ohio State as well, following in my steps......or so I'd like to think. My brother more than made footsteps of his own.
After he and his roommate decided they were done living in the dorms after their freshman year, they moved in with me. All those years of trying to get away from one another and here we were choosing to live together. Granted, this time around we had our own rooms, but my point is still valid.
I have had first hand experience watching my brother bust his rear end studying and working and attaining high marks in school. I have witnessed how he interacted with people and situations. I saw his mistakes and accomplishments. I observed him grow up and mature and become who he is today.
The whole time I watched with awe. I was the older brother, but all too often I was learning from him. That has been hard to take sometimes. It is humbling to be the apprentice when you are traditionally supposed to be the master. But I would like to think that is more of a testament to him than a strike against me.
Long gone are the days of the "One Block Rule." I always reference this story because it is a perfect example of the changing of the guard that took place between us. There once was a day, believe it or not, that I would dominate our one-on-one basketball games in the driveway. This was about the time I hit my growth spurt and he still had a couple of years before he would hit his own.
My advantage in height allowed me to block so many of his shots that it became pointless for us to play. So we agreed to the "one block rule" that limited me to one block per game. This way he could get shots off and our games were much more competitive.
Today there is no need for that rule. He has surpassed me in athletic ability. I couldn't block his shot if my life depended on it. But the chemistry that developed from those hours in our driveway playing hotly contested basketball games, working the give and go to perfection versus our neighbors and creating football routes like P2 in the bushes in which no defender north of I-90 could stop, led to a relationship and a host of memories that I'll take over athletic superiority.
I also like to use this story to grab some credit in my brother's development and success. I would like to think that this rule ignited a fire in him that burns to this day. I'd like to think this need to beat his brother in basketball translated into other aspects of his life.
It may be stretch but I'll openly admit I am grasping for some of his coat tails.
I have a ton of respect for my brother. He and I have a good bit in common but we are very different in the way we approach and handle things.
While he continues to downplay this achievement, I and the rest of his family are excited to celebrate a major accomplishment in his life. He may be humble about it but I have no problem picking up the slack and bragging about my brother and his MBA from the Kellogg School Of Business at Northwestern University.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Not So High Aspirations
There is this song by Nickleback, a band I can't stand, that keeps getting played at seemingly every place I go. I finally gave in and listened to it. The lyrics repeatedly described the lifestyle of a "rock star" and I continuously heard how the singer supposedly thought we all want to be a rock star.
I'll admit there are days I have dreamed of living that life. Other times I have fantasized of being an athletic superstar, preferably on the football field. Finally, like everyone I have speculated about what I would do if I won the lottery and suddenly became rich.
So, as I heard this guy wax poetic about easy women, cheap drugs, the best bars, hanging out with movie stars (catch that rhyme there?), plenty of money and on and on, I thought to myself how in all honesty, that is NOT the life I'd be happiest living.
Of course I'd love to be popular. Rocking out on stage and feeling the power of the sound behind would be awesome. The party lifestyle would even be fun for awhile or until the hangovers and morning afters got old. The toys that come with all the riches of rock star status would be sweet too.
In the end though, my aspirations are much milder. For me, happiness is much more simple. True, I'd like a ton of money, but this more to pay of debt than anything else. I like the idea of having things to want.
This goes against many of the Buddhist principles I have been gleaming about of late, but I find enjoyment in having to browse through Best Buy to pick a CD or two because I can't just buy every one I want. There is a certain amount of pleasure I get out of this.
I don't want to be Tiger Woods or LeBron James and have everything I could possibly imagine. That would be boring.
But I really would like my debt paid off!
No, for me it is the simpler things that would make me happy.
I am perfectly satisfied with the opportunity to play softball a couple nights week. I would like to play basketball with my friends on a regular basis. Making it out to a ballgame from time to time is something I would appreciate. Watching my favorite teams play and win is important to me as well.
I enjoy coming home to hang out with my wife and kids. My daughter's laugh makes me happy. When she calls me "daddy" my heart rate increases in a good way. Taking a vacation to New England with my wife would be sweet. Having a comfortable house in a safe neighborhood near my friends and around sensible neighbors is pleasant. Grilling out on warm summer nights is always good.
Pulling a chair up to a bar and tossing back a couple cold ones with good friends is a happy occurrence for me. If a game is on at the same time, BONUS! If I'm tailgating before a game, that is even better!
Blogging away and knowing friends and family read with interest is appealing to me as well. Finding old friends and catching up with them on social networking sites brings a smile to my face.
I want trips to Dairy Queen to remain a treat. I'd hate to be "above" that.
There are plenty of other things I enjoy. I could probably work out some rhymes and catchy hooks and make a song out of these too.
But one thing is for sure, as much as those riches and parties and all that glory sounds enticing, the rest of that lifestyle wouldn't be worth it. I'd rather live the life I live now.
I'll admit there are days I have dreamed of living that life. Other times I have fantasized of being an athletic superstar, preferably on the football field. Finally, like everyone I have speculated about what I would do if I won the lottery and suddenly became rich.
So, as I heard this guy wax poetic about easy women, cheap drugs, the best bars, hanging out with movie stars (catch that rhyme there?), plenty of money and on and on, I thought to myself how in all honesty, that is NOT the life I'd be happiest living.
Of course I'd love to be popular. Rocking out on stage and feeling the power of the sound behind would be awesome. The party lifestyle would even be fun for awhile or until the hangovers and morning afters got old. The toys that come with all the riches of rock star status would be sweet too.
In the end though, my aspirations are much milder. For me, happiness is much more simple. True, I'd like a ton of money, but this more to pay of debt than anything else. I like the idea of having things to want.
This goes against many of the Buddhist principles I have been gleaming about of late, but I find enjoyment in having to browse through Best Buy to pick a CD or two because I can't just buy every one I want. There is a certain amount of pleasure I get out of this.
I don't want to be Tiger Woods or LeBron James and have everything I could possibly imagine. That would be boring.
But I really would like my debt paid off!
No, for me it is the simpler things that would make me happy.
I am perfectly satisfied with the opportunity to play softball a couple nights week. I would like to play basketball with my friends on a regular basis. Making it out to a ballgame from time to time is something I would appreciate. Watching my favorite teams play and win is important to me as well.
I enjoy coming home to hang out with my wife and kids. My daughter's laugh makes me happy. When she calls me "daddy" my heart rate increases in a good way. Taking a vacation to New England with my wife would be sweet. Having a comfortable house in a safe neighborhood near my friends and around sensible neighbors is pleasant. Grilling out on warm summer nights is always good.
Pulling a chair up to a bar and tossing back a couple cold ones with good friends is a happy occurrence for me. If a game is on at the same time, BONUS! If I'm tailgating before a game, that is even better!
Blogging away and knowing friends and family read with interest is appealing to me as well. Finding old friends and catching up with them on social networking sites brings a smile to my face.
I want trips to Dairy Queen to remain a treat. I'd hate to be "above" that.
There are plenty of other things I enjoy. I could probably work out some rhymes and catchy hooks and make a song out of these too.
But one thing is for sure, as much as those riches and parties and all that glory sounds enticing, the rest of that lifestyle wouldn't be worth it. I'd rather live the life I live now.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Mourning Mallory
It feels like my life has come to a point of closure. Recently, my wife and I experienced a difficult period that I have documented often in this blog. We lost a baby late in the pregnancy to triploidy. It is a freak chromosomal disorder that has always been fatal for the fetus.
We both have worked hard to grieve appropriately and deal with the emotional roller coaster that accompanies a loss such as this. Fortunately, this experience doesn't have any lasting physical problems so we have been able to continue our lives as planned.
We now approach the one year anniversary of the event. At this year mark we have a beautiful baby girl. We are celebrating this joyous experience with sleep deprivation and plenty of diaper changes and feedings. These events present their own challenges believe it or not, but each one is graciously welcomed.
So now I reflect on the past year with all that has happened and wonder to myself if I should put the loss to rest. But I don't want to let this go. I fear that moving on would distant myself from the memory of Mallory even though there was never really a physical memory. I recall the weeks following the loss and how determined I was to make sure we didn't sweep it under the rug. My gut was telling me that I needed to make a big deal about the loss.
I still question if that is appropriate. Plenty of couples lose babies. One thing I learned from the experience was that the number of babies that are lost is surprisingly high. A number of women lose numerous babies before they finally have a successful birth. I lost count of the women in our lives that came out of the woodwork and told us their own stories of lost babies.
They remained silent about these losses. If this is the case and many of them don't mourn their losses, does this mean I am blowing this out of proportion? Is my effort to remain so open about my experience a cry for attention? Am I making a big deal over nothing? Am I too sensitive? Is this something I should let go?
I'll be the first to admit I crave attention. Isn't this blog really an example of me crying out, "Look at me! Listen to me! Watch me!" I think everybody enjoys positive attention at some level whether or not they'll admit it openly or even to ourselves.
So is this a function of that craving?
I do know that in my private moments, I have been emotional over the loss. I really did carry the burden for awhile and throughout the successful pregnancy, I would revisit the memory of the loss in a fearful or saddened way. I didn't always publicize those moments. I would share them with my wife, but she was my partner in this experience.
My wife refers to our daughter as our "miracle baby" because of the loss. She feels it is time to put the loss behind us and has said it is OK to let go of the mourning.
I, on the other hand, still feel that ending the mourning would be one more step to forgetting Mallory. It is all I have of her. My brother and his wife are so generous and caring. They gave my wife and me two gifts. One for the new baby and one to remember Mallory. It meant the world to me. I felt like it gives me a tangible memory of Mallory and I could begin to let go without erasing her. But here I am still wanting to hold on to the sadness. I'm still afraid that letting go would erase Mallory.
Another thought I had was to tattoo her name somewhere hidden on myself. I would then have a tangible way to keep her with me forever. But this would make a hypocrite out of me since I have major issues with the trendy tattoo thing that has risen over the last decade or so. Also, if I did this, I feel I would need to add my two living children and then I would be approaching NBA player level. Wait. No, until I have body ink crawling up my neck and down my arms, I'll be OK.
Maybe my newborn is my closure. She may represent what Mallory would be. Maybe she represents what Mallory is. But I do not want to put that on her. I don't want my youngest daughter to live her life carrying the memory of someone else. I want her to be her own unique person to me. I recall a good friend of mine whose twin was lost at birth. We have discussed this subject manner in the past and his opinion would be worth hearing. I am curious if he feels like he was carrying the memory of his brother throughout his life and if that was a positive or negative thing.
This is a joyous time in my life. I have had numerous setbacks over the past several years and it feels like I am beginning to climb my way back to the surface. This is a time I should be celebrating all the joy, not dragging out the pain. I just can't leave this behind me.
Life is not about the destination but the journey right?
So cliche!
We both have worked hard to grieve appropriately and deal with the emotional roller coaster that accompanies a loss such as this. Fortunately, this experience doesn't have any lasting physical problems so we have been able to continue our lives as planned.
We now approach the one year anniversary of the event. At this year mark we have a beautiful baby girl. We are celebrating this joyous experience with sleep deprivation and plenty of diaper changes and feedings. These events present their own challenges believe it or not, but each one is graciously welcomed.
So now I reflect on the past year with all that has happened and wonder to myself if I should put the loss to rest. But I don't want to let this go. I fear that moving on would distant myself from the memory of Mallory even though there was never really a physical memory. I recall the weeks following the loss and how determined I was to make sure we didn't sweep it under the rug. My gut was telling me that I needed to make a big deal about the loss.
I still question if that is appropriate. Plenty of couples lose babies. One thing I learned from the experience was that the number of babies that are lost is surprisingly high. A number of women lose numerous babies before they finally have a successful birth. I lost count of the women in our lives that came out of the woodwork and told us their own stories of lost babies.
They remained silent about these losses. If this is the case and many of them don't mourn their losses, does this mean I am blowing this out of proportion? Is my effort to remain so open about my experience a cry for attention? Am I making a big deal over nothing? Am I too sensitive? Is this something I should let go?
I'll be the first to admit I crave attention. Isn't this blog really an example of me crying out, "Look at me! Listen to me! Watch me!" I think everybody enjoys positive attention at some level whether or not they'll admit it openly or even to ourselves.
So is this a function of that craving?
I do know that in my private moments, I have been emotional over the loss. I really did carry the burden for awhile and throughout the successful pregnancy, I would revisit the memory of the loss in a fearful or saddened way. I didn't always publicize those moments. I would share them with my wife, but she was my partner in this experience.
My wife refers to our daughter as our "miracle baby" because of the loss. She feels it is time to put the loss behind us and has said it is OK to let go of the mourning.
I, on the other hand, still feel that ending the mourning would be one more step to forgetting Mallory. It is all I have of her. My brother and his wife are so generous and caring. They gave my wife and me two gifts. One for the new baby and one to remember Mallory. It meant the world to me. I felt like it gives me a tangible memory of Mallory and I could begin to let go without erasing her. But here I am still wanting to hold on to the sadness. I'm still afraid that letting go would erase Mallory.
Another thought I had was to tattoo her name somewhere hidden on myself. I would then have a tangible way to keep her with me forever. But this would make a hypocrite out of me since I have major issues with the trendy tattoo thing that has risen over the last decade or so. Also, if I did this, I feel I would need to add my two living children and then I would be approaching NBA player level. Wait. No, until I have body ink crawling up my neck and down my arms, I'll be OK.
Maybe my newborn is my closure. She may represent what Mallory would be. Maybe she represents what Mallory is. But I do not want to put that on her. I don't want my youngest daughter to live her life carrying the memory of someone else. I want her to be her own unique person to me. I recall a good friend of mine whose twin was lost at birth. We have discussed this subject manner in the past and his opinion would be worth hearing. I am curious if he feels like he was carrying the memory of his brother throughout his life and if that was a positive or negative thing.
This is a joyous time in my life. I have had numerous setbacks over the past several years and it feels like I am beginning to climb my way back to the surface. This is a time I should be celebrating all the joy, not dragging out the pain. I just can't leave this behind me.
Life is not about the destination but the journey right?
So cliche!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Reflections On God And Control
I had a thought about the origin of God cross my mind the other day. I texted this thought to a number of people and received a number of interesting reflections.
My thought was that God is just a manifestation of humans' need for control. By control I mean the ability to influence events to achieve a preferred outcome as well as the ability to know the unknown.
Lack of control is a scary thing. There are a number of things that are out of our control including our mortality and the behavior of other people. This lack of control also involves the unknown. When something is unknown to you, in essence you don't have control of it.
The human experience has a vast number of things we cannot control or do not know. As we have evolved, we have learned a good bit and some of the unknown has become known like the microbiology and astronomy and so on. But we still can't control our mortality. As hard as we try to control other people, and in some cases, are able to get people to behave in a preferred manner, in the end it is their brain that dictates what they do.
So we create this deity called God.
This God is represents this control. Through the existence of God, we can feel like we have some sort of control over our mortality. We can do good while alive and enter a place called heaven. Death becomes much less scary inevitable.
Many times I will hear people talk about their lack of control. They will say that they can't control other people or the outcome of certain things. So they will give it to the universe. Or they will try to let it go and avoid wasting time worrying about it. Finally, many say they will turn it over to God. Because, as I said, God can control it and will take care of it.
We can also use God and the idea of heaven and its counterpart, hell, to influence others' actions. Those people out there that may do harmful things to us or the ones we love can be swayed otherwise by the deterrent that if they do, they will suffer eternal damnation. It helps our grieving and pain to feel like someone who does us wrong will pay the consequences for it.
The concept of God goes much, much deeper than this. The various religions have created these intricate frameworks from which to experience God and these frameworks explain away countless other detailed "unknowns" that exist beyond death and ethics.
My text message never got this in depth. But four people who responded did. There were a number of interesting points they made.
The first point from my mom was that God represented a parent-like figure for her. Obviously, not everybody has had the same experience with their parental figures. So what this means for one may mean something different for another. Traditionally speaking though, parents are though of as warm, loving caregivers who offer guidance.
This is a warm, fuzzy way to look at God. But at the same time, it doesn't disprove my points. Of course, I don't think my mom was trying to disprove it in the first place.
God as a parent actually fits my point exactly. As a young child, your parent(s) perfectly represent this idea of offering control and answers to the unknown. You enter the world knowing little more than how to poop, pee, breathe and swallow. You have zero control. You quickly learn you can cry to get fed or cleaned. But this whole time, its the parents that are getting the food to you. So you look to them to provide this control.
As you grow and become more and more independent, you rely on your parents less and less. But throughout your childhood, it is your parents that have this control you are unable to have and provide that safety and security that God does for us as humans in general.
Another point my friend and I got into was the irony that this creation of God makes us more powerful than God who is supposed to be more powerful than us. The point of its creation was to have the power to control something we are powerless to control. From a Christian standpoint, the idea that we are equal to or more powerful than God is blasphemous. It is also contradicting in a way.
This led to some thoughts on faith and how faith is critical to the numerous religions that exist. Without faith, there is little reason to follow a particular religion or any way of thinking for that matter. It is crucial to blindly believe or have faith that there is a all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God out there that is above all of this and able to exist and "control" everything in a manner that is in our best interests.
The thoughts on faith were echoed by another friend who referenced a book he was reading that was related to this subject. Our texts reminded me of observations I have made that many times when I notice people who are blindly following the Bible and proclaiming their faith in it, they are usually of a lower education. At the same time, when I notice people who are atheist or agnostic (assuming I use that term correctly), they are of a higher education.
Obviously, these observations are generalizations. I am NOT trying to say educated people are atheist or atheists are automatically highly educated. Nor am I trying to say that if you have faith, you are not highly educated. I can provide numerous examples of extremely intelligent people who have faith in God. But this observation still exists.
The Bible has been used for centuries to prey on the unknowns of people. It has been a tool of control as it supposedly has offered answers to these unknowns and control for the uncontrollable. It has been used to control human behavior as well. But faith is a requirement. Without it, the church doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Before I begin to follow a tangent taking me away from the point of this post, I'll end it with this:
I enjoy this kind of analyzing. This is not some kind of attack on religion or God. I am continuing to seek out my place in all of this. Reflections like this make me think. While I plan to continue thinking like this, I really do want to find some framework to stick to. But I want it to genuinely from my heart and not just my brain. Christianity is not the answer for me, but it is NOT because I think it is wrong, evil or negative. Any negative overtones I present are usually directed to the people who transmit it or practice it in a way I disagree with not the theology itself.
My thought was that God is just a manifestation of humans' need for control. By control I mean the ability to influence events to achieve a preferred outcome as well as the ability to know the unknown.
Lack of control is a scary thing. There are a number of things that are out of our control including our mortality and the behavior of other people. This lack of control also involves the unknown. When something is unknown to you, in essence you don't have control of it.
The human experience has a vast number of things we cannot control or do not know. As we have evolved, we have learned a good bit and some of the unknown has become known like the microbiology and astronomy and so on. But we still can't control our mortality. As hard as we try to control other people, and in some cases, are able to get people to behave in a preferred manner, in the end it is their brain that dictates what they do.
So we create this deity called God.
This God is represents this control. Through the existence of God, we can feel like we have some sort of control over our mortality. We can do good while alive and enter a place called heaven. Death becomes much less scary inevitable.
Many times I will hear people talk about their lack of control. They will say that they can't control other people or the outcome of certain things. So they will give it to the universe. Or they will try to let it go and avoid wasting time worrying about it. Finally, many say they will turn it over to God. Because, as I said, God can control it and will take care of it.
We can also use God and the idea of heaven and its counterpart, hell, to influence others' actions. Those people out there that may do harmful things to us or the ones we love can be swayed otherwise by the deterrent that if they do, they will suffer eternal damnation. It helps our grieving and pain to feel like someone who does us wrong will pay the consequences for it.
The concept of God goes much, much deeper than this. The various religions have created these intricate frameworks from which to experience God and these frameworks explain away countless other detailed "unknowns" that exist beyond death and ethics.
My text message never got this in depth. But four people who responded did. There were a number of interesting points they made.
The first point from my mom was that God represented a parent-like figure for her. Obviously, not everybody has had the same experience with their parental figures. So what this means for one may mean something different for another. Traditionally speaking though, parents are though of as warm, loving caregivers who offer guidance.
This is a warm, fuzzy way to look at God. But at the same time, it doesn't disprove my points. Of course, I don't think my mom was trying to disprove it in the first place.
God as a parent actually fits my point exactly. As a young child, your parent(s) perfectly represent this idea of offering control and answers to the unknown. You enter the world knowing little more than how to poop, pee, breathe and swallow. You have zero control. You quickly learn you can cry to get fed or cleaned. But this whole time, its the parents that are getting the food to you. So you look to them to provide this control.
As you grow and become more and more independent, you rely on your parents less and less. But throughout your childhood, it is your parents that have this control you are unable to have and provide that safety and security that God does for us as humans in general.
Another point my friend and I got into was the irony that this creation of God makes us more powerful than God who is supposed to be more powerful than us. The point of its creation was to have the power to control something we are powerless to control. From a Christian standpoint, the idea that we are equal to or more powerful than God is blasphemous. It is also contradicting in a way.
This led to some thoughts on faith and how faith is critical to the numerous religions that exist. Without faith, there is little reason to follow a particular religion or any way of thinking for that matter. It is crucial to blindly believe or have faith that there is a all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God out there that is above all of this and able to exist and "control" everything in a manner that is in our best interests.
The thoughts on faith were echoed by another friend who referenced a book he was reading that was related to this subject. Our texts reminded me of observations I have made that many times when I notice people who are blindly following the Bible and proclaiming their faith in it, they are usually of a lower education. At the same time, when I notice people who are atheist or agnostic (assuming I use that term correctly), they are of a higher education.
Obviously, these observations are generalizations. I am NOT trying to say educated people are atheist or atheists are automatically highly educated. Nor am I trying to say that if you have faith, you are not highly educated. I can provide numerous examples of extremely intelligent people who have faith in God. But this observation still exists.
The Bible has been used for centuries to prey on the unknowns of people. It has been a tool of control as it supposedly has offered answers to these unknowns and control for the uncontrollable. It has been used to control human behavior as well. But faith is a requirement. Without it, the church doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Before I begin to follow a tangent taking me away from the point of this post, I'll end it with this:
I enjoy this kind of analyzing. This is not some kind of attack on religion or God. I am continuing to seek out my place in all of this. Reflections like this make me think. While I plan to continue thinking like this, I really do want to find some framework to stick to. But I want it to genuinely from my heart and not just my brain. Christianity is not the answer for me, but it is NOT because I think it is wrong, evil or negative. Any negative overtones I present are usually directed to the people who transmit it or practice it in a way I disagree with not the theology itself.
Friday, May 8, 2009
No Excuses
I often hear members of the Cleveland Cavaliers say they are a "no excuse team." This means that they will not come up with some reason why they lose a game or make mistakes other than the fact that they were outplayed or did not get the job done.
It is refreshing to see and hear this. Instead of passing the buck or blaming someone or something else, these players and coaches answer to a self-accountable agenda and own their mistakes in an era and culture that does the opposite.
This is where my sports reference stops.
Whether it is in my classroom or in the general public, I consistently hear people avoid any kind of ownership in their own actions. Mistakes are inevitably followed by what somebody else did or some other factor that led to their mistake.
I have heard it a million times. "I didn't make the team because the coach is a jerk." "It's all politics. I'm as good as anybody on that team." "The refs had it out for us. You can't beat your opponent AND the refs."
"He was talking too. Why are you mad at me?" "He hit me first." "She was talking about my mama!" "You always pick on me." All of this as they watch me watching them doing something wrong.
I have heard people who can't keep jobs (or drag their feet looking for a jobs) explain every time that it was their boss' fault or a problem with the business itself or the people they worked with at the place of employment. Never do they admit that they didn't perform the way that was required.
I am a culprit as well. This is not an attempt to point my finger at anybody in particular or to ignore my share in this tendency. At some point, we need to toughen up and admit our mistakes and focus on fixing them or moving on from them.
Personally, I have consciously made an effort to avoid this type of behavior. But these attempts are just looked at as pessimism or negative thinking. Sometimes, people make comments that I am too hard on myself.
It is a difficult line to walk. Balancing between self-accountability and pessimism is not easy.
This past week I made two bad throws during double play attempts. It wasn't the runner coming at me, it wasn't the sun, it wasn't a bad throw from my teammate, it was purely, 100% my inability to make that throw well enough.
When I get upset with myself and later make a comment that I can't make that throw, I come off as pessimistic.
I understand my personal issue here. I generally make numerous negative comments about things before they happen. I also go overboard in my negative talk and overtones. So I am seen as a pessimistic person. The Huey Karma is a perfect example.
I'll own this.
In my case, I need to better balance the accountability and pessimism by forcing myself to be more positive in general.
But people in general need to quit coming up with excuses. Call it what it is. If you are lazy, you are lazy. If you don't like it....change it. If you don't want to change it, then realize you are what you are and quit coming up with excuses about why you are that way. The reason is that you have chosen to be that way.
I am pessimistic. I am trying to be more positive. No excuses. That is what I am. Hopefully, I won't be in the future.
Man up and deal with your shortcomings in honest way. Nobody expects you to be perfect and if they do, that is their problem not yours.
It is refreshing to see and hear this. Instead of passing the buck or blaming someone or something else, these players and coaches answer to a self-accountable agenda and own their mistakes in an era and culture that does the opposite.
This is where my sports reference stops.
Whether it is in my classroom or in the general public, I consistently hear people avoid any kind of ownership in their own actions. Mistakes are inevitably followed by what somebody else did or some other factor that led to their mistake.
I have heard it a million times. "I didn't make the team because the coach is a jerk." "It's all politics. I'm as good as anybody on that team." "The refs had it out for us. You can't beat your opponent AND the refs."
"He was talking too. Why are you mad at me?" "He hit me first." "She was talking about my mama!" "You always pick on me." All of this as they watch me watching them doing something wrong.
I have heard people who can't keep jobs (or drag their feet looking for a jobs) explain every time that it was their boss' fault or a problem with the business itself or the people they worked with at the place of employment. Never do they admit that they didn't perform the way that was required.
I am a culprit as well. This is not an attempt to point my finger at anybody in particular or to ignore my share in this tendency. At some point, we need to toughen up and admit our mistakes and focus on fixing them or moving on from them.
Personally, I have consciously made an effort to avoid this type of behavior. But these attempts are just looked at as pessimism or negative thinking. Sometimes, people make comments that I am too hard on myself.
It is a difficult line to walk. Balancing between self-accountability and pessimism is not easy.
This past week I made two bad throws during double play attempts. It wasn't the runner coming at me, it wasn't the sun, it wasn't a bad throw from my teammate, it was purely, 100% my inability to make that throw well enough.
When I get upset with myself and later make a comment that I can't make that throw, I come off as pessimistic.
I understand my personal issue here. I generally make numerous negative comments about things before they happen. I also go overboard in my negative talk and overtones. So I am seen as a pessimistic person. The Huey Karma is a perfect example.
I'll own this.
In my case, I need to better balance the accountability and pessimism by forcing myself to be more positive in general.
But people in general need to quit coming up with excuses. Call it what it is. If you are lazy, you are lazy. If you don't like it....change it. If you don't want to change it, then realize you are what you are and quit coming up with excuses about why you are that way. The reason is that you have chosen to be that way.
I am pessimistic. I am trying to be more positive. No excuses. That is what I am. Hopefully, I won't be in the future.
Man up and deal with your shortcomings in honest way. Nobody expects you to be perfect and if they do, that is their problem not yours.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Failed School Levies Will Have A Negative Impact On My Family AND YOU!
Fortunately, it looks like a number of school levies in central Ohio did pass yesterday in the May elections. But the two levies my family was affected by failed.
Individually, I am not affected by either of the levies because I do not teach in either district. But my wife does and my daughter will most likely attend a school in the other district next year.
With two teachers in my household, we obviously have a biased view on this topic but I still believe I would be pro-schools had I chosen a different profession. I was raised by two parents who always supported public schools despite the fact that my siblings and I attended Catholic Schools for much of our early years. I also understand the importance of strong schools in a capitalistic society.
There are a number of specific reasons I pledge my support to public schools beyond the well being of my job. As a citizen of this area, I am counting on the youth to grow and learn and become productive citizens contributing to my well being. We all need each other to perform our jobs well whether it is digging a ditch, working on our roads, running our government, developing new technologies, taking care of our children, running our businesses and so on.
I also prefer that the youth is not out causing problems or committing crimes. In fact, even grown adults will commit less crime if they are more educated. Less crime means a better overall well being for me and my family. It means a safer place to live and usually, a cleaner place to live.
Generally speaking, I think we should support sports and unified arts in school. These outlets and opportunities provide children with talent in these area a chance to foster these talents and grow and become contributing citizens. Without them, they most likely struggle in the traditional classes and become frustrated, disenchanted and more likely to become a burden on their fellow citizens instead of a contributor.
In my specific case, I have a daughter who is cognitively impaired and needs as much intervention as she can get. Her mother, stepmother and I intervene as much as we can but we need the schools to contribute. Her significant advancements this school year are a direct result to the number of specialists and assistants that work in her room with her teacher. Her small class size allows her teacher to give her more individualized attention. All these things have helped her tremendously and they cost money. These services are high on the list of services to be cut when levies don't pass.
Imagine children who are in more need than my daughter. Not every child with cognitive impairments has three teachers in their life. Some don't even have two parents who care that much. If they fall through the cracks, it means more money from us later to jail them or keep them in a mental institution like they did before special education and MRDD were created to help.
That is not a kind of life I want my daughter to live or anyone for that matter. We have moved away from that for a reason.
I am willing to pay to intervene early through the schools.
Times are tough. People do not have the money to pay even more taxes. It seems like we have "bailed out" every industry that exists and it is frustrating that things only seem to get worse.
My point is that education should be a top priority on the list regardless of whether we have kids in the school system or not. We are all affected by it. The good of our country and society depends on it. We will not be able to brag about how great our country is if we can't compete with the China's and Europe's of the world. We need smart people to deal with diplomacy and figure out new ways to fix the economy and new energy and a way to release from our dependency on oil and fossil fuels.
Everybody loves to blame schools, but when it comes time to help, they refuse to help. It is not fair to complain and then do nothing about it. Either vote for levies so you have a right to complain, or shut up!
Individually, I am not affected by either of the levies because I do not teach in either district. But my wife does and my daughter will most likely attend a school in the other district next year.
With two teachers in my household, we obviously have a biased view on this topic but I still believe I would be pro-schools had I chosen a different profession. I was raised by two parents who always supported public schools despite the fact that my siblings and I attended Catholic Schools for much of our early years. I also understand the importance of strong schools in a capitalistic society.
There are a number of specific reasons I pledge my support to public schools beyond the well being of my job. As a citizen of this area, I am counting on the youth to grow and learn and become productive citizens contributing to my well being. We all need each other to perform our jobs well whether it is digging a ditch, working on our roads, running our government, developing new technologies, taking care of our children, running our businesses and so on.
I also prefer that the youth is not out causing problems or committing crimes. In fact, even grown adults will commit less crime if they are more educated. Less crime means a better overall well being for me and my family. It means a safer place to live and usually, a cleaner place to live.
Generally speaking, I think we should support sports and unified arts in school. These outlets and opportunities provide children with talent in these area a chance to foster these talents and grow and become contributing citizens. Without them, they most likely struggle in the traditional classes and become frustrated, disenchanted and more likely to become a burden on their fellow citizens instead of a contributor.
In my specific case, I have a daughter who is cognitively impaired and needs as much intervention as she can get. Her mother, stepmother and I intervene as much as we can but we need the schools to contribute. Her significant advancements this school year are a direct result to the number of specialists and assistants that work in her room with her teacher. Her small class size allows her teacher to give her more individualized attention. All these things have helped her tremendously and they cost money. These services are high on the list of services to be cut when levies don't pass.
Imagine children who are in more need than my daughter. Not every child with cognitive impairments has three teachers in their life. Some don't even have two parents who care that much. If they fall through the cracks, it means more money from us later to jail them or keep them in a mental institution like they did before special education and MRDD were created to help.
That is not a kind of life I want my daughter to live or anyone for that matter. We have moved away from that for a reason.
I am willing to pay to intervene early through the schools.
Times are tough. People do not have the money to pay even more taxes. It seems like we have "bailed out" every industry that exists and it is frustrating that things only seem to get worse.
My point is that education should be a top priority on the list regardless of whether we have kids in the school system or not. We are all affected by it. The good of our country and society depends on it. We will not be able to brag about how great our country is if we can't compete with the China's and Europe's of the world. We need smart people to deal with diplomacy and figure out new ways to fix the economy and new energy and a way to release from our dependency on oil and fossil fuels.
Everybody loves to blame schools, but when it comes time to help, they refuse to help. It is not fair to complain and then do nothing about it. Either vote for levies so you have a right to complain, or shut up!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Living Funeral
Isn't it depressing that a funeral attracts so many people that love and care about the deceased but the deceased isn't there to enjoy their company?
Wouldn't it be nice to have all of those people together at one time while you are alive to enjoy their company?
As I thought about this, I wondered why we don't have more formal or traditional celebrations to invite every one of our loved ones and friends?
There are events when this happens like weddings, graduations and birthdays. But even during these events, the attention is on the specific reason for the event. In my case, the only reason would be time with people you care about and who care about you.
I guess it would be rather narcissistic and egocentric. It is difficult to find time and many friends have busy enough schedules that they couldn't break away just for some celebration for the sake of celebration.
But what if we, as a culture, made it a point to make celebrations like this acceptable. If everybody understood that these were to bring people together before they died and enjoy the relationships and the love and care within these relationships regardless of how serious or close the relationship is, then maybe it wouldn't seem too vain. Despite the fact that the party centers around one person, the fact that it is to share in the energy we all give each other, it would be seen as something more than a selfish excuse for attention.
Even though someone may coordinate the celebration around their numerous circles of friends, many circles overlap. Friends would have other friends there. Therefore, being invited is beneficial to the invited as well as the inviting because they are sharing in this positive energy created by the celebration.
The format wouldn't need to mimic that of a funeral. It could be anything the inviting person wants it to be according to their preferences. I keep envisioning a wedding reception type of deal. Food, music, spirits, dancing, lots of pictures and some speeches or something. I also picture some sort of sports game playing on the screen in the background, maybe some arcade type games going on or other forms of entertainment.
Why wait for your death to pay respects? Why not enjoy the thoughts and concern or care of your friends and loved ones while you are alive?
Wouldn't it be nice to have all of those people together at one time while you are alive to enjoy their company?
As I thought about this, I wondered why we don't have more formal or traditional celebrations to invite every one of our loved ones and friends?
There are events when this happens like weddings, graduations and birthdays. But even during these events, the attention is on the specific reason for the event. In my case, the only reason would be time with people you care about and who care about you.
I guess it would be rather narcissistic and egocentric. It is difficult to find time and many friends have busy enough schedules that they couldn't break away just for some celebration for the sake of celebration.
But what if we, as a culture, made it a point to make celebrations like this acceptable. If everybody understood that these were to bring people together before they died and enjoy the relationships and the love and care within these relationships regardless of how serious or close the relationship is, then maybe it wouldn't seem too vain. Despite the fact that the party centers around one person, the fact that it is to share in the energy we all give each other, it would be seen as something more than a selfish excuse for attention.
Even though someone may coordinate the celebration around their numerous circles of friends, many circles overlap. Friends would have other friends there. Therefore, being invited is beneficial to the invited as well as the inviting because they are sharing in this positive energy created by the celebration.
The format wouldn't need to mimic that of a funeral. It could be anything the inviting person wants it to be according to their preferences. I keep envisioning a wedding reception type of deal. Food, music, spirits, dancing, lots of pictures and some speeches or something. I also picture some sort of sports game playing on the screen in the background, maybe some arcade type games going on or other forms of entertainment.
Why wait for your death to pay respects? Why not enjoy the thoughts and concern or care of your friends and loved ones while you are alive?
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Huey's Mixed Tape Tour
Ever since middle school I have loved to make musical mixes. It started by taping songs off the radio and has progressed to CDs and now MP3s.
I loved making different themed mixes for different events or reasons.
I thought I would have some fun and make some lists of mixes I could or would make from my collection of music if I had the time.
Angry Mix
I am not fighter, nor do I want to be one. But I do get mad and sometimes music can be an outlet.
Lunchbox-Marilyn Manson
History's Strangler's-The Bronx
Let The Planet's Burn-Hanzel Und Gretyl
Right Now-Korn
Last-Nine Inch Nails
Bad Habit-The Offspring
Du Hast-Rammstein
Drivel-The Union Underground
Celebration Mix
My team just won. My daughter accomplished something or I just realized how happy she makes me. I am having a great day. My debt is paid off. Anything worth celebrating.
Glorious Day-Weezer
Happy Together-The Turtles
Have a Nice Day-Stereophonics
Song #2-Blur
Another One Bites The Dust-Queen
Feelin' Alright-Len
Don't Stop Believin'-Journey
I Can See Clearly Now-Jimmy Cliff
One More Time-Daft Punk
Groove is in the Heart-Dee-Lite
Dance Mix
For some reason, maybe the one above, I feel like dancing around in circles or
straight lines or whatever directions feels right.
In The Clouds-Under the Influence of Giants
Dance the Night Away-Van Halen
Shut Up and Let Me Go-The Ting Tings
Come On Come On-Smashmouth
Le Disko-Shiny Toy Guns
Shove It-Santogold
Car Wash-Rose Royce
Time Bomb-Rancid
The Whole World-Outkast
Final Chapter-Mike Macaluso
Sandstorm-Darude
We Like To Party-Venga Boys
Flagpole Sitta-Harvery Danger
DARE-Gorillaz
Jerk It Out-Caesars
Magic-The Cars
Love Mix
My wife.
All I Want is You-U2
One-U2
Next To You-Tim Easton
Still Remains-Stone Temple Pilots.
Cherish-Kool & The Gang
Dakota-Stereophonics
You Are So Beautiful-Joe Cocker
The Air I Breathe-The Hollies
Chillaxin' Mix
Just looking to relax and unwind.
Can I Kick It?-A Tribe Called Quest
Summertime-DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
Don't Let Go-Weezer
Red Hill Mining Town-U2
The Late Greats-Wilco
Doin' Time-Sublime
Tha Shiznit-Snoop Dogg
6 Underground-Sneaker Pimps
The Boxer-Simon and Garfunkel
You're a Wolf-Sea Wolf
L.E.S. Artistes-Santogold
Passin' Me By-Pharcyde
Summer Babe-Pavement
Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress-The Hollies
Clint Eastwood-Gorillaz
I Can't Get With That-Fun Lovin' Criminals
Cardio Mix
Pump me up for a game or exercise.
Eye of the Tiger-Survivor
The Final Countdown-Europe
Wicked Garden-Stone Temple Pilots
Ladies and Gentlemen-Saliva
Engel-Rammstein
Here It Goes-OK Go
The Noose-The Offspring
Breakin'-The Music
Knights of Cydonia-Muse
Move-Moby
Just One Fix-Ministry
True Nature-Jane's Addiction
Right Here Right Now-Fat Boy Slim
Lose Yourself-Eminem
Galvanize-The Chemical Brothers
Knifeman-The Bronx
Glory Days-Bruce Springstein
Centerfield-John Fogerty
Thunderstruck-AC/DC
Sing Out Loud Mix
The songs I have to fight to keep from belting out for the world to hear.
Sweet Caroline-Neil Diamond
Free Fallin'-Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
California Dreamin-Mamas and Papas
One-U2
My Way-Frank Sinatra
Solitary Man-Neil Diamond
I Can't Smile Without You-Barry Manilow
Paradise City-Guns 'n Roses
I Can't Help Myself-The Four Tops
I loved making different themed mixes for different events or reasons.
I thought I would have some fun and make some lists of mixes I could or would make from my collection of music if I had the time.
Angry Mix
I am not fighter, nor do I want to be one. But I do get mad and sometimes music can be an outlet.
Lunchbox-Marilyn Manson
History's Strangler's-The Bronx
Let The Planet's Burn-Hanzel Und Gretyl
Right Now-Korn
Last-Nine Inch Nails
Bad Habit-The Offspring
Du Hast-Rammstein
Drivel-The Union Underground
Celebration Mix
My team just won. My daughter accomplished something or I just realized how happy she makes me. I am having a great day. My debt is paid off. Anything worth celebrating.
Glorious Day-Weezer
Happy Together-The Turtles
Have a Nice Day-Stereophonics
Song #2-Blur
Another One Bites The Dust-Queen
Feelin' Alright-Len
Don't Stop Believin'-Journey
I Can See Clearly Now-Jimmy Cliff
One More Time-Daft Punk
Groove is in the Heart-Dee-Lite
Dance Mix
For some reason, maybe the one above, I feel like dancing around in circles or
straight lines or whatever directions feels right.
In The Clouds-Under the Influence of Giants
Dance the Night Away-Van Halen
Shut Up and Let Me Go-The Ting Tings
Come On Come On-Smashmouth
Le Disko-Shiny Toy Guns
Shove It-Santogold
Car Wash-Rose Royce
Time Bomb-Rancid
The Whole World-Outkast
Final Chapter-Mike Macaluso
Sandstorm-Darude
We Like To Party-Venga Boys
Flagpole Sitta-Harvery Danger
DARE-Gorillaz
Jerk It Out-Caesars
Magic-The Cars
Love Mix
My wife.
All I Want is You-U2
One-U2
Next To You-Tim Easton
Still Remains-Stone Temple Pilots.
Cherish-Kool & The Gang
Dakota-Stereophonics
You Are So Beautiful-Joe Cocker
The Air I Breathe-The Hollies
Chillaxin' Mix
Just looking to relax and unwind.
Can I Kick It?-A Tribe Called Quest
Summertime-DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
Don't Let Go-Weezer
Red Hill Mining Town-U2
The Late Greats-Wilco
Doin' Time-Sublime
Tha Shiznit-Snoop Dogg
6 Underground-Sneaker Pimps
The Boxer-Simon and Garfunkel
You're a Wolf-Sea Wolf
L.E.S. Artistes-Santogold
Passin' Me By-Pharcyde
Summer Babe-Pavement
Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress-The Hollies
Clint Eastwood-Gorillaz
I Can't Get With That-Fun Lovin' Criminals
Cardio Mix
Pump me up for a game or exercise.
Eye of the Tiger-Survivor
The Final Countdown-Europe
Wicked Garden-Stone Temple Pilots
Ladies and Gentlemen-Saliva
Engel-Rammstein
Here It Goes-OK Go
The Noose-The Offspring
Breakin'-The Music
Knights of Cydonia-Muse
Move-Moby
Just One Fix-Ministry
True Nature-Jane's Addiction
Right Here Right Now-Fat Boy Slim
Lose Yourself-Eminem
Galvanize-The Chemical Brothers
Knifeman-The Bronx
Glory Days-Bruce Springstein
Centerfield-John Fogerty
Thunderstruck-AC/DC
Sing Out Loud Mix
The songs I have to fight to keep from belting out for the world to hear.
Sweet Caroline-Neil Diamond
Free Fallin'-Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
California Dreamin-Mamas and Papas
One-U2
My Way-Frank Sinatra
Solitary Man-Neil Diamond
I Can't Smile Without You-Barry Manilow
Paradise City-Guns 'n Roses
I Can't Help Myself-The Four Tops
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